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Speaking of people with unusual physical traits:

I once knew a girl who actually had developed her breasts on her back.

She wasn't what you'd call all that good looking, but man she sure was fun to slow dance with!

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Submitted Dating ad:

I am man, 33, looking for a long term relationship.
Profession: Member of parliament for 11 years.
Traits: Strenuous, hard-working, righteous, honest, incorrupt, truthful, fighting for the rights of poor people.

Answer:
I am 30.
Profession: Working 15 years as a prostitute.
Tra...

When you feel like you're ugly, stupid and have no redeeming traits....

Don't wallow in despair; at least you have sound judgement.

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After God made all the animals

He went to Adam and Eve he told them

" I have two leftover traits that I think you should have it, first I have the ability to urinate while standing

Adam, interrupting god said: " please let me have it, it will go very well with my member, this is made for man, please God please pleas...

The old, evil, bald king had three sons.

The youngest one shared his traits but the two older sons were not of an evil nature. In order to make sure the youngest one succeeded him, the king captured a fairy and promised it freedom in exchange for a wish.

"I wish for my youngest son to be my heir" said the king.

The son disapp...

The wife looks at herself in the mirror and complain to her husband: “I am so ugly and wrinkle and fat. Do I even have any good traits?”

The husband put down his newspaper and slowly answer: “Your eyesight is excellent darling”

A new study found

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

My girlfriend has all the traits I desire.

In an ex.

TIL That procrastination stems from 2 basic personality traits

I'll post the link in a minute.

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When I’m watching porn, I don’t care if they have big breasts, big butts or a pretty face.

I'm a jack off all traits.

TIL that a controversial study found strong positive correlation between intelligence and physical traits including genital size in men

You thought this was a different sub didn't you

In an African tribe village, the chieftain's wife gave birth to a white skinned child.

The chieftain quickly figured the voluntary doctor from Europe might be to blame. So the chieftain asked him to talk in his tent.

Chieftain: "Today my wife gave birth to a white child. She and I are dark skinned. You are white. It doesn't take a doctor to figure out that you have slept with ...

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people.

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him ...

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Anatomy class...

A anatomy teacher teaches his students during an autopsy... he says:

“There are two main traits, a good surgeon must have... first is, nothing can disgust him!”

He proceeds to stick his finger in the corpses asshole, pulls it out and sucks on it... Half the students start throwing up....

After a long engagement,

Peter and his wife, Mary had taken the step of matrimony.

One day, Peter and Mary sat down to discuss what traits they wanted their baby to have. After a long discussion, the couple decided that to be successful in life, their baby must be courteous to others and be the most polite person in...

A very rich, materialistic man is sitting and thinking.

He has many luxurious things - everything inside and out, huge mansion, massive watch collection, extensive antique display, and most importantly, a gallery of luxury cars.

He, in high spirits, decides to add to his car collection and buys a brand new Lamborghini Huracan. Then, he spends the ...

How long do those mail in DNA tests take to receive back?

My son was born with a different skincolor than myself and wife. Just wondering what Recessive traits we're passed down to him. I mailed it off over 6 months ago and still no response....

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A mum and daughter wants to get a parrot.

There was a parrot given away by a prostitution and it was sent to the adoption home. The mum and daughter went to the adoption home and looked at the parrot and all the parrot kept saying is "Fuck you! Fuck you!".

Finding it funny, the mum and daughter enquired about the parrot's traits and...

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A bartender is closing down his bar

A bartender is closing down his bar at the end of the evening. Three men remain hunched over at the bar. Each has been there the whole night and has been drinking heavily, but none of them seem to have the strength or desire to strike up a conversation.

As the bartender cleans the last few g...

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Two souls are chatting in heaven

One asks the other about its past lives.

"Well,after I'd died in my last to last life, God gave me a choice to be reborn. I said yes. He gave me a form with 3 options with checkboxes next to them and a submit button.

He said, "Choose only 2, son. You have earned a good life through pas...

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Another set of Jewish mom jokes

Seeing how my first post had a ~~huuuuge~~ kinda moderate success, here's another set.

Because it seems americains are not aware of the jewish mom stereotype, here is a rough translation of the French Wiki :

> The typical traits of the jewish mom include :
>
> * An exces...

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First "Contact"

In the years that followed first contact between humanity and an alien race, individuals from both species took steps to integrate their two cultures. At one of several social conventions held to further this goal, a human couple and an alien couple meet and discuss their common traits. They eventua...

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