Multiple Personality Jokes - 25 Hilarious Multiple Personality Jokes

Just found out I have multiple personality disorder

I gotta tell the other guys

My psychiatrist told me I have multiple personality disorder

We think that’s stupid

Do you reckon I've got multiple personality disorder?

I'm in two minds, myself.

What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder?

A we're wolf.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off.

"You're self-employed you stupid bastard," I said.

Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.

But, I've always been more of a people person.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder...

And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him

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Multiple Personality Disorder

A girl I met claimed to have multiple personalities. “Is that OK with you?” she asked.

“Quack quack quack!” I responded, then added “Apologies, my other personality is a duck. He doesn’t talk much, good listener though.”

“That’s so interesting!” she replied. “So how do you understand e...

I went to high school with Sybil, the multiple personality disorder woman

She was good people.

My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder.

Well, three can play that game!

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Today, my therapist told me that I might have Multiple Personality Disorder.

I said, “Doctor, you must be talking to the wrong guy.”

I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder.

Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.

I would take them all over my ex-wife's one!

Edit: Don't believe this guy! He sucks at telling jokes.

Edit: Shut up Jeff!

Edit: No, you shut up Karen!

Edit: you guys are impossible to ...

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Multiple personality disorder has made my sex life hard...

I want to masturbate , but I'm not into orgies.

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."

"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"

"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

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What does the mom say when she catches her son with multiple personality disorder in the middle of masturbating?

Stop playing with yourselves.

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My therapist just diagnosed me as a people’s person…

..but he insists it’s called multiple personality disorder.

What does a suicidal multiple personality say every morning?

If I don't kill myself soon, I will!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If y...

Okay, how bad is this one?

How does a person with multiple personality disorder live with oneself?

Well, they don't....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought my wife was cheating on me but it turns out she's just fucking crazy.

Yeah, apparently I have multiple personality disorder

People I Know, For As Long As I Can Remember, Have Always Come Up To Me With A Smile On Their Faces, Slap Me Playfully On The Shoulder, And Inform Me That I'm A Real People Person, And That's Always Bothered Me...

Because I Think It's A Very Demeaning Way To Refer To My Multiple Personality Disorder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Welcome to the Mental Health Helpline. Please listen carefully to the following options:

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please get someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
* If you have Tourette's Syndrome, please say "CUNT!" after the tone.
* If you have sch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.

If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you d...

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams...

I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist...

She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.

Now I feel like a distribution.

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