Although fiber helps pass stool, you need to be careful about the type of fiber you ingest.

From my experience, T-Shirts work well but Jeans are a big no.

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

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Most people don't get enough fiber in their diet.

Tough shit.

Q: what kind of murderer has moral fiber?

A: a cereal killer

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My friend said I need to get my shit together

I told him that it's cause I eat too much fiber

Always carry some fiber cable with you when hiking

If you get lost, just bury it in the ground. A backhoe will be along shortly to cut the cable, and you can ask for directions.

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This woman turned me down because she only dates dudes with a high fiber diet

I guess my shit isn't together enough.

How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar?

Total internal reflection.

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I've been having a rough time lately wth my life, and my best friend suggested I try some insoluble fiber.

He said it really helped him keep his shit together.

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Ate some Fiber One muffins...

That shit was great.

I changed all my light switches to carbon fiber ones

They make the rooms lighter

Bernie Sanders and Google Fiber walk into a bar.

And all of Reddit gave it an upvote.

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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The thing I don't like about Dietary Fiber is the large poops

I'm also not crazy about our dog's name.

Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements?

He needed to have an Even Flow.

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Rick is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Carl.

...after taking some time to size Carl up and decide that he can trust him, Rick tells Carl about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Rick says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its co...

Here in California Catholics use non-fat, high fiber communion wafers.

They call them "I can't believe it's not Jesus"

Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors.

Timmy loved tractors. His life was all about tractors. Tractor bedspread, tractor themed birthday parties, tractor t-shirts, school bags, lunchbox, everything Timmy owned was tractor themed in some way. He knew everything there was to know about tractors; big, small, new, old, he knew it all. When h...

What do the head of marketing for Metamucil and the head of Infrastructure at AT&T have in common?

Both are in charge of fiber optics.

There once was a young engineer,

who having worked for several years, decided that he and his family should have a weekend getaway place.

He searched the surrounding country, and found a lovely spot with frontage on a small river. They built a cabin, and began spending time there every chance they got. The kids loved it, an...

The Pope Dies and Goes to Heaven but its more realistic

The ARCHANGEL Gabriel awaits him. Good ol' Gabe asks who he is.

The Pope: "I am the pope."

Gabriel: "Nope. I ain't got a pope in my rope" (his book was made out of paper and thats actually fiber and a long piece of fiber is called a string and a lot of string is a rope so therefore eve...

Jacques and Pierre were bitter enemies

So one day, Jacques challenged Pierre to a duel. Swords were chosen. They faced off and drew their weapons. Jacques struck first, thrusting his sword toward Pierre, but Pierre daftly swatted his sword to the side and returned a thrust, piercing Jacques in the shoulder. They circled each other a few ...

Russian archeologists made a big discovery

As they dug a 100 meter deep hole, they found old copper wires. They made a big, worldwide announcement that the Russians were an advanced species. Even 1000 years ago they already had a copper network.

The Americans couldn't cope with the Russians being advanced longer than the Americans, so...

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Donald Trump.

I heard this was the subreddit for old jokes that aren't funny and won't die.

 

 

 

 

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**Edit:** My goal (reddit bucket list type thing) was to create an organic, original,...

When I was in middle school, my "friends" used to force me to eat vegetables until I almost threw up.

They even started sending me pictures of vegetables on the internet, threatening to make me eat lettuce until I was sick. To this day, I still suffer from the effects of their rampant and traumatic fiber-bullying.

My internet connection and my diet are missing one thing in common...

Fiber

Time to pun-ish you all!

A rope walked into a bar. The bartender looked at it and said, "Hey! No ropes in here!" So the rope walked out. Once outside, it twisted upon itself a number of times, then rubbed it's short free end until it was just a bunch of fibers without any organization. Upon completion of this, the rope walk...

A Tailor Had His Eyes Replaced With Yarn Balls...

...So now he has fiber optics.

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There was once this circus performer who could eat anything, and would do so for his act.

His best trick was when he would eat several pillows and pillowcases, a comforter, a fitted sheet, a regular sheet, and a mattress all in one sitting. Unfortunately, he couldn’t preform the stunt often as the immense amount of fiber would block him up for nearly a month. After about three weeks of p...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch. They get to talking about which civilization was the most technologically advanced.

The Englishman proclaims, "Surely England was the most technologically advanced nation. Why, our archaeologists dug 1,000 meters into the earth un...

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Yesterday my GF seemed very nervous about giving me head...

..and instead was wildly smacking and hitting my thighs and lower stomach.
She seemed to be beating around the bush.

People always say I should be lucky to be able to live off workers comp, but it cost me an arm and a leg!

I was out of town for a couple weeks and I decided letting m...

Why is gigabit internet good for you?

Because it's high in fiber!

haha, I'll show myself out...

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Happy Dog Chow

Last week at Walmart I had a big bag of Happy Dog Chow in my cart, and as I passed a woman shopper she asked me if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, a giraffe?

Well, I’m retired and always on the lookout for fun, so I told her I didn’t actually have a dog, but I was starting on ...

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