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Pc Jokes

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture

I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

I got fired from PC World today.

A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.


“Probably a shovel” was not the right answer.

What do you call a gaming PC with a busted graphics card?

One hell of a work computer

Why can't PC gamers use Uber?

Too many incompatible drivers.

My son was so upset when he didn't get a gaming pc for his birthday

luckily, this playstation was able to..........console him

Why do PC builders hate adoption?

Because they dont want a pre-build

A duck walks into a PC repair store...(long)

Just an ordinary day in life, without any sense for anything being unusual about its presence there, the duck waddles up to the counter, looks at the clerk and asks:
(duck) do you have breead?
(clerk) uh... No. This is a PC repair shop. We don't sell bread.
Dejected, the duck waddles back...

I left my PC on all night and when I woke up, it was freezing

Turns out, I left the Windows open.

What happens if you severely overclock a PC?

It goes up in frames!

I don't like sidescrolling games on pc...

most of the time it's just d-pressing.

I tried teaching my mom how to build a PC

But all it did was make my motherboard

Going to buy curtains for my PC, you know why?

It has windows.

Why couldn't the PC gamer stop crying?

He refused to be consoled.

What's the difference between a woman and a PC from 1995?

A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

PC Fan Noises

So I just asked me computer guy why my computer fan makes so much noise when my computer is just starting up. He said not to worry, the fan's just taking a second to get it's bearings.

Gordon Freeman recently turned 45 and started buying loads of retro PC gaming equipment.

He was experiencing a Half Life crisis.

Had an issue remotely connecting to an Australian PC.

Connection was blocked by the firewall.

There is a simple reason why you should put a PC on the floor...

The PC can not crash this way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank asked Joe what function key on a Windows PC is used to spell check

Joe responded: “F5”

Frank said “No that’s refreshing my browser page”

Joe said “No look at the window!! Fucking F5!”

Frank angrily replied “DUDE! I’m looking! it’s refreshing the page, not spell check!!”

Frank took some initiative and looked it up himself to find that the...

What do you call a PC made of legos?

Bricked

"Homeless" is not a PC term...

...They prefer the terms "Trans-inhabitors" or "Residence-Fluid"

Time Stands Still for Enthusiast PC Owners...

They are so over clocks!

As a dog lover and PC player...

I obviously buy only To-Shiba hard drives.

If I paint my PC black

will it run faster or stop working?

I installed anti-virus on my PC

Now the damned thing has autism.

What did they say about the guy who stole Michael Phelp's custom-ordered PC?

He had a swimmer's build.

Why didn't the pc gamer cross the street ?

Because he's morbidly obese

My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum, her or my PC

She’s now homeless

How Do You Know Someone Is A PC Gamer?

You don't, they tell you.

Sign on the door of a PC repair shop

Theory is when something doesn't work, but you know why.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.

Here we combine practice and theory - nothing works and we have no idea why.

What kind of PC sings really well?

A Dell

No Longer PC

It's no longer Politically Correct to call someone a "tweaker".

You now call them "Methican American".

Why don't pc gamers get laid

Because they're micro-soft

I tried to play the Titanic game on my PC

But as soon as I hit the iceberg, it crashed

I hate the PC culture we live in these days.

Can't a guy just use a Playstation without getting called a "peasant"?

How do you know if a PC Gamer has a 1080ti?

Don't worry, they'll make sure you know.

What's it called when you try to appear PC by conspicuously including little people in your company's ad material

Tolkienism

If Rolex had an app on PC what would be Its file name?

Rol.exe



Sorry for the trash pun, thought about it while walking in front of rolex

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My pc suddenly died while on a trip to japan

it appeared to have committed cpuku

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

My PC Died today and my friend offered me to lend me his PS4 while i waited for replacements parts.

........But i was simply unconsolable

Why was the Windows PC broke?

It ran out of cache.

I came home to find an axe buried in my pc

I think it has been hacked

Arnold Schwarzenegger PC upgrade

Few years ago someone asked Arnold Schwarzenegger to upgrade his PC to windows 7. He said I still love vista, baby

This PC society is getting out of hand

You can't even say "black paint" anymore. Now you have to say "Jamal, could you paint that wall please?"

Why did the Army Intelligence Officer smash the PC?

He heard there was intel inside.

It's really ironic that Steve Jobs died of PC.

Pancreatic Cancer

The PC term for Christmas

C:\hristmas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was young my mom grounded me for having a file on pc with the name "boobies pics"

I never understood why bird watching was wrong

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

gross and not PC, but funny...

A guy walks into a brothel, and the madam greets him at the counter. He explains that he would like to have a go, but he is a little short on cash. The madam points to a very plain looking woman sitting in the parlor, and says "Well, that's Brenda. She will cost you $20." The guy explains that he re...

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.

How did Germany raise its GDP pc. during WW2?

Reduce the capita

What's the difference between a Mac user and a PC user

Mac users command, PC users control

How to check whether you have a fast PC...

Click anywhere on your desktop (not on icon).

Quickly press on keyboard Ctrl+A then Enter.

So you will know.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People call me a Grammar Nazi. So un-PC!

I prefer Alt-Write.

PC gamers don't take hot showers.

They take Steam-y ones.

Why it's called the pc mustard race?

Because consoles need to ketchup

Why did Jesus only play his favorite game on PC?

Because it wasn’t cross-platform

Why was the pc gamer denied entry into the nightclub?

It was exclusive.

I heard Disney is making a princess that's more pc to viewers.

She's said to resemble Rapunzel. Except instead of letting down her hair, she lets down everyone in her life.

Heard that Backstreet Boys is getting a video game for them on the PC.

Definitely not going to be released on Xbox and PlayStation though as it is inconsolable.

So I came home today to find a homeless guy munching biscuits over my PC cabinet.

When I confronted him he said he'd clear the cookies later.

The people at my school are very PC and its so annoying

I can't go five minutes without someone asking me if I'd like to update windows

I was playing games on my pc and my cat kept jumping onto my desk.

I had to put him down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This "PC" crap is getting ridiculous... A door greeter at my local Walmart got fired for wishing two little girls a Merry Christmas!

I mean, it was August and he wasn't wearing pants, but still...

A man buys a monitor lizard for his PC.

Back home, he tries to connect it to the computer via HDMI.

The lizard bites him, so he calls the shop.

Tech support: "Monitor Lizards are not compactible with HDMI. You need to connect the lizard via UCP (Universal Cloacal Port). Also they love computer mice. You should buy a 20-pac...

Do you know how PC gamers always can beat console players if they play against each other?

They press the Win-key.

Why does Windows 10 say "Hello"?

Because my PC is a Dell.


(please don't hurt me it's my first post on r/Jokes omg)

I would have told that joke about Console Games....

but that wasn't PC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife found a lot of animal porn on my pc - but I think I got away with it!

I blamed the dog.

My addiction to computer gaming started when my family bought a PC in the 90's...

I guess that was my Gateway drug.

Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture

Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.

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