What kind of PC sings really well?

A Dell

I was playing games on my pc and my cat kept jumping onto my desk.

I had to put him down.

Why did the Army Intelligence Officer smash the PC?

He heard there was intel inside.

My friend recently was recently thinking about going from from PC gaming to Console gaming. I told him it was time for the Switch

No pun Nintendo

Time Stands Still for Enthusiast PC Owners...

They are so over clocks!

Does anyone know the PC term for short people?

...or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This "PC" crap is getting ridiculous... A door greeter at my local Walmart got fired for wishing two little girls a Merry Christmas!

I mean, it was August and he wasn't wearing pants, but still...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU- I watched porn at full volume on the work PC. Masturbated thrice and spoke to 3 female colleagues while doing the deed.

Thank god I work from home.

If Rolex had an app on PC what would be Its file name?

Rol.exe



Sorry for the trash pun, thought about it while walking in front of rolex

Heard that Backstreet Boys is getting a video game for them on the PC.

Definitely not going to be released on Xbox and PlayStation though as it is inconsolable.

For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife found a lot of animal porn on my pc - but I think I got away with it!

I blamed the dog.

My mom entered my room and found me all stressed out facing my PC.

"Having trouble with your computer?" she asked.
"Yes, it seems not to find the new printer," I replied.

My mum looked round my room then replied, "I'm not surprised. Look how messy your room is."

Programmer: my dog ate my PC

Boss: ...

Programmer: it took him a couple bytes

Do you know how PC gamers always can beat console players if they play against each other?

They press the Win-key.

What do you call a PC that falls in the ocean?

A Dell rolling in the deep

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture

I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

It's really ironic that Steve Jobs died of PC.

Pancreatic Cancer

If I paint my PC black

will it run faster or stop working?

What does a homeless person do when using a PC for the first time?

He searches through the trash bin.

I hate the PC culture we live in these days.

Can't a guy just use a Playstation without getting called a "peasant"?

Why do poeple have to be so anti-PC?

Xbox and PlayStation kinda suck

"Homeless" is not a PC term...

...They prefer the terms "Trans-inhabitors" or "Residence-Fluid"

I’ve been a PC gamer for over 20 years. Yesterday I bought a PS4, best decision ever!

Now my 8 year old son doesn’t have to touch my beloved PC!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between my PC and Paul Walker?

I actually give a shit when my PC crashes.

Why do Macs run hotter than PCs?

Because they don't have Windows.

I got fired from PC World today.

A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.


“Probably a shovel” was not the right answer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My pc suddenly died while on a trip to japan

it appeared to have committed cpuku

I don't like sidescrolling games on pc...

most of the time it's just d-pressing.

The other day I found this literal fossil of a PC...

It had about a trilobyte of storage on it!

A duck walks into a PC repair store...(long)

Just an ordinary day in life, without any sense for anything being unusual about its presence there, the duck waddles up to the counter, looks at the clerk and asks:
(duck) do you have breead?
(clerk) uh... No. This is a PC repair shop. We don't sell bread.
Dejected, the duck waddles back...

A middle aged couple on vacation

In the coldest months of winter a middle aged couple from the north of USA , had missed the summer so much they decided to go to Florida , and stay in the same hotel they spent their honeymoon 20 years ago.

The husband had a longer holiday so he decide he would go a day earlier to surprise hi...

Why did the man who fell asleep in front of his PC got sick?

Because the Windows were open.

Why do so many conservatives own game consoles?

Because they hate PC culture.

I heard Disney is making a princess that's more pc to viewers.

She's said to resemble Rapunzel. Except instead of letting down her hair, she lets down everyone in her life.

My PC Died today and my friend offered me to lend me his PS4 while i waited for replacements parts.

........But i was simply unconsolable

I tried teaching my mom how to build a PC

But all it did was make my motherboard

Why can't PC gamers use Uber?

Too many incompatible drivers.

Why was the pc gamer denied entry into the nightclub?

It was exclusive.

Why didn't the pc gamer cross the street ?

Because he's morbidly obese

How did Germany raise its GDP pc. during WW2?

Reduce the capita

How Do You Know Someone Is A PC Gamer?

You don't, they tell you.

So I came home today to find a homeless guy munching biscuits over my PC cabinet.

When I confronted him he said he'd clear the cookies later.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I fucking hate how everyone is all behind this PC bullshit about different colours nowdays

Macs are normally the same colour and they sell just as well

Why did Jesus only play his favorite game on PC?

Because it wasn’t cross-platform

My son was so upset when he didn't get a gaming pc for his birthday

luckily, this playstation was able to..........console him

As a dog lover and PC player...

I obviously buy only To-Shiba hard drives.

This PC society is getting out of hand

You can't even say "black paint" anymore. Now you have to say "Jamal, could you paint that wall please?"

How are PCs different from woman?

I know how to turn a PC on.

This new fad about Battle Royale PC games...

Give it 2 weeks.

Whats a low-end PC's New Years Resolution?

800x600

I installed anti-virus on my PC

Now the damned thing has autism.

My addiction to computer gaming started when my family bought a PC in the 90's...

I guess that was my Gateway drug.

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People call me a Grammar Nazi. So un-PC!

I prefer Alt-Write.

What's the difference between a woman and a PC from 1995?

A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

The people at my school are very PC and its so annoying

I can't go five minutes without someone asking me if I'd like to update windows

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] With how PC everyone is getting, we might want to start practicing The Canada sex position more often...

Climb on top, don't do much then apologize.

No Longer PC

It's no longer Politically Correct to call someone a "tweaker".

You now call them "Methican American".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

Why don't pc gamers get laid

Because they're micro-soft

A software developer dies and comes to the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter looks at the screen of his PC and says: "Sorry, I cannot let you in. There are bugs in the enrollment system and since you are a software developer, you must fix them first."

So the software developer takes a seat at St. Peter's desk and tries to fix the bugs for hours and hours, ...

Steve Jobs and Trump had one thing in common, both hated the PC culture

Political correctness and pancreatic cancer.

What's the difference between a Mac user and a PC user

Mac users command, PC users control

What's a lawyers least favourite PC case.

An open case.

I only have a PC so I can't play all the new exclusives.

I am just inconsolable.

A man buys a monitor lizard for his PC.

Back home, he tries to connect it to the computer via HDMI.

The lizard bites him, so he calls the shop.

Tech support: "Monitor Lizards are not compactible with HDMI. You need to connect the lizard via UCP (Universal Cloacal Port). Also they love computer mice. You should buy a 20-pac...

Sign on the door of a PC repair shop

Theory is when something doesn't work, but you know why.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.

Here we combine practice and theory - nothing works and we have no idea why.

Master/slave terminology was recently removed from the python programming language so as not to offend anyone.

Looks like PC’s finally won.

gross and not PC, but funny...

A guy walks into a brothel, and the madam greets him at the counter. He explains that he would like to have a go, but he is a little short on cash. The madam points to a very plain looking woman sitting in the parlor, and says "Well, that's Brenda. She will cost you $20." The guy explains that he re...

The PC term for Christmas

C:\hristmas

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked u...

Where are PCs formed?

In the computerus.

TIL that there's a new shortcut in the PC version of GTA V, which when you press it, will cause your character to kill minorities.

Alt-right.

How to check whether you have a fast PC...

Click anywhere on your desktop (not on icon).

Quickly press on keyboard Ctrl+A then Enter.

So you will know.

How do you know a blonde has been on your PC

There is typex all over the screen

Why was the Windows PC broke?

It ran out of cache.

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