Iphone Jokes - 94 Hilarious Iphone Jokes

My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.

It's my way or the Huawei.

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

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Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

Today I gave an iPhone and $500 to a homeless guy.

You will never know the happiness I felt when he put his gun away.

To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday

Can you please stop calling my new phone?

The next iPhone won't be a failure

In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.

iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...

Guys I just recently bought a 256GB iPhone 7 Plus, my son dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor?

Because they crack up easily.

What's the difference between an iPhone X and one ounce of gold?

An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.

What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen?

An iWitness.

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Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

What do new IPhones have in common with San Diego?

No Chargers.

What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common?

They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

I just got the new iPhone for my wife

All things considered a pretty good trade.

What does Julius Caesar mainly use his iPhone for?

CarPlay, DM

Have you heard about the new iPhone SE made for Mexico?

It's called the ayayayPhone.

My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7.

I wish I had an iPhone 7.

If apple released iphone 8 and 10 this year

Would it release nine eleven next year

Edit : my first 24 hours top 10 thanks all

Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X

We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year

Why is it so hard to determine if an iPhone is better than an Android?

It’s not an Apples to Apples comparison.

Covid is like the iPhone

Made in China but popular in the USA

I just gave a homeless guy 530 dollars and my new iPhone x

He was so happy he even put his knife back in his pocket

Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men?

Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, "six plus"

My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away

He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blue hair...

If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission..

They should just call U2 and ask how they did it

How do you milk sheep?

Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1500 for it.

What will happen to your iPhone under Communism?

There won't be any iPhones, but you will have an UsPhone.

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CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE SE AND OB...

I got a free iPad and iPhone today.

It's like... this gun is magic!!!

I won an Iphone 13 in a race

The other two competitors are: the owner of the phone and police officers

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An android phone and an iPhone meet after a year.

iPhone: What......the......fuck.....dude? You.....are.....infested.....with.....malware!!

Android Phone: Fuckers don't update me. But what happened to you? Why are speaking with a lag?

iPhone: Fuckers.....updated......me.

What is an iPhone without me?

Phone

Why do iPhone cameras look like a stove top?

Because Tim Cooks.

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Apple announced its plans for a iPhone buttplug

It will be the world's first smart ass phone

My daughter just cracked my new Iphone Xs screen, so I’m passing it back to a lucky commenter. Info below.

Girl, 7-year-old, can do basic math and alphabet, good at housework, overall a good child.

iPhone Found Dead

Later charged with battery

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I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting o...

Have you seen the new iPhone card trick?

It's the one where all the jacks dissappear

My girlfriend made me pick between either the iPhone or her

(Sent from my iPhone)

iPhone X has face recognition...

so girls aren't gonna be able to unlock their phones when they take their makeup off

My wife’s like an iPhone

I can’t put jack in her anymore

What do you call an iPhone 6S that ran out memory space.

Successful

How to find a lost iPhone

1) Google "Find my phone"

2) Enter Apple's site

3) Login to your account

4) Confirm verification code sent to your phone...

(not a joke, a real story)

The flashlight on my iPhone is like a woman

The slightest touch turns it on

And then I can’t figure out what to do with it

I feel sorry for the guy who lost his iPhone 13 Pro on the bus yesterday, I really do…

…but I wish he’d stop calling me on my new cell.

I renamed my iPhone “The Titanic”

So when I plug it in my computer it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

My girlfriend is like an iphone

I don't have an iphone.

Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep.

Just release a new iphone every year.

what do you call an iphone's battery?

apple juice

I asked my kids, "Why isn't an iPhone charger...?"

"...called Apple Juice?!"

Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model?

Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.

(Edit: I hate to put this here but: pronounced like “Excess”)

It turns out the iPhone 7 is illegal.

It got de-ported

To the person who stole my iPhone

You will face time

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FUCK! I got caught stealing this iphone

Looks like I'm facing time

I really like the iPhone X

It's the only thing that gets turned on by looking at me

iPhones map app has major problems

iPhone map app has a major problem. The voice directed me to "turn left then bear right" .... but it was really just a cat sitting there.

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I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

Did you hear about the guy whose been stealing iPhones all over town?

He is going to Face Time soon.

What kind of iPhone does Borat have?

A great 6S!

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A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool that turns the waters into any substance of your choice if you shout it out loud enough before jumping in.

The Japanese threw his wooden sandals aside and ran towards the pool shouting "Sakeeee!!" He landed happily in 5 feet of Japanese rice wine. The Russian threw his AK-47 aside and ran to the pool screaming "Vodkaaaa!" as he lept in the air. He happily swam and drank the purest Russian Vodka after. Th...

Everybody loves the iPhone X, XS and 11 Pro...

Because their top notch

Apple is advertising the new iPhone as "The most powerful four inches ever."

I can't believe they stole my slogan.

So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it.

Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.

I'm like an iPhone

I lose energy without doing nothing

Everyone is wondering why Apple released the iPhone 8 and iPhone X (10), but didn't mention the iPhone 9.

It's probably because 7 8 9.

Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone

He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

There is a guy that keeps stealing iPhones

I'm sure he will soon FaceTime!

A student was playing games on his iPhone

A student was playing games on his iPhone, and a teacher caught him.

she yelled "knock it off"

the student took that advice to heart and founded Huawei

Why was the iPhone wearing glasses?

It lost all its contacts.

Part of my WFH agreement is that I have to check in with my Director (I'm IT PM) every day, so rather than just saying "morning - I'm on!" I am sending her a silly IT joke :D Any good suggestions?

My boyfriend is like an iPhone 7

Just jacks off

The two men were in an argument about iPhones vs Androids

It was quite the deviceive issue!

With the iPhone 7 we have to charge the phone and the earphones, with the iphone 8 ...

... I think we'll also have to charge the charger.

I was thinking about buying the new iPhone

But with so few new features, I thought the price was a bit excessive.

Do you know why iPhones have small "i"s?

Cuz they made in China.

Why are iPhones afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 X

new iPhone 7

son: Daddy, buy me the new iPhone 7

Dad: What is the magic word?

son: Natasha

Dad: who is Natasha

son: your lover

Dad: do you need also a case?

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Mussolini: Bro how do i turn my iPhone off?

Hitler: Dude just use the Auff-Switch

Most iPhone owners don't know this one simple trick to save hundreds.

Buys android *

Apparently you could fold the new IPhone now

Granted, you cant use it afterwards but you could fold it

The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far...

It seems to be a huge 6S

What do Trump and the iPhone have in common?

NVM, we should never compare Apples to oranges.

What does iPhone Xr stand for?

eXpensive and Ridiculous

iPhone's from the future.

2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack

2017: iPhone 8=no battery

2018: iPhone 9=no screen

2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000

iPhone X has face recognition!

What I can’t grasp is... how will it work with two-faced people?

Judging by how expensive this year's iPhones are...

It's no wonder why they're called the iPhone Excess and iPhone Excess Max

My iPhone on Airplane mode

Me: Siri, surely it must rain today

Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?

They both let me stick it in only one place.

My iPhone 8 Plus is just like a newborn baby

...except I drop it a lot less

What do Shia LaBeouf and an iPhone cord have in common?

They both have a charge for battery.

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