My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.

It's my way or the Huawei.

Guys i just bought a 256GB iPhone 11, my brother dropped it and the screen shattered. Anyways I'm doing a giveaway!

The kid is 6 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.

Some guy has been stealing Iphones all over town, I hope they catch him.

He is going to face time soon.

Why do Stormtroopers only have iPhones?

Because they couldn't find the Androids they were looking for!

Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor?

Because they crack up easily.

The two men were in an argument about iPhones vs Androids

It was quite the deviceive issue!

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

I just gave a homeless guy 530 dollars and my new iPhone x

He was so happy he even put his knife back in his pocket

To the person who lost their iPhone 11...

Please stop calling my new phone.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

Today l gave $500 and an iPhone to a homeless guy...

You don't know how great I felt when he put the gun away.

How do you milk sheep?

Release new iPhone with less accessories

What do new IPhones have in common with San Diego?

No Chargers.

What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?

Apple Juice

iPhone Found Dead

Later charged with battery

iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...

How to find a lost iPhone

1) Google "Find my phone"

2) Enter Apple's site

3) Login to your account

4) Confirm verification code sent to your phone...

(not a joke, a real story)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)

Burying my wife made me feel like an iPhone

Was so damn hard throwing away the box I came in

How is the liquid inside the iPhone’s battery called?

Apple juice

I renamed my iPhone, "The Titanic"

So when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

My iPhone was stolen today...

...I hope the thief will face time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE SE AND OB...

What kind of iPhone does Borat have?

A great 6S!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

FUCK! I got caught stealing this iphone

Looks like I'm facing time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An android phone and an iPhone meet after a year.

iPhone: What......the......fuck.....dude? You.....are.....infested.....with.....malware!! 


Android Phone: Fuckers don't update me. But what happened to you? Why are speaking with a lag? 


iPhone: Fuckers.....updated......me.

Why do Chinese people love iPhones?

Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.

Wow I got all this for free today. iPhone, some weed, and $2 000

... it’s like this gun is magic!

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Everybody loves the iPhone X, XS and 11 Pro...

Because their top notch

Most iPhone owners don't know this one simple trick to save hundreds.

Buys android *

What do you call someone who has seen an iPhone being stolen?

An iWitness!

Michael J Fox stole my old iPhone & hacked his way into it.

I think he’s looking for The Secret of my 6S

What do you call a fake iPhone

A Phone-y

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool that turns the waters into any substance of your choice if you shout it out loud enough before jumping in.

The Japanese threw his wooden sandals aside and ran towards the pool shouting "Sakeeee!!" He landed happily in 5 feet of Japanese rice wine. The Russian threw his AK-47 aside and ran to the pool screaming "Vodkaaaa!" as he lept in the air. He happily swam and drank the purest Russian Vodka after. Th...

Coinciding with each new iphone announcement I too roll out a similar product each year

I call it the Eye-roll.

My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away

He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blue hair...

What do Shia LaBeouf and an iPhone cord have in common?

They both have a charge for battery.

iPhones map app has major problems

iPhone map app has a major problem. The voice directed me to "turn left then bear right" .... but it was really just a cat sitting there.

Apple better watch its quarterly earnings, its latest iPhone has competition

It's called Charmin Ultra Soft

My girlfriend made me pick between either the iPhone or her

(Sent from my iPhone)

I saw this guy today at Starbucks, no iPhone, no tablet, no laptop.

He just sat there drinking coffee.

Like a psychopath.

My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7.

I wish I had an iPhone 7.

Melinda broke up with Bill through email

The email read as follows:


Bill,



I think it's time for us to see other people and move on from each other.


-M

Sent from my IPhone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As much as I liked that rectal fever thermometer app on the iPhone...

... on the iPad it's a fucking pain in the ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my iPhone “Titanic”

Going to wait till it syncs, then Jack off.

I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.

What is an iPhone without me?

Phone

I’m trying to come up with an iphone 11 joke...

It’s basically an iphone X joke with a few minor tweaks and improvements

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

A student was playing games on his iPhone

A student was playing games on his iPhone, and a teacher caught him.

she yelled "knock it off"

the student took that advice to heart and founded Huawei

What do iPhones eat for breakfast?

Siri-al

(My 7 year old's joke)

What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common?

They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

Girl: How do you know Apple is run by men? Because they call it the iPhone 6+ when it's only 5.5 inches long

Guy: Of course it's run by men, it's a trillion dollar company, not a kitchen

Why was the iPhone wearing glasses?

It lost all its contacts.





Part of my WFH agreement is that I have to check in with my Director (I'm IT PM) every day, so rather than just saying "morning - I'm on!" I am sending her a silly IT joke :D Any good suggestions?

What's the difference between an iPhone X and one ounce of gold?

An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.

If apple released iphone 8 and 10 this year

Would it release nine eleven next year

Edit : my first 24 hours top 10 thanks all

I just got the new iPhone for my wife

All things considered a pretty good trade.

Since this year they launched the iPhone 8/X

We'll probably get to see 9/11 next year

I'm like an iPhone

I lose energy without doing nothing

My daughter just cracked my new Iphone Xs screen, so I’m passing it back to a lucky commenter. Info below.

Girl, 7-year-old, can do basic math and alphabet, good at housework, overall a good child.

My buddy was bragging about his Airpods...

He found it amazing that they seamlessly connect from his iPhone to his iPad when he changes devices. I told him that my Jabra does a pretty good job, but it doesn't always get it right because it's connecting to Android, Windows, and iOS devices so it's not an apples to Apples comparison.

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode.

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones?

Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

My iPhone screen went black but I can still hear my ringtone and answer phone calls

It's just an earPhone now.

My son deystroyed my new iphone 11 but i am still giving it away

It is a 8 year old nice looking boy

What drink rejuvenates an iPhone?

ehehe
I just thought of it...
APPLE JUICE!!!!!

Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?

Employee discounts

I asked my kids, "Why isn't an iPhone charger...?"

"...called Apple Juice?!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mussolini: Bro how do i turn my iPhone off?

Hitler: Dude just use the Auff-Switch

Why don't dentists like iPhones?

They can't root them.

I would never be stupid enough to sell my kidney for a brand new iphone

I only had one left now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting o...

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

How do you know if someone is a vegan hipster with an iphone that vapes?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Asked my iPhone, “Surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”. Siri replied “Yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.

Turns out I left Airplane mode on.

Why didn't Adam buy Eve the new iPhone?

Because Apple have terrible customer service and their products are really expensive.

I really like the iPhone X

It's the only thing that gets turned on by looking at me

People: Why does iPhone 11 camera looks like a stove?

Me: Because Tim Cook

I’m selling an almost brand new iPhone X with a minor issue for $50

Issue: the owner is calling

10 most funniest jokes ever.

So far have we gone, stressing up ourselves today. Let me remind you something, ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. What this popular saying meant is that we shouldn't spend all our time on work. At least, making out 20 percent of your total time should be enough fun.

Today, I have m...

The next iPhone won't be a failure

In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.

Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model?

Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.

(Edit: I hate to put this here but: pronounced like “Excess”)

I wondered for a long time why Apple and Microsoft went straight from iPhone/Windows 8 straight to X/10...

Then it finally occurred to me that 7 ate 9.

help: iphone 6s freezes but only when i play song "down with the sickness" any ideas??

edit: thx guys, turns out i was in "Do Not Disturbed" mode

My iPhone 8 Plus is just like a newborn baby

...except I drop it a lot less

Do you know why iPhones have small "i"s?

Cuz they made in China.

If the FBI needs to get into someones's iPhone without permission..

They should just call U2 and ask how they did it

Why did apple remove headphone jack from iPhone?

Because Tim Cook prefers one hole underneath instead of two.

I was thinking about buying the new iPhone

But with so few new features, I thought the price was a bit excessive.

Why are iPhones afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 X

What’s the difference between someone living on the street and the newer IPhone?

None, both of them are homeless

So I heard the new Iphone is gonna have that new Stephen King movie preloaded onto it.

Yeah. X is gonna give IT to ya.

I asked my son to go get me a phone book.

He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.

The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!

Judging by how expensive this year's iPhones are...

It's no wonder why they're called the iPhone Excess and iPhone Excess Max

So, my child just broke my new iPhone X screen. So, here’s a give away to a random Redditor!

She’s about 7, can do math and housework. Anyone interested?

*Dad gets a iPhone*

Dad: Son I’m going to jail... I’m going to Face Time

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