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Cpu Jokes

my brain is like an overclocked cpu

it runs 2000 fps for a couple seconds then melts

What does a CPU feel when it's overclocked?

It hertz.

What did the data say to the CPU?

Cache me outside

What did the heatsink say to the CPU?

"I'm a huge fan!"

I was upset when my AMD CPU died but...

Everything happens for a Ryzen.

What do you call a dolphin with a slow CPU?

A bottleneck dolphin

Why did the CPU kill the operating system?

It was executing instructions.

A CPU predicts you will walk into a bar

You do not.
Your wallet has been stolen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you do when you hear a really funny joke about trimming down a CPU?

You “die lapping”...

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

A smoking room in a big tech corporation

A smoking room in a big tech corporation (because the equipment is so fragile and sensitive that smoking is not allowed nearby). A lot of smoke and talk - circuits, chips, boards, punch cards and so on.

Then a young technician suddenly says, "Why we're always talking about tech things only? W...

My daughters have decided to open a computer repair service together!

They’re going to call it “2 Girls 1 CPU”

Why does the CPU never get any work done?

Because it gets interrupted constantly.

666 is the Number of the Beast

This from Todd Lewis, who has a great sense of humor.

We all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

* $666.95 - Retail price of the Beast
* $699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax
* $769.95 - Price of the Beast with all...

One thing changed when I switched from teaching math to teaching computer classes.

When students left at the end of class, I used to say, "Calcu-later!" Now I say "CPU later!"

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