This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a reddit user?

Because you give me the same fucking shit, day after day!

Why do reddit users hate facebook?

Because you need to have friends to be on facebook.

How do you know when a Reddit user has left their hotel?

Their username checks out.

What do you call it when a Steam user moves house?

A pro gamer move

A user is new to Reddit.

His friend—who is a longtime user—agrees to show him around the site. They go to r/jokes, and the user simply posts “7.”

Immediately, people begin upvoting and commenting their approval. The new user is puzzled.

The Reddit veteran then posts “13,” much to the pleasure of the sub. The p...

How many Reddit users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one to do it the first time, then countless others telling their own version of the task in a repost.

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

Give a homeless guy a meal he is happy for a day. Give a reddit user a joke.

They are happy for 4 years re-posting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Apple users live in basements?

Because they don't like Windows!

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

How would you spot a linux user?

Don't worry they will tell you themselves!

Mark Zuckerberg is really upset that Facebook is about to be fined $5 billion by the FTC for misusing users’ personal data.

Please respect his privacy at this challenging time.

The number of Firefox users in Bikini Bottom is dwindling...

In the future everything will be Chrome.

What did the Apple user say when another person showed him a r/Jokes post?

Haha...iknow that, ireddit!

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?

They both think outloud.

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of marijuana, they're a stoner.

Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.

Our cocaine lovers are cokeheads.

People obsessed with meth are tweakers.

Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call...

I heard that 99.9% of Reddit users are actually stupid

Thank God I’m the 1% that isn’t

A smartphone user is browsing Reddit at a funeral. He asks the priest sitting next to him, "do you have the wifi password"? Looking at him in disgust the priest exclaims, "Respect the dead"!

The smartphone user replies, "all lowercase"?

The front page is filled with memes in reference to that guy being dragged off of a plane. I can't remember the last time the entire reddit user base was so...

... United.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wheelchair user rides towards a bar.

On his way in he notices a man stood by the door smoking a cig.

The wheelchair user looks at the smoker and says "you do know that there is no reason for doing that at all. It won't make you feel better. It won't help you to fit in. It won't make you look cool."

"Really" says the smoke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Welsh men and Apple users have in common?

Both are fucking sheep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If alcoholics get whiskey dick, what do heroin users get?

Poppycock.

A coke user waits in line for a bar.

That’s the joke. Thought it was a good line, I bet it made you snort.

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

What did the CEO of Reddit say to its users

[Edit] Nothing

You can improve the average intelligence of reddit users right now.

Just delete your reddit account.

What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device?

He adjusts the volume.

What is a technique used by both swordfighters and Reddit users?

Riposte

Tumblr told a lot of their users to go screw themselves

Just not on their site.

How does a Linux user evolve Bonsly?

sudo woodo

A reddit user goes to order a foot long sandwich...

The sandwich maker asks, "What would you like on your sandwich?"

The user says, "Oh, I like anything on a sub, except for mayonnaise and reposts"

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

How do you offend a meth user?

Play them “All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth”.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

I learned my neighbor is an annoying Reddit user

After a storm blew down my fence and I had to repair it, he stormed over complaining about reposts.

An uncreative man who cant think of a User ID buys a chair on Amazon.

*Username* checks out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Viagra user who slipped in the bathroom?

He pole vaulted out the window

How do you confuse an Apple user?

Give them options.

what does an oncologist and an excel user have in common?

they both kill cells

Wife of a r/jokes user gave birth to beautiful twins.

He held the first baby and his eyes watered up, his heart filled with joy witnessing this miracle. He was speechless.


Then the nurse handed him the second baby, he gave the baby one hard look and handing the baby back to the nurse he uttered a single word "Repost"

What's the last thing that r/pcmasterrace would do to XBox/PlayStation users?

Console them

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they’ll never walk alone.

What is a Linux user's favorite game?

sudo ku

Told my boss my idea for a game where the user would steal an idol from a cave monster.

He told me to run with it.

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common?

They both really hate Androids.

Boy George would be a wonderful reddit user.

He would get a lot of karma karma karma karma karma chameleon.

I¨ve lost 20% of my couch

ouch

What Is The Hardest Thing for A Cocaine User To Do?

Nothing.

A Pokemon go user walks into a bar

Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of Olive Oil do Reddit users use to masturbate?

Extra Virgin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A meth user, An alcoholic, and a prostitute are all in a car. Who's driving?

The Police.

If iPhone user started getting on your nerves

Just ignore them by plugging your earbuds into the 3.5 mm jack of your phone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A facebook user, a LINE user (japanese social media), and a redditor are having a drink at a bar.

The facebook user says "I've got to go home and spend time with the wifey."

The LINE user says "I must go home and spend time with the waifu."

The redditor says "Then I'll go home and spend time with the wifi."

So many reddit users make this ONE mistake:

They always fall for clickbait

A hotel is filled to capacity with Reddit users, what happens next?

username checks out.

Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?

That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the wisemen, who were Reddit users, say to Jesus?

We come bearing GIFs.

What did the reddit user say to the CEO of reddit Ellen Pao

[This Post was Removed]

Each comment thread is a joke, but each user may only post one word.

You may only comment one word, or reply with one word to another comment. Good luck!

Why do Muslims respect Quora users?

'cause they're Quorans.

Where do all r/jokes users get their jokes?

The recycle bin.

Windows 10 users won't get this.

Privacy.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

My mom told me to make like a Windows 10 user

And live life on Edge.

How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ?

All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .

You shouldn't make a character in your game based off of a Reddit user

It would be OP

Why are the_donald users not cucks?

First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)

All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users

Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit.

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

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