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Macintosh Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Macintosh computer?

They tell you without you asking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Microsoft made cars.

Disclaimer: This Joke was made in the 1990's in response to comments that if the automobile industry kept pace with Silicone Valley cars would be much more advanced. The origin is the Mid 1990's
However at close retrospect some of this now happens.





At a computer expo (...

A man calls the National Security Agency...

Man: Hello, I heard you record all our phone conversations, is that correct?

Agent: No sir, we don't do that

Man: Oh shoot. I was just talking to my wife and she gave me a list of things to do and I can't remember! I thought I would check with you rather than call her back and let her ...

It's Timmy's last day of school...

Timmy brings an apple for Ms. Macintosh, a banana for Mr. Peel, a melon for Coach Honeydew, and so on.

As the years pass by, the only one he really stays in touch with is Mrs. Cox.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three programmers in the bathroom

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to...

I got a text from my mother...

'Got a drop of syrup on my apple. It may be done for.'

I replied 'it's just some syrup - go wash it off with hot water. The apple should be fine.'

10 minutes later she texted back 'You don't know a damn thing about Macintosh, do you?'

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

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