What do computers identify as?

Binary

Our computers all went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually!

It took me like half an hour to shuffle the cards for Solitaire!

Why don't spiders need phones or computers?

They're on the web anyways.

Computers are not funny

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI

I’m getting really good at beating computers

Captcha thinks I’m not even human

A man gets a job at a computer store that sells food shaped computers.

He was fired for trying to take a byte.

What do Bad computers and Children have in common?

They're worth more if you sell their parts separately

What do old men and old computers have in common?

3.5 inch floppies.

What do air conditions and computers have in common?

They work fine until you open Windows.

What OS do Jedi run their computers on?

The DagobahSystem.

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Old computers can't compete with new ones when it comes to sex.

New ones have a lot more RAM

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The new priest decides to automatise his church

He hires a programmer to make as many systems as possible, passing most of the grunt work to computers. Donations can be done through PayPal, and credit cards are accepted for paying the tithe. Alexa buys the flowers and candles on schedule while also controlling the lights and the doors. Finally, t...

I asked my mom why computers are so smart

Mom: because they listen to their motherboards!

How big do computers like their snacks?

Byte sized

Was reading a "People Who Passed Away In 2020" article and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.

Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the...

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

Lumberjacks are bad at fixing computers

They only know how to log out.

What are Russian computers best for?

ComPutin.

Why do Americans have good computers?

Because they have no troubleshooting.

Difference between computers and woman

Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

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