A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

Hey Android guys ! Wanna hear a joke about privacy ?

You won’t get it.

The news about Android banning Huawei is sad. But I know Huawei can fix this.

If there’s a will, there’s Huawei.

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

What do you call it when the Enterprise's android science officer drives in reverse?

Data backup

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

Android group chats be like

Laughed at “Android group chats be like”

What do you call an android in a boat?

Row bot.

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Yes, but it takes a lot of ram.

Why does Data the android cost Starfleet so much money?

Because Data is enterprise hardware.

What's Morris Day's favorite version of Android?

Oh-re-Oreo.

the weather app on my android tablet tells me it's sunny outside....

.... and it's the same on my Iphone, but if i look out of my window i can totally see it's raining.
Oh my god, I think i've just proven the superiority of windows over Android and Ios.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An android phone and an iPhone meet after a year.

**iPhone**: What......the......fuck.....dude? You.....are.....infested.....with.....malware!!
**Android Phone**: Fuckers don't update me. But what happened to you? Why are speaking with a lag?
**iPhone**: Fuckers.....updated......me.

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones?

Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users

Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit.

Android lets you use "Lumos" for the flashlight, "Silencio" for the notifications...

but not "Incendio". That is a Samsung exclusive.

Apple is always 4 years behind Android phones...

... so I guess 2020 will be explosive!

The "Lumos/Nox" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However...

I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid "Avada Kedavra."

Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say "Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"

You're welcome

What do you get when you teach Android grammar?

A droid

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

How are baby androids born?

From their mother's computerus.

What's an Android developer's favourite cereal?

Boot Loops

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud)

> I hate fucking gays
>> Stop having sex with gays then.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

Why do androids go to Africa to party?

Because Botswana have fun.

2 people walk across a street.

One guy is called Cookie. He is determined to do every good deed he can do, and finish it when he starts.
The other guy is called Candy. He helps cookie with the good deeds, big or small.

Suddenly, Cookie finds a sock on the street. “ look, a sock! We need to get it back to it’s original o...

Phone troubleshooting

Recently had a phone for Christmas, a Pixel phone of which kept crashing. I tried everything, I tried to see if the protective casing was the issue, attempted to isolate the issue but to near no avail, I even sideloaded it with another version of android

Now I have found that the issue is tha...

What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common?

They both really hate Androids.

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
.

....

Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone

He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After taking a long needed break, Goldilocks decided it was time for some more breaking and entering.

She found an unlocked, unoccupied house and let herself in.

She first found an iPhone 4. "This phone is too small," she said. Then she found an iPhone 6 plus, but that phone was too big. Then she found an iPhone 6, and Goldilocks said, "doesn't anyone here own a fucking Android?"

T...

What's the best screen grabber for Windows 10?

An Android phone.

My phone started to act weird when I researched buying a new phone.

It became a Paranoid Android.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his land

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,...

Angry Wife

Someone posted this on Funny Droid (Android Application ) :

Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!

Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball ba...

Why did the man steal mushrooms from the store?

Because he had no [morels](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-att-us&hl=en-US&oe=utf-8&safe=images&q=morel+mushrooms&source=browser-suggest&qsubts=1457412200783&action=devloc).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boudreau goes huntin'

There was these two Louisiana Cajuns on the bayou.

One morning Leroy saw Boudreau in his boat floating down the bayou with a lawnmower in it. "Hey Boudreau the hell you gon do with that lawnmower?" "This here's a John Deere and I'm going deer huntin!"

Leroy shakes his head at Boudreau...

What do you call a cross dressed robot?

Android-gynous

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