I got the Grindr app mixed up with the Pizza Hut app

Either way, there’s a 10” vegetarian on the way and I’m not sure what to expect.

Calculator app

My 12-year-old daughter made this up.

She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

Why doesn't the Reddit app auto-rotate from portrait to landscape?

So you can still use it while you lay sobbing in the fetal position.

Video app

There’s a new video app for people with no parents, it’s called OrFans.

We all know the app for learning to speak another language is Duolingo but did you know

That to learn to speak in tongues, you need Cunnilingo?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear? There's this app that lets you see which of your family members would have been nazis in WWII...

It's called Facebook.

I made a dating app for marionettes, and it failed.

Everyone wanted No Strings Attached dating.

What do you call an app that delivers drugs to you, whenever you need it?

Instagram.





I just thought of this while scrolling Reddit and i just had to post it

What's a bungee jumper's least favorite app?

Discord

What is Thanos' favorite social media app?

Snapchat.

I'm building a dating app exclusively for people working in bars

...look out for BarTinder

My banking app isn't working!

I called their customer support and they said we can try deleting your cache!

I was like hell no!

Have you played the reddit apps drinking game?

You drink until the page loads. It took me three beers to make this post

I’ve developed an app with information about insects, but it keeps getting bad reviews in App Store



People say it has a lot of bugs?

Which Disney Princess is always on dating apps?

Tinderella.

Do you know which app is best fit to be used in the delivery room?

Discord!

The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store.

But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.

Who knew naming a for-profit investment app after an anti-rich hero was just marketing.

I’m astounded, and am immediately switching to one called Mother Theresa.

What's he difference between Robin Hood and Robinhood?

Robin Hood is apt to steal while Robinhood is app to steal.

Rioters now have their own dating app.

It’s called Plenty of Sheep

2 Yetis meet on a dating app

2 Yetis matched on a dating app one day. One was American, the other European. In spite of American Yeti’s peculiarities and the yawning physical gap between them, they hit it off. Having gone back and forth for a little while, American Yeti asks European Yeti for a picture. European Yeti happily ob...

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An usual conversation on Tinder.

M: Wow, you’re beautiful, so, can you send me a pic of your titties?


W: Sure, send me 20$


Sending money.


M: Oh, they’re gorgeous! Now, can you also send me a pic of your butt?


W: No problems, send another 50$


After a while.

<...

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

My son made up this joke. Knock knock

-Who's there?
-Alexa
-Alexa who?
-Sorry I don't know that one. You can always leave feedback on the Alexa app.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LONG: A shepherd and a young guy

A shepherd was watching his sheep, enjoying a nice sunny afternoon when, in a cloud of dust, a 2021 BMW x6 stops on the nearby road, the window rolls down and a young guy asks "Hey, old man, if I can guess correctly the number of animals you're watching, can I have a sheep for free?". "Sure" says th...

Bald Dating is a dating app for bald people that's completely free...

You don't have toupee.

A german made navigation app issues an update to fix an issue.

The issue was when people wanted to go to france and they were in germany, the app sent them through belgium

I'm thinking of making an app that steals from the poor and gives to the rich...

I'm gonna call it 'Robbin' the hood'

What do you call a stable female?

A mare.

(This was a clue on the Daily Crossword app today which I couldn't figure out. I thought it was cute.)

Captain Hook: arrrg I miss Vine. twas me fav'rite app

Smee: but capn! there's a new app! it aint exactly the same, but tis very similar!

Captain Hook: what's it called?

Smee: Umm

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Hitler could've been better with his paintings.

Too bad he didn't believe in mixing colours.

All my social media apps and people I know keep telling me to vote...

I’ve probably cast like 40 ballots by now, and they STILL won’t stop telling me to do it!

I keep meeting bi women on the apps

Every time I say hello they say Byeee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dating app for sailors?

Dick Dock

Just developed an app that let's me condense really long paragraphs into a couple of lines.

I've always struggled with being able to express myself in fewer words and hence had to find something that would help me So I booted up my pc and got to coding until I finally did it! I successfully created an app that reads through all my typed and creates the most optimal sentence to summarise ev...

I think there is a bug in my Tinder app, I'm not getting any matches.

So I wrote an email to Tinder's tech support, but apparently they have the same issue.

What is a trees favorite dating App?

Timber

As told by my 11 year old

Woke up this morning, my BBC app gave me 5 separate push notifications that Trump has covid

I've never seen an app so excited before

iPhones map app has major problems

iPhone map app has a major problem. The voice directed me to "turn left then bear right" .... but it was really just a cat sitting there.

A pregnant, middle-aged woman enters a phone store.

She walks to the counter, and the cashier with a smile says, "Hi! How can we help you today?"

"My phones pregnancy app has been playing up recently, and I was wondering if you could fix it."

"We'll take a look at the phone, and see what the problem is," He replies. He takes the phone i...

What do you call it when meeting up with people from dating apps?

Playing with matches.

Are there any iOS developers reading this that can help me with something?

Just kidding, I know they’re all too busy for Reddit after today’s announcement, and are struggling to update their apps for tomorrows iOS 14 release.

Why are people so surprised by reposts on this app?

It’s literally called Read-it

[Dad joke] Social Media

I hear there is a new app for the COVID conscious.

It is called FaceMask.

I never understood why Mark Zuckerberg bought Instagram for $1 billion dollars.

What an idiot. He could’ve just gotten it for free on the App Store.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

David Hughes' joke

I have this app idea, it's a pregnancy test. You piss on the phone, and if the phone is covered in piss you're not allowed to have kids.

I developed a successful chicken social network app to make more money.

I didn’t do it for the glory I did it to make hens meet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only app I want stealing my personal data is Pornhub.

Their 'recommended for you' section is always lit!

Tried to post in Shower Thoughts

Imagine a dating app for fans of Mandalorian assassins and bdsm. Could call it BobaFet.

cats

There's a new dating app for cats in Prague...

it's called Czech Meowt

Google knows!

Subject: Today's Reality


CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?


GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a ...

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

We are launching a Food App that will help you lose your weight

You'll order but we won't deliver.

Guys need your support .

I am starting my new venture, a food App that will help all of you reduce weight dramatically.

Basically it works as follows:

You order, we don't deliver!
Seeking your support as always!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found this amazing app that let's you find out which of your friends are racists, which ones are sexists and even which ones are just crazy.

It's called 'Facebook'.

Have y'all heard about this new app that lets you see ghosts?

It's called Tinder

Why can’t orphan exit out of an app

He can’t find home

This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse...

...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.

The reposts on this app are getting annoying.

It's annoying because I've reddit all before.

Who has the thickest coffee?

App developers. They like their Java GUI.

Your Mama's SO Stupid...

She tried to start a fire using the tinder app.

(I told this joke to my friend and he suggested i post it here.)

What do you call an app for an online bukkake party?

Facetime.

With this new app, you'll be able to keep track of the speed at which your pet mice move and share it online in just a matter of seconds.

Introducing: Mice Pace

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On Tinder and similar apps, girls keep asking me about my height

Are we sure these girls wanna fuck or are they basketball scouts?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As much as I liked that rectal fever thermometer app on the iPhone...

... on the iPad it's a fucking pain in the ass.

I got popular on the Vine app with a show called........

Whose Vine Is It Anyway?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theres a new social network app for wifebeaters

Twatter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a lisp went on a blind date to a heavy metal concert

Paul had been ridiculed all his life for having a lisp. As a kid, he was bullied in school. As an adult, he caught coworkers making fun of him when they thought he couldn't hear. He would even notice cashiers trying to stifle their laughter. No woman would ever go out with him, and he felt resigned ...

yo mama is so old..

her profile is on carbon dating apps

I got this new recipe app. I am having issues with the security.

I want my password to be BeefStew, but the app keeps telling me it’s not stroganoff.

What my jokes have in common with food bought from apps?

They're good but poorly delivered.

What's thanos's favourite app?

Snapchat

How many Millennials does it take to change a light bulb?

There's no app for that.

What’s Andy Bernard’s favorite app?

Reddit did di doo

What dating app do chickens use?

Tender.

my friend thought of a name for a dating app for old people

I've fallen for you and I cant get up

What do cell phones order at dinner?

Apps.

Dating apps...

Make me realize how shallow everybody else is and how boring I truly am.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple breast implants

Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated ...

There is a new dating-app especially for peadophiles.

Kinder

I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone....

I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in climate change.

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters

Wife: Apps

Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters

Wife: Teen

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...

What is a white supremacists favorite dating app?

Ancestry dot com

She was a gentle custodian of money made from dating apps

A tender tender of Tinder tender

I used a MeetUp app and attended a BDSM meetup...

but left the meetup a little blue :(

So china is making phones without Google apps now

Guess it was always my way or the huawei

*i'm so sorry, I tried*

They launched a ride share app for witches...

It's called BroomService

This mindfulness app is taking a long time to download

It’s really stressing me out...I should really meditate or something.

How did the app control all of its users?

Karma

You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees?

It's called Timber.

I was hesitant to download this app

I knew one day I might regreddit

I’d make a joke about this app...

But you’ve probably reddit before

My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead

He calls it *Nyetflix*

Area 51 encounters a Cessna.

You've all heard ofthe Air Force's ultra-high-security,
super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hau...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Those be calm and listen to rain apps are terrible....

I just put the Amazon rainforest on and I thought the fucking house was on fire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News: the creators of reddit are creating a dating app targeted to people who give up easily

It's called "fuckit"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tried out a horror themed Grindr app the other night...

It gave me the willies.

I've just invented a dating app for chickens, its not my regular job..

Its to make hens meet

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

I'm going to start an app for Gastroenterologists

And call it snapshat

If Rolex had an app on PC what would be Its file name?

Rol.exe



Sorry for the trash pun, thought about it while walking in front of rolex

What app do you get, when you download instagram a thousand times?

Instakilo

My friend showed me this awesome app where you can watch exotic creatures

Apparently it is called Tik tok

The tractor joke

There was once a man called Dan and he was obsessed with tractors. He had tractor wall paper, tractor clothes, a tractor duvet and much more.

One day his friend found a tractor convention and he thought of Dan, so he bought two tickets for the following day.

When Dan got to the conve...

Instagram is the best app

For posting things that went viral on reddit a week ago

I'm developing an app that lets you customize the look and feel of 4chan when browsing.

It's called 4skin

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