A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters

Wife: Apps

Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters

Wife: Teen

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...

So china is making phones without Google apps now

Guess it was always my way or the huawei

*i'm so sorry, I tried*

What is a white supremacists favorite dating app?

Ancestry dot com

What's the most popular dating app in Alabama?

23andMe

I was hesitant to download this app

I knew one day I might regreddit

She was a gentle custodian of money made from dating apps

A tender tender of Tinder tender

My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead

He calls it *Nyetflix*

I used a MeetUp app and attended a BDSM meetup...

but left the meetup a little blue :(

I’d make a joke about this app...

But you’ve probably reddit before

How did the app control all of its users?

Karma

I'm working on a dating app for older people.

It's called "Carbon Dating".

The best dating app for lumberjacks:

Timber

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a scheduling app for gays called?

Remndr

They launched a ride share app for witches...

It's called BroomService

I just had an idea for an app that can connect people with tourettes and similar conditions, so they can have conversations together about their experiences, it's called:

Tic Talk

(I feel comfortable making this joke. I have a tic disorder)

You know Tinder right? Well have you heard of the new app for people trying to find trees?

It's called Timber.

This mindfulness app is taking a long time to download

It’s really stressing me out...I should really meditate or something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Those be calm and listen to rain apps are terrible....

I just put the Amazon rainforest on and I thought the fucking house was on fire.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News: the creators of reddit are creating a dating app targeted to people who give up easily

It's called "fuckit"

That new face app is cool

Anti vax parents can see what their kids woudlve look liked


Inspiration Credit: @funnymanfields

What is a bungee jumper's least favourite app?

 

 


Discord.

 

What's Thanos' favourite app?

Snapchat.

I've just invented a dating app for chickens, its not my regular job..

Its to make hens meet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tried out a horror themed Grindr app the other night...

It gave me the willies.

Just got an app that tells me which one of my relatives are racist

It's called Facebook

If Rolex had an app on PC what would be Its file name?

Rol.exe



Sorry for the trash pun, thought about it while walking in front of rolex

There's a new dating app out there for pirates.

It's called Shiver Me Tindrs.

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

What’s Thanos favorite app

Snapchat

I'm developing an app that lets you customize the look and feel of 4chan when browsing.

It's called 4skin

What app do you get, when you download instagram a thousand times?

Instakilo

Here is an app idea: Tinder but with...

people that want to be in a relationship

I'm going to start an app for Gastroenterologists

And call it snapshat

After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars...

if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality

What do you call a dating app for Catholic priests?

Answer: Kinder

Instagram is the best app

For posting things that went viral on reddit a week ago

I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist.

It's called 'Facebook'

My friend showed me this awesome app where you can watch exotic creatures

Apparently it is called Tik tok

I'm thinking about starting a dating app for low IQ people.

I'm calling it OK Stupid.

I'm making an app like Tinder, but exclusively for paleontologists

I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

I created an dating app for marionettes and it failed!

They were all looking for No Strings Attached.

The Good News: I landed a job at Dreamworks thanks to the Bumblr app's networking feature

The Bad News: I'm working on the Bee Movie 2.

Have you heard about that new app, “Cinder?”

It’s great for carbon dating!


:-)

(I just thought of this joke while walking to my car. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not the first to come up with it. Apologies, if it’s been made before.)

(In case it isn’t obvious, it’s a play on the *dating* app, “Tinder.”)

OC: A girl named darling

A girl named Darling had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name.

Darling always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, after she had grown up and was married, she realized that the teasing actually made her stronger, and that having a unique name was actual...

If we start telling people that the brain is an app,

Maybe they will start using it

This Grindr App is Trash

Had it for a week now and still can't find anyone to skate with.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you the cookie clicker app?

Because you're fucking stupid and I don't understand why you exist.

Someone should make a phone app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurant you can afford

Could call it Welp

Downloaded a new app, forced to wear a Santa costume now for the next two months

Turns out I didn't read the Santa clause.

What do you call it when you use an app to pay your landscaper?

Ven-mowing

Friend: Bro, you have over 300 apps on your phone wtf?!?!?

Me: Yeah i have an appidemic...

Area 51 encounters a Cessna.

You've all heard ofthe Air Force's ultra-high-security,
super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hau...

They have launched a new marijuana app up here in Canada, but it is very annoying.

It keeps sending you kush notifications.

Han and Yoda are flying in the Millennium Falcon

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Han asks.

"Off course we are. " Yoda replies.

Happy may 4th

I finally found an app for my senior love life!!

It's called Carbon Dating <3

Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app...

called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.

Have you heard of the new titanic app?

I was excited to use it, but as soon as I plugged it into my computer it started syncing!

- My professor. No one laughed.

After installing a personal budget control app, I saw how much money I spend on beer every month. This opened my eyes. Clearly, I shouldn't do this anymore.

I deleted the app.

What’s a rooster’s favorite dating app?

Chicken Tinder

What is Thanos favourite app?

“Snap” chat

In germany after the succes of Uber and Ubereats a new app is rising under elderly folk for finding people to help in your household

They're calling it Ubermensch

The MBTA app started using a period in the track numbers... Track 4.0 instead of track 4.

Its the first time I've seen the MBTA this punctual.

What is Harry Potter’s favorite new app?

Spellcheck

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL That ‘App’ is short for ‘Apple’ because they were invented for the iphone

I also learned I make shit up for no reason

The Mom app.

I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.

Turns out, There's an app for that.

It's called "Mom, Are You OK?". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.

If you like her, you ig...

I asked my son if he saw the newspaper...

Instead he pulls out his tablet, opens the news app, and calls me old school, "tablets are the way to go nowadays' he says.

Damn fly never stood a chance

Accidentally opened the Foodora App instead of Tinder

"No restaurants currently offer pickup in your area"

I'm thinking about an app to let people rate strippers

I want to name it "Strip Advisor"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

RE-RE-RE-REMIX - So there was this professional assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet...

*This is a parody because the original is posted almost daily*

So there was this professional assassin that charged $10,000 per bullet

A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, “Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?”

“Yup”

“What if you miss?”

He lo...

Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

Girls on dating apps get bombarded with too many lame and boring messages

For them, finding the good ones is like finding a needle in a hey-stack.

I just compiled my new app, its named "Politics".

It's corrupted.

I never believed in the after life, spirits or ghosts...

Until I got on dating apps.

the weather app on my android tablet tells me it's sunny outside....

.... and it's the same on my Iphone, but if i look out of my window i can totally see it's raining.
Oh my god, I think i've just proven the superiority of windows over Android and Ios.

Apple needs to come up with a new creative naming scheme for their products...

You know what iMean?

Why did my app lose its previously large female following?

Because it went into beta. :(

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