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“Me and my fellow wheelchair users are appalled this congress voted down the wheelchair accessibility bill,” the senator exclaimed.

“We will not stand for this.”

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

A Redditor became a chemist and decided to seek his fortune making breath mints.

He made one set of mints that were saturated in caffeine. It made him a significant amount of money but people complained about being a little too agitated by them.

He followed up with a heavily alcoholic variety, which was very well received and made him millions, but which had the unfortuna...

How many r/jokes users does it take to change a light bulb?

1000, one changes the light bulb and the others will start upvoting it and copying it and having orgies

I have a question for only fans users

Why don’t you get air conditioning instead

Why do reddit users hate facebook?

Because you need to have friends to be on facebook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The dark presence of the knight in black armor terrified the patrons of the inn. And he was sulking at the bar, clearly worried as he down the pint of ale.

He towered over the others who were also in the inn's bar, his armor covered in jagged spikes that were as lethal as the man-sized swords that hung from his back. His eyes glowed blood-red and a sickening black miasma poured through the small cracks in the plate armor. He even had a large pair of ho...

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A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

Scientists have recently discovered that 3 out of 5 habitual marijuana users developed over productive saliva glands.

When asked if anything can be done, one leading scientist advised, "Yes, you can either spit, or get off the pot".

Did you hear about the two drug users who injected curry powder thinking it was heroin?

One got a dodgy Tikka and the others in a Korma.

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they are quick to retweet

I was pulled over by a cop earlier today.

“Do you know why I've pulled you over, sir?”

"No officer.”

“Well" he said "this doesn't happen very often, but I've been following you for the last ten miles or so... and your driving is exemplary! Correct road positioning, perfect observation and due regard for other road users.”
<...

What did the CEO of Reddit say to its users

[Edit] Nothing

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

Which Greek god are r/jokes users descendants of?

Poseidon. Because they Control C

The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer dark mode.

Recent polling of Redditors indicates users prefer Paul Bunyan and his animal companion to the current mascot.

Seems you prefer the blue moo in lieu of the Snoo.

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Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

What do you call friendly and intelligent Reddit users?

Bots.

Amish users of reddit, what is it like going about your day to day life without technology?

Hello?
Hello?
Anyone there?

Dear Mac users

Isn't it dark with no windows

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Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

What do you call the connection between a family of Force users?

The Force Kin.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

Most reddit users will be safe from Coronavirus.

Heath authorities say it spreads from human contact.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit is releasing its own brand of olive oil in honor of its users

It only comes in extra virgin

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PornHub now requires users to watch at LEAST 10 minutes of MILF dwarf content before accessing anything else.

That's just a bare mini-mum.

9/10 Reddit Users are Morons

I'm glad I'm the 1%

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Apple users live in basements?

Because they don't like Windows!

What do Reddit users say after bombing a jewellery store?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger.

How many StackOverflow users do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Why do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
You should instead use a flashlight.

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Welsh men and Apple users have in common?

Both are fucking sheep.

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub Announces Free Premium Access for Italian Users

During a hard situation, Italians will finally be able to come together!

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

How did the app control all of its users?

Karma

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

How many Reddit users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one to do it the first time, then countless others telling their own version of the task in a repost.

What do birthday parties and Reddit users have in common?

All anyone cares about is the cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users

Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit.

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

You can improve the average intelligence of reddit users right now.

Just delete your reddit account.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If alcoholics get whiskey dick, what do heroin users get?

Poppycock.

What is a technique used by both swordfighters and Reddit users?

Riposte

The number of Firefox users in Bikini Bottom is dwindling...

In the future everything will be Chrome.

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they’ll never walk alone.

Mark Zuckerberg is really upset that Facebook is about to be fined $5 billion by the FTC for misusing users’ personal data.

Please respect his privacy at this challenging time.

So many reddit users make this ONE mistake:

They always fall for clickbait

How many /r/Jokes users does it take to screw in a lightbulb

Six. One to actually do it, and five to complain how it's the same one they've seen before.

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

Windows 10 users won't get this.

Privacy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theres only three buisnesses that refer to their customers as users.

Software, porn, and drug dealing

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

The day after a man lost his post in new, he was greeted by two grim-faced users at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your post."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The user said: "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens...

What's the last thing that r/pcmasterrace would do to XBox/PlayStation users?

Console them

Studies have shown 10% of Reddit users unknowingly use puns incorrectly.

One in ten did.

A hotel is filled to capacity with Reddit users, what happens next?

username checks out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of marijuana, they're a stoner.

Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.

Our cocaine lovers are cokeheads.

People obsessed with meth are tweakers.

Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call...

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