UPJOKE
exploiterdrug userconsumersoftwareusageinterfaceclientpersonmortalindividualsoulsomebodysomeoneapplicationsubstance abuser

Users Jokes

Why do reddit users hate facebook?

Because you need to have friends to be on facebook.

What did the CEO of Reddit say to its users

[Edit] Nothing

How many Excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Monday January 01, 1900

Elon Announces X will charge Users $1 A Year

So Elon Musk has announced that X will charge users $1 a year. Certain people are in an uproar. What's the big deal? I'm paying my ex $898 a month.

I do apologize for the terrible joke, but Elon handed us all puns on a silver platter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

With reddit alienating a large amount of its users, they decided to rebrand.

They're changing it from Reddit to WeBluit

There’s a 12-step program for pun users.

But it dozen work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

Which Greek god are r/jokes users descendants of?

Poseidon. Because they Control C

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers?

Because they are quick to retweet

9/10 Reddit Users are Morons

I'm glad I'm the 1%

I have a question for only fans users

Why don’t you get air conditioning instead

Did you hear the shocking news about Yahoo this morning?

Apparently they still have 500 million users.

How many r/jokes users does it take to change a light bulb?

1000, one changes the light bulb and the others will start upvoting it and copying it and having orgies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of Olive Oil do Reddit users use to masturbate?

Extra Virgin

Our company is implementing a version of Microsoft Teams Telephony where users keep their microphones muted

They're calling it Teams Telepathy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Apple users live in basements?

Because they don't like Windows!

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

Why did Elon Musk rename Twitter to X?

So the remaining users could spell it.

Tik Tok is mostly just millions of users imitating each other.

They should change the name of the app to Kpy Kat.

What do you call friendly and intelligent Reddit users?

Bots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users

Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

After replacing their old C++ code with Google's new programming language, Tinder can now automatically detect its users' age

This is because it's a Carbon dating app.

Most reddit users will be safe from Coronavirus.

Heath authorities say it spreads from human contact.

What do Catholic priests have in common with reddit users?

They both *can confirm*.

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Welsh men and Apple users have in common?

Both are fucking sheep.

Some important news for electric car users. I learned today that, if you break down in an electric car, you can still use the AA.

But if you break down in a small electric car, you have to use the AAA.

Windows 10 users won't get this.

Privacy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub Announces Free Premium Access for Italian Users

During a hard situation, Italians will finally be able to come together!

Did you hear about the two drug users who injected curry powder thinking it was heroin?

One got a dodgy Tikka and the others in a Korma.

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

How did the app control all of its users?

Karma

How many /r/Jokes users does it take to screw in a lightbulb

Six. One to actually do it, and five to complain how it's the same one they've seen before.

What do Reddit users say after bombing a jewellery store?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer

bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

Scientists have recently discovered that 3 out of 5 habitual marijuana users developed over productive saliva glands.

When asked if anything can be done, one leading scientist advised, "Yes, you can either spit, or get off the pot".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why shouldn't you have sex with Linux users?

Open sores.

What do you call the connection between a family of Force users?

The Force Kin.

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they’ll never walk alone.

If Reddit users were Military Weapons...

They would be Attention-Seeking Missles.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.