Why are Internet users so selfish?

Because they're all meme meme meme

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gang of cutlery users have turned every silent K in the world into an audible K.

Those kniving bastards.

Which Greek god are r/jokes users descendants of?

Poseidon. Because they Control C

What do you call the connection between a family of Force users?

The Force Kin.

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PornHub now requires users to watch at LEAST 10 minutes of MILF dwarf content before accessing anything else.

That's just a bare mini-mum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit is releasing its own brand of olive oil in honor of its users

It only comes in extra virgin

Amish users of reddit, what is it like going about your day to day life without technology?

Hello?
Hello?
Anyone there?

Dear Mac users

Isn't it dark with no windows

Why do reddit users hate facebook?

Because you need to have friends to be on facebook.

Most reddit users will be safe from Coronavirus.

Heath authorities say it spreads from human contact.

What do Reddit users say after bombing a jewellery store?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger.

Corona User Acquisition Graph

If only my app could acquire users as fast as corona I would really be killing it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub Announces Free Premium Access for Italian Users

During a hard situation, Italians will finally be able to come together!

How many StackOverflow users do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Why do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
You should instead use a flashlight.

What do birthday parties and Reddit users have in common?

All anyone cares about is the cake.

I heard that 99.9% of Reddit users are actually stupid

Thank God I’m the 1% that isn’t

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Pornhub premium users are like jesus

They pay for our sins.

How did the app control all of its users?

Karma

The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

Did you know? (Not safe for work)

Did you know that:

1. 80% of Reddit users are more likely to click on an NSFW post than on a regular one?
2. the statistic above is not a fact and has been made up
3. the statements above are false
4. the 3 statements above are inconsistent with each other (i.e. cannot all hold...

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Why do Apple users live in basements?

Because they don't like Windows!

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they can read 30 pages of terms and conditions in just one second.

How many Reddit users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one to do it the first time, then countless others telling their own version of the task in a repost.

If the punchline was in the title.

Mobile users would be much happier.

iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

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What do Welsh men and Apple users have in common?

Both are fucking sheep.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own:

We're rooting for you!

The day after a man lost his post in new, he was greeted by two grim-faced users at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your post."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The user said: "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens...

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

Mark Zuckerberg is really upset that Facebook is about to be fined $5 billion by the FTC for misusing users’ personal data.

Please respect his privacy at this challenging time.

The number of Firefox users in Bikini Bottom is dwindling...

In the future everything will be Chrome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If alcoholics get whiskey dick, what do heroin users get?

Poppycock.

Why can't drug users do track?

cuz they always be trippin'

You can improve the average intelligence of reddit users right now.

Just delete your reddit account.

What is a technique used by both swordfighters and Reddit users?

Riposte

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how our names for recreational drug users give an idea of their drug of choice.

If they are a frequent user of marijuana, they're a stoner.

Some like to include psychedelics, and we call them hippies.

Our cocaine lovers are cokeheads.

People obsessed with meth are tweakers.

Finally some people like Bill Cosby prefer qualudes or rohypnol, and we call...

If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users

Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin?

Then new Coronavirus is spread through human to human transmission.

Guess that means Reddit won't see a decline in users.

Why are wheelchair users fans of Liverpool FC?

Because they’ll never walk alone.

Tumblr told a lot of their users to go screw themselves

Just not on their site.

What's the last thing that r/pcmasterrace would do to XBox/PlayStation users?

Console them

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Studies have shown 10% of Reddit users unknowingly use puns incorrectly.

One in ten did.

So many reddit users make this ONE mistake:

They always fall for clickbait

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a big fan of the Beatles, in particular Paul McCartney.

I made an account on the official Beatles website and made my profile picture an album of Paul McCartney throughout the years. However an admin told me I was going to be banned, I asked why and was shown the list of rules and the first was "Users are not allowed multipaul accounts."

What do iPhone users and Future Trunks have in common?

They both really hate Androids.

A hotel is filled to capacity with Reddit users, what happens next?

username checks out.

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