UPJOKE
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My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing...

Probably because it's a Dell
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Hugh Jackman films a movie in the Swiss Alps and loses his Dell laptop.

Just when he thinks it's lost forever, he is grateful to see it found, in the hands of a yodeler who tells him:

"Your Dell lay here, Hugh!"
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A dell is different than a valley. A deep dell is a dingle. This would make a rabbit in a dell...

A dingle hopper
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How do you desolder all the components in a Dell computer?

You turn it on, and wait 30 minutes.
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Last night I woke up, startled, to a female’s voice coming from my desktop. “Hello,” it said, “It’s me.”

Upon further inspection,
I realized it was just
a Dell.
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What do you call a singing desktop computer?

A Dell.
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Why does Windows 10 say "Hello"?

Because my PC is a Dell.


(please don't hurt me it's my first post on r/Jokes omg)
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Why did the Dell computer cross the road?

Because a Dell wanted to say hello from the other side.
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A retail worker was talking to a customer when they noticed some long, high pitched noises coming from the electronic section

‘Your Macbooks aren’t breaking are they?’ mused the slightly concerned customer.


The worker listened to the noise for a moment before motioning offhandedly to the speaker section.

‘Don’t worry, it’s just a Dell.’
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A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...
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How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, I am on hold.
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Which notebook hits all the right notes in music?

A Dell.
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What's a computer's favorite pop star?

A Dell
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I've just bought one of those new singing computers.

It's a Dell.
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My buddy said I need to "get out more, stop messing around with computers and find a woman", but little does he know, I'm about to date a really hot ~20 year old server.

It's a Generation 6 Dell PowerEdge 1650 that I had to turn off because it burnt my rug and my best estimate is that it was made circa 2002.
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What computer monitor sings the best?

A Dell.
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What did the computer want to name its baby?

If it's a boy, Dell. If it's a girl, Adele.
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Which laptops do Taliban use?

infiDELL
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IT dad jokes, anyone?

An old timer IT guy was asked to help one of his clients add a new printer. When he arrived on location, he jumped on the client’s computer and then asked what type of printer it was so he could find it.

The customer frowned, scratched his head, and said “I think it’s a Brother printer, that’...
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Q: What do you call a laptop that belts out power ballads?

A: A *Dell*!
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What’s the best brand of computer for playing pop music?

A Dell
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New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop

I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

Confession

A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins...

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy?"

"Yes Father, it is," the boy replied.

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can’t tell you F...
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My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups...

That's the last time I buy A Dell.
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How do you greet a friendly laptop in the mountains?

Yo Dell
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What is a restaurant for robots called?

Dell taco
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What kind of PC sings really well?

A Dell
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Did you hear about the computer that was thrown into the ocean?

It was a Dell rolling in the deep.
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Why don’t MacBooks sing?

Because you need A Dell.
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I threw my laptop into the sea last week...

It's a dell, rolling in the deep
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49 states don't know about computers.

The last state is Dell-aware.
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So I found out that my computer is really good at singing

But that makes sense
After all, it is a dell
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My computer sings „Hello“ everytime I walk through the room

It‘s a dell
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I got a new computer yesterday

All it does is sing.

I think it was a dell
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Why was the Apple Store in Wilmington so afraid of competition?

They were Dell-Aware.
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What's the saddest computer you can buy?

A Dell
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I work IT and this ladies computer would not stop playing Rolling in the Deep

Asked her what brand her computer was and she said "a Dell"
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What do you call a fat computer?

A Dell.



--
Credit where credits due. Got this off of some dude's donation on Summ1t's twitch stream:P
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A paladin and a warrior go into a mage's electronics store to buy computers.

The paladin asks for a Dell computer. The mage directs him to aisle five. The warrior asks for a Hewlett-Packard. The mage says "I'm all out of HP." The mage dies.
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