My Dear husband: I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last we...
(True story) I only use Windows XP
because I'm guaranteed not to get another Windows Update.
Bill Gates is pulled over by a police officer one night after his car is seen swerving on the highway
The police officer asks, "Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?"
Bill says, "Absolutely not, officer."
The cop says, "Can you please count backwards from 10 for me?"