I was in a bar yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really loud, so I timed my farts with the beats. After a couple songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.

It's syncing now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mate asked me why I have sex noises saved on my iPod.

I said, "It's for sound effects during sex."

He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?"

I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."

Connected my iPod, named "The Titanic" to my computer.

"The Titanic is synching..."

My son asked me, what's it like to be married?

So I deleted every song on his iPod except one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank, an aerospace engineer, purchases an old iPod and fills it with his favorite bands...

He's in his office trying to get his newly acquired gadget to work when the janitor, Joe, walks into the office and asks, "Hey man, what are you listening to?"


Frank replies, "Nothing yet! I can't get this damn thing to work! Can you help me?"


Joe decides to gives it a shot, s...

The Apple iPod says that 1 gig is enough for 250 songs.

But if I played 250 songs at a gig, the crowd would leave.

iPod Shuffle

Today, I was playing my iPod on shuffle. The song, "This is Not the End" by The Bravery came on. The next song was "This is the End" by She Wants Revenge. It was followed by "The End." by My Chemical Romance. As soon as the songs finished, the battery promptly died. I think my iPod left a suicide no...

I renamed my iPod Titantic

It's syncing much better now.

So there were a lot of celebrities at the DNC including Alicia Keys and Katy Perry. Hillary was excited because they are on her iPod.

Bill was excited because they were on his to-do list.

<<BREAKING NEWS>> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod.

Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name.

When your iPod stops working, it floats.

Because it doesn't sync.

Apple was going to make a smaller version of the ipod touch for kids,

until they realized the name iTouch Kids wasnt an acceptable name.

Apple is trying to market its new iPod to the lower demographic with a newly named device ...

... however they decided "iTouch Kids" was not a good name.

I downloaded some hymns for my ipod

New praylist.

So Apple made a spinoff of the iPod Touch...

...where you design all its features yourself. The color, storage, apps that come with it, basically everything.

However, it got banned from all Apple stores because of its name, the iTouchMyself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carrie...

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
.

....

Some puns

•    How does Moses make tea ?   Hebrews it. 


•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

   
•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. 

   
•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. 

   
•    I know a guy ...

ilove my family...

For his birthday, I gave my son an iPhone.

My daughter received an iPod for hers.

For my birthday, I was pleased to receive an iPad.

My mother was given an iMac for her birthday.

Thinking along the same lines, I got my wife an iRon. And that’s when the fight started…

My wife wants to have the baby listen to classical music while in the womb.

Would an ipod nano or shuffle be easier to get up there?

The Device Too Big To Fail

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple scraps a new product...

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented IPod after realizing that "ITouch Kids" is not a good product name.

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