Micro Jokes - 67 Hilarious Micro Jokes

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I was teased about my penis size almost every day of elementary school.

I got called names like teeny weenie, micro dong, and pickled pecker.

If it weren't for that, being home-schooled wouldn't have been so bad.

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My ex-wife tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends that I had a micro dick...

She was in for a shock, when they all disagreed.

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Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?

It describes two distinct parts of his sex life

What do computers eat for snacks?

Micro-chips

(Discovered on a Firecracker Popsicle stick)

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My ex was addicted to dick. just not mine

I guess micro-dosing just wasn't doing it for her after a while

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What is the most popular streaming service among men with a micro penis?

Peacock

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I had a call from a scammer the other day

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”>...

We do not have enough micro chips to build new cars

Is it because we used them all in the vaccines ?

What sounds does a micro cow make?

What do people in Seattle call a group of little kids dressed as ghosts for Halloween?

A micro-boo-ery!

Happy Halloween :)

I asked my friend what he thought of EA’s micro transaction policy,

he said he didn’t buy it.

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What does a waitress say after having had sex with a guy with a micro penis?

Thanks for the tip!

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

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What's the difference between a shitty job and a dirty job? (OC)

A shitty job has a micro-manager and a dirty job has Mike Rowe as the manager.

^(I'll see myself out.)

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Your dick is so small, that ...

Your dick is so small, that if you would sexual harass someone, it would be a Micro aggression.

Nintendo is releasing a micro transaction mobile platformer

Pay Per Mario

EA is Officially Getting Rid of Micro-Transactions!!

And replacing them with macro-transactions.

What's the opposite of a microwave?

A tsunami.

I'm not worried about a future where my kids are addicted to EA's micro transactions

Because there's no way I'll be paying for Verizon's internet gaming add on

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If a guy with a micro penis pays a prostitute to suck him off...

is it called a micro transaction?

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What did the guy with micro-penises for eyes say to the doctor

I dont know doc, everything just seems a little cock-eyed to me.

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I'm taking a Microsoft incel class.

So I can spread sheets by myself

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A love story

A Love Story

Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

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My girlfriend said I remind her of a technology company.

I said I must be the Apple of your eye.

She said no it’s just that your penis is micro and soft.

I was going to make a game where you play a death-defying, cross-dressing little person.

But I see you guys hate micro trans action.

When I get my vaccine do I need to do anything to keep my micro chips charged?

Or is getting a 5G signal enough?

What is a microwave's beep sound file called?

Micro.wav

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

What do you call a very small morgan freeman?

Micro morganism.

Recent mobile phone technology has linked up with micro chip brain implant technology so that when your phone rings it can immediately connect without making a ringing sound.

It just won the Nobel peace prize.

My girlfriend's nickname for me is Bill Gates...

She said it's because I've got a micro soft too.

what do you call a dwarf with erectile dysfunction?

Micro soft

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Micro waves

What is tiny and gets washed ashore?

A micro wave

A farmer buys a combine harvester

He's accidentally chops his finger off one day, inspecting a blade.

So the wife bags the finger up and takes him to the hospital. The doctor looks at it and performs micro surgery which re-attaches it like brand new.

Some weeks later the farmer somehow gets his leg chopped off. Panicki...

I ended up quitting my job cause they promoted a little person to supervisor.

I just got sick of the micro managing.

Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?

"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"

"No- wait, Dracula?"

"Yes!"

"You're vampires?"

"Yes. We have pamphlets."

"Vampires have missionaries?"

"Where else would new vampires come from?"

"I assumed you bit people."

"There are many h...

What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs?

Frank Zappa

Why are Melinda and Bill gates splitting up?

Because he is MicroSoft.

TIL that Orville Redenbacher served in the US army.

Even though he was a colonel he didn’t want to be saluted. He only required a micro-wave.

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Guinness world record attempt !

Three roommates were hanging out in the living room one day, when one of them opened an email on their phone.

"Hey guys, the Guinness book of world records is coming to town! We should go get into it somehow!"

The shortest roommate, who was only 3 feet tall says "I'm going to go see if...

During honeymoon Bill Gates wife tell him:

Now i know why your company name is MicroSoft.

Why don't pc gamers get laid

Because they're micro-soft

What do you call hummingbird on hummingbird crime?

A micro-aggression.

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My girl friend calls me bill gates when we have sex

Because I'm micro-soft.

What do you call a small gesture of acknowledgement directed towards an oven?

A micro wave.

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I sometimes wish I had a small penis.

Instead of a micro one.

MY crow

i own a pet crow . Have you seen my crow ? i bet you didn't cause its micro

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A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and ro...

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I got fired for having a tiny dick

My boss was a real micro manager

How do kitchen appliences say hello?

They give a micro-wave

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

What do you call a physicist who's really short?

A micro Newton.

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remember when jokes like this were funny... before smartphones?

A chap walks into a pub carrying two suitcases. He puts them down and orders a drink. As he pays the barman notices that he is wearing a large watch.

'That's a large watch' says the barman (see I told you!)

'This watch,' says the man, 'is the very latest in high tech gadgetry. It'll te...

How do kitchen appliances greet each other?

They micro-wave.

"Mega-" is a prefix meaning "million"....

...and "micro" is a prefix meaning "millionth".

So, a megaphone would be one trillion microphones.

What do you call a boss that's under 5 feet tall?

A micro manager

Today I had an interview for a job at Microsoft, and the recruiter asked me "Why do you think you are a good fit for our company?"

I replied: "because I too am micro and soft right now"

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What toothpaste do ants use?

MicroScope

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Two neighbourhood ladies were chatting over the fence

Suddenly, one of them says, "OMG, my husband will be home in a minute. I must rush home and make his dinner". She runs into the house and grabs the first thing she sees, a can of dog food.Sticks it in the micro-wave, heats it up and places it before him just in time for his dinner.

Next day s...

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A cut below...

My friend was telling me that he was thinking of having a vasectomy. But it was a little different. He said that the Dr. would actually install a small "micro" valve in the vas that carried the sperm. That way you could turn it off/on. I thought it was a great idea...I asked him if they used a ball ...

I saved a tiny baby raven and now he won't leave

I guess you could say he's micro

What is Computer favorite snack?

Micro chips

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

Totally going to buy a tiny pet crow for myself.

Gonna call it Micro.

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This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had.

It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis.

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Two Covid deniers die of Covid and go to heaven. God tell them they can ask anything they want and get the truth....

Two Covid deniers die of Covid and go to heaven. God tell them they can ask anything they want and get the truth

Covid Denier 1: So there was no such thing as covid, right? I died of lung cancer or something!

God: No, Covid is real, you died of covid just like the Doctors said.
...

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