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Modem Jokes

A router and a modem got married.....

They where pronounced husbandwith and WiFi

A farmer installed a modem in his barn

I guess you could say he has stable internet now

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

The internet connection at my farm was really poor, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.




The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and e...

What do you call a modem in a safe?

A secure connection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I changed the ringtone for my Ex-wife to an old modem dialup sound

Nostalgic, brings great memories but Holy Hell I don't want that 52Kbps piece of shit back in my life.

I saw two kids damaging my front lawn with a network device.

So I modem down.

Why do yards on the internet look so good?

Because they modem.

Swedish Computer Terms



|Term|Definition|
|:-|:-|
|Log On:|Makin' da vood stove hotter!!|
|Log Off:|Don't add no more vood!!|
|Monitor:|Keepin' an eye on da vood!!|
|Download:|Gettin' da vood off da truck!!|
|Mega Hertz:|Ven yer not careful gettin' da firevood!!|
|Floppy Disc:|Vat yew get from ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father found a way to make the family come closer

He just unplugs the modem, therefore we are all running in the living room, to see what the fuck is going on.

What do you call the device that controls the bells in Norte Dame?

Quasi-modem

My boyfriend and I met on the internet!

My boyfriend and I met on the internet. My mother asked him what line he used on me and my boyfriend replied, “I just used a modem.”

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to have a problem watching internet pornography...

but then I upgraded from dial-up to a cable modem.

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