UPJOKE
ipad miniiosiphoneipad 2720pandroidapple a7apple a51080pwi-fimulti-touchretina displayipad proipad airlightning

Kids today are way too expensive. Now days they want iPads and PlayStations.

They used to just get in the van if you offered them candy.

Why did the blonde throw her iPad into the ocean?

So she could get it to sync!

What do you call the opposite of an iPad mini?

A maxipad.

Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?

She wanted apple juice.

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A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn’t know which one to marry. As a test, he decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it.

The first girlfriend went out and got herself
a complete makeover, She told him,
"I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second went shopping and bought the man new golf clubs, an iPad and an 80-inch flatscreen television. She said,"I bought th...

My girlfriend is like my iPad

i don't have an iPad.

My great grandfather got me an IPad for my birthday.

My so-so grandfather got me a pair of socks.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

I just named my iPad "The Titanic"

...so when it syncs, iTunes tells me "The Titanic is syncing."

What's the differnce between Donald Trump and an iPad?

Trick question, you shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To all new iPad owners.

When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day I asked my wife to hand me the newspaper. She said, "Silly you, just use my Ipad."...

That spider had no fucking idea what hit it.

I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper.

She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad

That fly didn’t stand a chance.

iPad

Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad.

Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad.

My friend told me that paper is useless since he carries an ipad

When he asked for toilet paper i gave him his ipad

Got an IPad from my chinese friend...

Nothing beats homemade gifts.

I got a free iPad and iPhone today.

It's like... this gun is magic!!!

Newspaper and IPAD

I told my girlfriend to get me a newspaper. "Don't be silly", she replied. "Borrow my iPad." .... That spider didn't knew what f***ing hit it.

AN old man asks to borrow his son's newspaper

The son points out that this is the 21st century, and nobody wastes money on newspapers anymore. He lends his dad his iPad instead.

That spider never knew what hit him.

Why don’t they have iPads in Russia

Because they only have wePads

13 blackberries and 5 iPads walk into a bar...

They leave hammered

Apple is moving its production facilities from China to Thailand.

Say hello to iPad Thai.

We had a power outage today...

...and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my phone battery was flat and I couldn't charge it.To top it off it was snowing outside. So I couldn't play golf and I couldn't fish. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and t...

I was thinking of buying the black iPad mini..

Apparently, it runs faster.

Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his Ipad to comfort him

I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain.

But only in flash.

You get what you paid for

So a little girl is walking on the sidewalk, a car stops and a man says "come in the car, I'll give you candy" the girl says " no, I'll walk"...5 min. later the same car stops again and the man says "I'll take you home, I'll give you a whole bag of chocolate" the girl says "no, I'll just walk home"...

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
.

....

What do you call it when an Apple fan is watching a 90s movie on a tablet about a dog that plays basketball on their wireless headphones?

They're watching Air Bud on their iPad through their Air Pods earbuds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a little person walking to a moving van carrying a flatscreen and asked him if I could help him with his tv.

He said "fuck you man, this is my ipad!" What a jerk.

From my 8 year old...

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an IPad? A pineapple.

Don't ban me please.

I have Apple appliances in every room of my home.

In addition everyone in my household owns an iPhone, iPad or both. We are pretty diligent about keeping all of the devices synchronized with each other. All, except for some reason, the kitchen.

I guess you could say, everything but the kitchen’s synch’d.

Why do kids get excited for Santa and not Jesus on his birthday?

Santa brings ipads, Jesus brings armageddon. Seems simple.

I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts....

So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac.

How to name your children

One day mum was sitting in the kitchen reading on hear iPad when her eldest child came in and stood next to her. With a quizzical look on her face she asked "Mum, why am I called 'Feather'?"
"Because a feather fell on your head when you were born, my darling", mom replied.
After having heard ...

A normal day at the Apple store

Me: *Walks into an Apple store.*

Apple employee: Hi, what would you like today?

Me: I got $1000 to buy anything I want.

AE: Then our iPhone XS will be perfect! You can have the power of a computer right in your pocket. You can call, text, browse, play games, and so much more!...

Grandma's Password

My 100 year old grandma asked me to set up a security camera, so she could see who was stealing her clothes at her assisted living facility, so I brought over a wireless camera and started to install an app on her IPAD for monitoring.

I needed her Apple ID to download the app, so I asked her ...

A geek dies and goes to heaven.

After spending a few days there, he realizes there are a lot of people he wants to talk to, and a lot of questions he wants to ask them. He walks up to an angel and asks, "So how come we don't have iPads up here? It would be really nice to have an iPad; that way I could jot down a note about somethi...

Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store....

and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows.

It's that time of the month for robots

iPads

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was walking into Best Buy...

When I saw a dwarf walking out carrying a flat screen TV. I asked him, "Are you going to be able to carry that TV by yourself?" He screams back, " Fuck you! It's an iPad!"

My buddy was bragging about his Airpods...

He found it amazing that they seamlessly connect from his iPhone to his iPad when he changes devices. I told him that my Jabra does a pretty good job, but it doesn't always get it right because it's connecting to Android, Windows, and iOS devices so it's not an apples to Apples comparison.

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