The 72+ Best Console Jokes

What gaming console does a Christian kid play?

PrayStation.

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

What's the police's favorite gaming console?

WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U

Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?

Too many frames.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you say to console a grammar nazi?

"Their, they're"

So my brother just broke up with his game console….

She’s now his X-Box!

(Stolen from my band teacher) I broke up with my console recently,

It’s now my ex-box. It wasn’t anything personal I just wanted a switch.

What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.

My wife says I'm obsessed with my games console

I personally think that's a load of PS.

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

What's a chickens favourite games console?

Eggs-box

I couldn't help myself- before I knew what was happening, I found myself bragging about getting the new Nintendo console in 2006.

It was a Wii-flex.

What console does a mute chicken have?

Ex-Bawks

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

What is a Cat's favorite Video Game Console?

ps5ps5ps5

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My girlfriend said I have to console her.

That Xbox didn't fit to her ass.

A young couple was getting ready to give birth to their first child,

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother....

There isn't much difference between a game console and a horsemeat packing plant

One is a Sony Playstation, the other a Pony Slaystation.

My cat's favourite handheld console is the PSP

I only have to mention it a few times, and he comes running

my daughter made this gem up: what is the most popular console with the vikings?

the axe-box

What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...

What did the dog say to console his owner upon learning that his wife left him?

"Sorry buddy, that's

...RUFF!"

I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic

It’s called the Plaguestation 5

Have you heard that PlayStation are releasing a console for cats?

It's called the PSpspspspspsps

On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console?

Wednesday.

How did Scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend?

GET OVER HER!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver’s license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk.
...

What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U.

Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D

When the young husband reached home from the office he found his wife in tears.

"Oh, John," she sobbed on his shoulder. "I had baked a lovely cake and put it out on the back porch for the frosting to dry and the dog ate it!"

"Well, don't cry about it, sweetheart," he consoled, patting the pretty flushed cheek. "I know a man who will give us another dog."

...

My parents didn't have much money when I was young. One Christmas my mates all got new consoles but I just got a bat and ball.

To be fair the ball was alright. The bat was useless though - it just hung upside in my wardrobe all day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gamer walks into a bar...

...and asks the barkeep "you got a console to play on?" And the barkeep says "yeah, but only have one game for it." The gamer shrugs, orders a cider and sits down to play.

While he's playing another guy walks in and says "hey, that guy with the cider is playing my game!" And the barkeep asks...

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

What's it called when a gaming console can fight something in front of and behind it?

Backwards combat ability

I played with my childhood console this morning.

It was a good Wiiunion.

One evening when I was playing on my console..

One evening when I was playing on my console I noticed my girlfriend, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, looking all gloomy and sad.

Naturally I asked her what was wrong but she didn't answer.

So I turned of my console and she goes "why did you stop ?". I told her there's s...

Politicians go visit a school

High ranking politicians visit a school. The top one goes over the expenses and decides to make adjustments to cut costs.
"The lunch portions are too big. Cut them in half. Internet connection too fast. Too many computers."

After that, they go to a preschool. Again, the expenses are too ...

When I was in 2nd grade, my dog Brick was hit by a car and killed, and my mom tried to console me. She said, "He's probably already in Heaven with God."

I said, "Why would God want a dead dog?"

Old and defeated, the powerlifter went home hoping to be consoled by his wife, only to find she left him too, leaving only a note:

"You couldn't get it up."

Which games console do religious women like to play on?

The nun-tendo wii

What do Michael Jackson and a game console have in common?

Both are made of plastic and little boys turn them on

My girlfriend was upset and kept asking me to console her.

So I hit her with my Xbox.

Do you know how PC gamers always can beat console players if they play against each other?

They press the Win-key.

What console do frenchmen play on?

Wii

Yes, I know this is a dad joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to console my friend who loved homophones

Their there they’re

My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.

I asked my French friend if he owned a videogame console

He replied: “Wii”

Grandma and Grandpa are trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, has died.

“You know,” Grandma said, “it’s not so bad. Skipper’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie stops crying and asks, “What would God want with a dead dog?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have an idea for a retro console. The NES but with a turbo button

I call it: "NES quick"

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.

Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.

My friend recently was recently thinking about going from from PC gaming to Console gaming. I told him it was time for the Switch

No pun Nintendo

What do you call a gaming console that used to be yours?

An ex box

Which gaming console is preferred by most fruits?

The kiwii.

My friend invented a machine that can take a disc out of a console, then put a new one in

It's a game changer

A pastor is trying to console a widower

"Tell me pastor is my wife going to be in heaven?" asks the concerned husband.

"Oh yes I'd say see most definitely is. She was always so close to the church and a devout Christian." says the pastor enthusiastically

"Well in that case tell me how do I go to hell?"

I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed suicide.

I said, “Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

Emails from world leaders are streaming in to Hillary Clinton to console her

[Deleted]

Why did the game console leave her husband?

He was trying to controller

Why do so many conservatives own game consoles?

Because they hate PC culture.

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720

The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console

The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.

Why were the console wars started?

Because neither side could find a clear resolution

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was trying to console a friend

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella p...

I invented a robot to remove the cartridge from my gaming console and replace it with another.

It was a game changer!

Why is Wii the most adult console?

Because it has a sensor bar.

What is the Doctor from Doctor Who's preferred console?

_Wiiii U_

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

_Wiiii U_, Wii-ii-ii U…

I asked for a new gaming console for Christmas, instead I got some torn up cardboard, I asked why

"I thought you asked for an ex-box?"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.