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Console Jokes

What gaming console does a Christian kid play?

PrayStation.
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I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box

Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch
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Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.
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What's the police's favorite gaming console?

WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U
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Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?

Too many frames.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you say to console a grammar nazi?

"Their, they're"

So my brother just broke up with his game console….

She’s now his X-Box!
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Did you hear about the old Nintendo console which burned down a house?

Turns out Wii *did* start the fire.
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My wife says I'm obsessed with my games console

I personally think that's a load of PS.
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My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
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What's a chickens favourite games console?

Eggs-box
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My cat's favourite handheld console is the PSP

I only have to mention it a few times, and he comes running
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A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...
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What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.
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What is a Cat's favorite Video Game Console?

ps5ps5ps5
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My girlfriend said I have to console her.

That Xbox didn't fit to her ass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver’s license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk.
...

When the young husband reached home from the office he found his wife in tears.

"Oh, John," she sobbed on his shoulder. "I had baked a lovely cake and put it out on the back porch for the frosting to dry and the dog ate it!"

"Well, don't cry about it, sweetheart," he consoled, patting the pretty flushed cheek. "I know a man who will give us another dog."


...
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What console does a mute chicken have?

Ex-Bawks
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What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui
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What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation
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What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U.

Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D
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What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.
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A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...
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I played with my childhood console this morning.

It was a good Wiiunion.
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I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund
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What console do frenchmen play on?

Wii



Yes, I know this is a dad joke.
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One evening when I was playing on my console..

One evening when I was playing on my console I noticed my girlfriend, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, looking all gloomy and sad.

Naturally I asked her what was wrong but she didn't answer.

So I turned of my console and she goes "why did you stop ?". I told her there's s...
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I couldn't help myself- before I knew what was happening, I found myself bragging about getting the new Nintendo console in 2006.

It was a Wii-flex.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to console my friend who loved homophones

Their there they’re

What's the chicken's favourite gaming console?

The eggs' box.
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Have you heard that PlayStation are releasing a console for cats?

It's called the PSpspspspspsps
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I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic

It’s called the Plaguestation 5
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How did Scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend?

GET OVER HER!!
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my daughter made this gem up: what is the most popular console with the vikings?

the axe-box
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Politicians go visit a school

High ranking politicians visit a school. The top one goes over the expenses and decides to make adjustments to cut costs.
"The lunch portions are too big. Cut them in half. Internet connection too fast. Too many computers."

After that, they go to a preschool. Again, the expenses are too ...
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Which games console do religious women like to play on?

The nun-tendo wii
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Which gaming console is preferred by most fruits?

The kiwii.
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What do Michael Jackson and a game console have in common?

Both are made of plastic and little boys turn them on
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My girlfriend was upset and kept asking me to console her.

So I hit her with my Xbox.
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A pastor is trying to console a widower

"Tell me pastor is my wife going to be in heaven?" asks the concerned husband.

"Oh yes I'd say see most definitely is. She was always so close to the church and a devout Christian." says the pastor enthusiastically

"Well in that case tell me how do I go to hell?"
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I asked my French friend if he owned a videogame console

He replied: “Wii”
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Why were the console wars started?

Because neither side could find a clear resolution
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What did the dog say to console his owner upon learning that his wife left him?

"Sorry buddy, that's

...RUFF!"
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On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console?

Wednesday.
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What's it called when a gaming console can fight something in front of and behind it?

Backwards combat ability
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What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720
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Why do so many conservatives own game consoles?

Because they hate PC culture.
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The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console

The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.
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Grandma and Grandpa are trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, has died.

“You know,” Grandma said, “it’s not so bad. Skipper’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie stops crying and asks, “What would God want with a dead dog?”
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gamer walks into a bar...

...and asks the barkeep "you got a console to play on?" And the barkeep says "yeah, but only have one game for it." The gamer shrugs, orders a cider and sits down to play.

While he's playing another guy walks in and says "hey, that guy with the cider is playing my game!" And the barkeep asks...

Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.

Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.
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Why did the game console leave her husband?

He was trying to controller
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Why is Wii the most adult console?

Because it has a sensor bar.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was trying to console a friend

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella p...

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I have an idea for a retro console. The NES but with a turbo button

I call it: "NES quick"

What is the Doctor from Doctor Who's preferred console?

_Wiiii U_

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

_Wiiii U_, Wii-ii-ii U…
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Do you know how PC gamers always can beat console players if they play against each other?

They press the Win-key.
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A soap bar was trying to console another soap bar

Soap1- *crying uncontrollably*

Soap2- Stop crying, I know you're acting

Soap1- it's the glycerin
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A console gamer walks into a bar...

...only to buy a free drink for 60$

To anyone wondering this joke is not made by me but i just had to share it. Credit goes to /u/Unbiased_Bob
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I would have told that joke about Console Games....

but that wasn't PC.
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I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed suicide.

I said, “Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.”
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A young couple was getting ready to give birth to their first child,

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother....
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What game console do Latinos use most?

XBOX JUAN
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Emails from world leaders are streaming in to Hillary Clinton to console her

[Deleted]
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What is the difference between a game console and a butchery?

One is a Sony Playstation and the other is a pony slaystation.
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My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.
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