I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box

Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch

What gaming console does a Christian kid play?

PrayStation.

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What do you say to console a grammar nazi?

"Their, they're"

My cat's favourite handheld console is the PSP

I only have to mention it a few times, and he comes running

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...

What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation

What console does a mute chicken have?

Ex-Bawks

What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete?

People Switch.

my daughter made this gem up: what is the most popular console with the vikings?

the axe-box

What is an ambulance's favorite game console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

My parents didn't have much money when I was young. One Christmas my mates all got new consoles but I just got a bat and ball.

To be fair the ball was alright. The bat was useless though - it just hung upside in my wardrobe all day.

Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?

Too many frames.

Have you heard that PlayStation are releasing a console for cats?

It's called the PSpspspspspsps

I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic

It’s called the Plaguestation 5

What's it called when a gaming console can fight something in front of and behind it?

Backwards combat ability

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the other side.

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

I took my daughter to my office for, "Bring your kid to work day". BIG MISTAKE!

After meeting everyone she started getting cranky and began to cry. As everyone gathered around to try to console her, she looked at me and in a loud voice complained, "Where are all the clowns you tell me & mommy you work with everyday?"

On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console?

Wednesday.

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Inebriated Indecency

(Sorry for mobile formatting)
Betty and Barry, a middle-aged couple, went out late one hot Friday night to grab dinner. After they had finished their meal, they sat with drinks and enjoyed dessert. Barry excused himself to the restroom and Betty sat there listening and observed the other patrons ...

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After enduring it for over a week, a man goes to the doctor with intense, agonizing, shooting pains from his balls to his kidneys.

"Doc," he says "you just gotta help, the pain literally takes me to the floor, and I can't breath because of it either"

The doctor checks him over, and orders a series of tests, finally prescribing strong painkillers until their next appointment the following week.

"Im sorry," says the...

What’s a French persons favourite gaming console?

A Nintendo Oui

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Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

A woman has just given birth to her child.

The doctor holds the newborn child at both feet, upside down, then slams it three times on the wall. The mother is shocked! The doctor consoles: «April fools! Was already dead!»

I played with my childhood console this morning.

It was a good Wiiunion.

One evening when I was playing on my console..

One evening when I was playing on my console I noticed my girlfriend, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, looking all gloomy and sad.

Naturally I asked her what was wrong but she didn't answer.

So I turned of my console and she goes "why did you stop ?". I told her there's s...

I saw a French footballer playing on my Nintendo Console several years ago...

It was Thierry on Wii!

What’s a cats favourite console

The pspspspspspspsps4

A bus full of housewives went to a picnic but fell into a river and everyone on board dies.

All the husbands cried for almost a week but a guy cried over three weeks. One of them consoles him and asked," Do you miss your wife so much." He replies,"No, my wife missed the bus."

My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.

When I was in 2nd grade, my dog Brick was hit by a car and killed, and my mom tried to console me. She said, "He's probably already in Heaven with God."

I said, "Why would God want a dead dog?"

Grandma and Grandpa are trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, has died.

“You know,” Grandma said, “it’s not so bad. Skipper’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie stops crying and asks, “What would God want with a dead dog?”

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

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I have an idea for a retro console. The NES but with a turbo button

I call it: "NES quick"

Which games console do religious women like to play on?

The nun-tendo wii

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

What do Michael Jackson and a game console have in common?

Both are made of plastic and little boys turn them on

Do you know how PC gamers always can beat console players if they play against each other?

They press the Win-key.

What console do frenchmen play on?

Wii



Yes, I know this is a dad joke.

I asked my French friend if he owned a videogame console

He replied: “Wii”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to console my friend who loved homophones

Their there they’re

How did Scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend?

GET OVER HER!!

My friend recently was recently thinking about going from from PC gaming to Console gaming. I told him it was time for the Switch

No pun Nintendo

My friend can’t decide what video game system to get for Christmas ...

... Nobody can console him.

My girlfriend was upset and kept asking me to console her.

So I hit her with my Xbox.

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U.

Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry and Harriet where reminiscing about their 25yr marriage on their anniversary.

Suddenly Henry breaks down and begins sobbing uncontrollably. Shocked to see her husband showing such emotion she tries to console him.

"Talk to me Sweetheart. What's wrong?"

"Well, remember that day your Pa caught us in the barn having sex?"

"Oh my yes!"

"Remember what h...

Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.

Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.

Which gaming console is preferred by most fruits?

The kiwii.

Why do so many conservatives own game consoles?

Because they hate PC culture.

A pastor is trying to console a widower

"Tell me pastor is my wife going to be in heaven?" asks the concerned husband.

"Oh yes I'd say see most definitely is. She was always so close to the church and a devout Christian." says the pastor enthusiastically

"Well in that case tell me how do I go to hell?"

What's the chicken's favourite gaming console?

The eggs' box.

I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed suicide.

I said, “Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.”

I saw a 5 legged woman crying and I asked her why

She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said “at least your knickers fit like a glove”

Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.

But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.

Man comes home early from work on a Thursday and finds his wife in bed with his friend.

He shoots em both dead and ends up in jail. While in jail his best friend comes to visit him and console him. His friend tells him:

"Damn Fred its a wonderful thing you caught this mf in bed with you're wife"

Fred responds "How can you say that man 2 people are dead and im in jail"...

The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console

The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.

My friend invented a machine that can take a disc out of a console, then put a new one in

It's a game changer

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Amanda and Bob are walking through the village on a hot day, both very thirsty.

They both see their friend Carl walking to his house with a bucket full of water in his hands. Bob asks him "Carl, where'd you get all that water you're carrying?" to which Carl responds "Oh, I went down to the... uhh... the hole in the plaza that goes down into the earth and there's water at the bo...

I didn’t get the Xbox Series X I wanted for my birthday.

I need someone to console me.

Why were the console wars started?

Because neither side could find a clear resolution

My wife bought me a Nintendo switch for Christmas.

In a few years I'll have enough parts to build a whole console.

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

Why did the game console leave her husband?

He was trying to controller

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

I invented a robot to remove the cartridge from my gaming console and replace it with another.

It was a game changer!

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720

What is the difference between a game console and a butchery?

One is a Sony Playstation and the other is a pony slaystation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gamer walks into a bar...

...and asks the barkeep "you got a console to play on?" And the barkeep says "yeah, but only have one game for it." The gamer shrugs, orders a cider and sits down to play.

While he's playing another guy walks in and says "hey, that guy with the cider is playing my game!" And the barkeep asks...

Why couldn't the PC gamer stop crying?

He refused to be consoled.

A soap bar was trying to console another soap bar

Soap1- *crying uncontrollably*

Soap2- Stop crying, I know you're acting

Soap1- it's the glycerin

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A guy was trying to console a friend

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella p...

What is the Doctor from Doctor Who's preferred console?

_Wiiii U_

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum

_Wiiii U_, Wii-ii-ii U…

I was so sad I could not get to the store in time to get myself either an Xbox or a PS5.

Nobody could console me.

A couple sees a man sobbing on his knees at a cemetery.

The man is yelling out "why did you have to die?", "I cannot live like this!"

The couple come over to console him, and notice the tombstone is of someone of similar age as the distraught man.
"Sir, who was this?" Asks the woman, "was it your brother? Your friend?"

The man looks up...

I asked for a new gaming console for Christmas, instead I got some torn up cardboard, I asked why

"I thought you asked for an ex-box?"

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