UPJOKE
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Parts Jokes

Johnny and Susie were playing naked, wondering why they have different “parts”

When Johnny got home he asked his mother why he had a stick and Susie had a hole. Johnny’s mother said “oh son, you have a Ferrari, and Susie has a garage; the time will come and you’ll park your Ferrari in her garage”

When Susie got home she asked her father why she had a hole and Johnny had...

My friend started selling his own body parts to make money

First it was just one of his fingers to pay some bills off. When he realised how much he could make he sold even more body parts. Sitting in his mansion, rich enough to afford not to work, he asked me what I thought about him selling even more body parts.

I told him, I think you should quit w...

Do you know anyone selling body parts?

I'd like to buy a bowel.

My wife left me after I've had front parts of my feet sawn off.

Turns out she's lack toes intolerant.

The Beastie Boys have released a 5 part documentary! Parts A through D are freely available to download, but

You have to fight for your right to Part E!

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The Most Important Body Part

One day the different parts of the body were having an
argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most
important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you
know where we are, so I'm the m...

My grandad always said "there are no small parts..."

Lovely man, terrible horologist.

I went into the Auto Parts store

I said:

"I want a new gas cap for my AMC Gremlin."

The owner said:

"Sounds like a fair trade."

How does Dr. Frankenstein keep track of his body parts?

He uses an organ-izer.

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If you have one big shit, and divide it into 3 equal parts and throw 2 of them away. What are you left with?

One turd

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A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because they have teeth...

A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because "They have teeth!" One day when he's older he starts seeing a lovely girl who he begins to fall in love with. Things are going great, but she starts to feel frustrated at his lack of sexual progression with her. F...

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…

The first man married a Greek woman. He told her that she was to do the dishes and clean the house. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes washed and put away…

The second man married a Thai woman. He gave his wife orders that she was to...

I got invited to test a new car made entirely of spare computer parts

It was a hard drive

You have two parts of the brain

In the left side, there’s nothing right
And in the right side , there’s nothing left

My friend asked me if there were famous NSFW parts of historical eras

I said that there weren’t many famous cases, except for the time Robespierre got head from King Louis XVI in front of all of Paris.

Putin's inner circle is trying to hide the news that the war isn't going well in parts of Ukraine from him...

They have a very strict Donetsk-don't-tell policy.

What Are The Three Parts Of A Wood-Burning Stove?

Lifter, legs, and poker.

What do the “bad parts” of American history and common sense have in common?

They are being wiped from existence.

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A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

I made a concoction with half part laxatives and 4 parts alphabet soup...

I call it Letter Rip.

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Three men with tiny body parts meet up...

One has tiny hands, one has tiny feet, and one has a tiny penis. They all think theirs are the tiniest in the world. So they go to Guinness World Records to make it official.
The first guy walks in, and comes out with a plaque in his hand and a big smile on his face, and says, “I have the tinies...

Different body parts rate each other

The Brain to the Liver: “You’re a 6.”

The Spleen to the Colon: “You’re a 7.”

The Urethra to the Bladder: “Urinate.”

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A man went duck hunting and a gust of wind blew, his shotgun fell over and discharged, shooting him in his private parts.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK.

The damage was partly to your groin. There was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the birdshot...

What body parts always lose?

Da' feet.

(I heard this one on the radio on the way to work)

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A lesson about the parts of the body

One day the parts of the body were arguing about who should be in charge.

The legs said, “Well I carry you all everywhere so I should be in charge!”

The arms said, “Well I get all the stuff for the body so I should be in charge!”

The lungs said, “Well I get all the oxygen for th...

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.”

“Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

Seems my girlfriend's moonlighting as a parts model

I overheard her on the phone to her friend, boasting about how much she was earning doing hand and foot jobs.

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What do you call a male bee's private parts?

BEEZ NUTS

What recipe uses chicken and elephant parts?

Chicken Dumbo

my friend told me I always focus on the least exciting parts while telling a story

I was so surprised by his words I almost took a wrong turn and screwed up our escape from the police

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Body parts were arguing, about who should rule the organism.

I should rule! Said the brain. I tell you all how to work!

No! I should! Said heart. I pump blood, so you all can live and have nutrients!

Bullshit! Said kidneys. We filter toxic things out of the blood! Without us you all would get poisoned!

What? Said stomach. I digest the foo...

When wearing a bikini, women reveals 96% of their body.

But the men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

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A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar of 100$ bills on the counter

He asks the bartender "Hey, what's with the jar?"

The bartender replies "Well, we have a running challenge here in the bar. It has three parts. If you look at the end there, you'll see Big Jim. Big Jim is the baddest motherfucker in town. You have to knock Big Jim out."

The guy looks d...

I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.

Maybe I should quit while I’m a head

What are ghost’s favorite body parts

Boooobs and Booooty!!!!

I took my mannequin to the shop to have some parts replaced...

They charged me an arm and a leg!

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

What weighs 10 tons, consumes 20 liters of diesel per hour and splits apples into three parts?

A Soviet apple quartering machine.

Annoyed at my constant reminders to stop eating her own body parts,

my wife threw up her hands in frustration.

Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days.

The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see if they can still perform them.

"It's been almost 4000 years since I did this one" Moses says, then raises his arms. The water parts, revealing the floor of the lake.

Jesus claps His hands and says "Good one! It's only been abo...

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Parts of the body having a debate.

One day all the body parts are gathered together to discuss who amongst them should be the leader.

The brain steps forward and says "I should be the leader for i am the cleverest. I keep everyone organized and find solutions to problems."

Everyone is quite impressed until the heart st...

Did you hear about the road made of body parts?

They call it the Organ Trail

Passed an auto parts store today and saw a sign that read, “Dead batteries, $1”

I thought, those should be free of charge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a doctor who goes around my neighbourhood handing out body parts...

...he gives me the willies.

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