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My evening wouldn’t normally start out with an erection...

..but my morning wood.

I'm so tired of rascist jokes. They all start out the same.

With a look over your shoulder.

If you think about it we all start out Canadian

Drinking milk from bags.

A teacher asked the children in her 3rd-year class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny answered first. "I want to start out as a S.A.S. officer, go to the Middle East and kill loads of militant Muslims, return as a national hero, then become a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest nymphomaniac tart, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana...

Motherhood is like a fairytale...

... _*but in reverse*_

You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

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