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Peen Jokes

Finally mustered up the confidence to measure my peen

Thought it was 9 inches until I realized I was measuring with the wrong end of the ruler.

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Intestinal worm-- long. Very long.

Man has horrible abdominal pain and weight loss. The wife finally convinces him to see a doctor.
He's diagnosed with an intestinal worm and is given treatments but it doesn't work. He sees several more doctors who all diagnose the same thing, an intestinal worm, but none of the treatments are w...

If you’re an Australian before you walk into the toilet, and an American when you leave. What are you when you’re in there?

Eur’a’peen.

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customer: excuse me where can i find your selection of dildos?

clerk: in the peen aisle

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Peter Piker

When Peter Piker peeked at Penny,

And peeped her perfect pooper

His peepers paused and then his jaw

Plopped down into a stupor



But he perked up and pressed his luck;

Professed he pined to pipe her

He self-composed and then proposed

While poin...

A luxury cruise liner is about to leave port

when the engine breaks down. Every mechanic on staff tries everything they can think of to get it running, but no luck. Desperate, the captain begins asking passengers if there's any mechanics on board. A retired old salt steps forward and says "I have 50 years experience as a navy mechanic, mayb...

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John and Mike, both of whom had harelips, hadn't seen each other for 10 years since high school. They happen to run into each other on the street, but John no longer has a harelip.

Mike cries "Yohn! Iss peen so yong thinth I theen you! Put tell me whad' happen wiss your harelip?" John says, "It's amazing isn't it? I don't know why it happened, but one night my wife gave me oral sex, and when I woke up the next day it was all healed. Promise me you'll try the same thing and see...

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A hunter kills a bear

A hunter kills a bear. He goes to check what he killed and the dad of that bear comes behind him and taps him on his shoulder. Bear says "what you've done isn't very nice is it?" bear gives him 2 options "i either eat you or fuck you in the ass". The hunter thinks and goes with the second option. ...

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