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Constituent Jokes

"I'll do whatever I can for my constituents"

A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.


"We have two big needs," said the village headman. "First, we have a hospital but no doctor."


The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and t...

Greg Abbott and Joe Biden are having a meeting when suddenly a genie appears

"OK, look, here's how it's going to go. I can only grant three wishes, so one of you will get two and the other will only get one. And since you're already men of power and means, you have to choose wishes that will serve your constituents."

Abbott immediately screams that he wants the two...

Did you hear about the honest, trustworthy politician that recently had his constituents best interests in mind?

Me neither.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Crafty Bastard

A man find a lantern lying on the Beach, he rubs it a Genie pops out and says "I can grant you one wish"

The man says "I want to live forever"

Genie replies "we can't grant that wish"

The man's says "I want to live until every politician on the planet, does what's in their const...

A horse walks into a bar.

The horse says "ow".





The barman shoots him in the head and sells his constituent parts to Tesco for beef mince.

Hillary Meets with Satan

Hillary was finishing up a day on the campaign trail when the Devil suddenly appeared in her and made her an offer...

"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Online Biology Class

I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are.

Turns out, "black people" is NOT a good answer.

One day, some U.S. senators were discussing how best...

...to protect their constituents from predation by big businesses.

A group of Engineers are in a bar and the conversation turns to religion,...

The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. Only the greatest ...

GOP Lemonade Stand

A Republican senator has set up a lemonade stand selling lemonade for a dollar to raise money for his campaign and remind his constituents of “the good old days”. It’s a big success, as many parents and grandparents take their children and grandchildren to show them how they used to make money back ...

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