Parking Space Jokes

“Lord”, he prays, ”I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.”

The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, “Actually never mind, I’ve found one.”

An Irishman is trying to find a parking space outside his local pub on a busy evening, but cannot find a single one.

He looks skyward and says, "Lord, if you grant me this space, I'll come to Church every Sunday like a good Catholic should."

Low and behold, a space opens up right in fr... read more

How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

And, starting to get desperate, he prays to God. "Oh lord, deliver unto me a parking space, and I swear devoutly to give up all my sinful vices, and go to church weekly."

The clouds part and a ray of sun shines down on the only empty parking space. Overjoyed, the man continues.

"Neverm... read more

Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one

Guy who’s car got hit says “even I’m better than you at pulling out, and I got 3 kids!”

Everywhere he looks, it seems as if every single space has been taken. Though never much of a church goer, the man looks up to the sky and says, "God, if you give me a parking space, I promise I'll stop sinning and go to church." Suddenly, a parking space opens up right in front of him.

"Nev... read more

Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other.


At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


One asks, "... read more

It changed a whole lot.

and he was already missing the first inning, so he prayed to God and said "If you find a parking space for me I promise I'll never miss church again." Just then a car pulled out of a space right in front of him, and the guy said "Never mind, I just found one."

A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Mir... read more

One company owner asked the other- Tell me Bill, How come your employees are always on time in the morning?

Bill- Easy 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.

All the best ones are taken so sometimes you have to stick it in a disabled one.

And once you choose one you always see a better one.


(Edit) spelling

Excellent, now I just need to move out my bed, fridge and shower.

They're officially labeled as Cowasockies.

Team: Yeah.

Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?

Team: Parking!?

He is driving for 30 minutes looking for a place to park his car. Desperately, he looks up and pray to god: "God if you get me a parking space, i will go religious, never drink, lie or swear and will help people from now on".
As he finishes that - he sees a huge parking space. He lifts his head u... read more

A lot.

She ought to go on a diet.

"You're two shellfish."

He sees a spot near the front of the store, but another car starts pulling into it. The young teen decides he will pull into it first since he has a fast car.

As he steps out of the car, the old man in the other car gets out and says "Hey, I was parking in that spot, why did you pull in to... read more

After a lot of effort of going round and round he couldn't find an empty space so he started praying, please God help me find a parking space, I will go to church everyday for the rest of my life and would even give half of my life savings to charity..

Suddenly he sees a car pulling out of a ... read more

... He asked the man "What happened to you?"

The man replied "My wife and I were walking down the street and found a parking space. She went to buy a car while I hold the space."

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c... read more

The guy (lets call him John) has been dreaming about being the greatest lawyer in the state for years, and has spent the past half a decade working super hard at law school to achieve this goal.

One day, he gets an interview for a highly successful law firm called "Anderson and Nelson At Law"... read more

Your child will always find a parking space."

So Patty O'Mally is running late to an extremely important meeting in downtown Dublin. He has been driving around and around for blocks and can not find a parking space. He is feeling panicky and anxious. Finally in desperation, he cries out to the Lord in Heaven, "Dear God! Please help me find a pa... read more

Today I had to go to Lowe's. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a female driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available.

The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!" Well... read more

..that causes him to almost never arrive to work on time. His boss, frustrated by the man's lack of punctuality, warns him that if he is late to work one more day, he'll be fired.

The next day, the man makes sure to arrive to work on time, but is surprised to find that he can't find a space ... read more

Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.' ... read more

Two managing directors are talking. "Tell me, Eric. How do you get your employees to show up so early every morning?"

Eric: "Very simple. I have 50 employees but only 40 parking spaces".

At my university, it's defined as "finding a parking space"

It's when a car takes up 2 parking spaces.

A young man approaches a bus stop to find an older gentleman man sitting down and just facing forward. “Hell..of...a… driver…” says the older gent. The young man doesn’t think much of it. A few minutes pass and again the man blurts out “Hell of a driver!” Perplexed, the young man turns the older man... read more