UPJOKE
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There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to ration...

If you want to get good at Greek pottery...

you have to urn it.

Have you heard about the knight who was into pottery?

Ser Amic

What's the difference between a piece of Southwestern pottery and a bra?

One is a Terracotta pot and the other is a paira tata cots.

Did You Hear About the Pottery Furnace That Exploded?

It was terrible. They had to notify its next of kiln.

What do you call it when you have to dodge pottery?

Evasive maneuvers

I once met a lizard who was a door-to-door pottery salesman

He could really rep tile

Bill used to be a punk rocker in the 80’s. These days he’s got grown kids, he makes crocks at the pottery and loves to make up puns.

Now, he’s a pun crocker.

My dyslexic son came last in the school pottery contest...

He wrote a poem.

I've been making pottery by hand all day and boy howdy am I sore

You could say I'm Clay Aiken

What do you call it when someone comes to your house and takes all your pottery?

Home Depot.

Why is James Bond such a big fan of pottery?

He has a license to kiln.

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

Go ahead, bake my clay.

*walks away slowly*

There once was a village whose mayors were all named Benny and had magnificent beards

Legend held that if a mayor shaved his beard off, an ancient curse would transform him into a piece of pottery.

Centuries passed and every Benny was a fair and wise mayor, and never shaved their beards. But one summer, their land was struck by a terrible heat wave. All the men of the villag...

I suffered a broken collar bone, concussion and some minor bruising when I fell asleep at the wheel.

Got kicked out of pottery class too.

the knights

What is the name of the knight who moonlights as a geologist?

Sir Vey

What is the name of the agreeable knight?

Sir Tenly

What is the name of the Knight who used to be a slave?

Sir Vent

What are the names of the Knights who run the graduation ceremony?
...

If I ever make a weed farm...

It'll be called "The Pottery"

An angry man makes pots for a living.

He works all day in his pottery making pots. When he leaves, he slams the door and grumbles home.

At home he demands his dinner, and then reads the paper. Every night his loving wife nags him that his temper will get him in trouble.

Sure enough one day on his way home he bumps into a w...

My last job fired me

Which I thought was confusing, since only the pottery is supposed to go in the oven

what do you call a good poem about clay?

true pottery

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