UPJOKE
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Splashed out and finally got a microwave oven. Its one of the really high tech ones.

Its got buttons and settings for all kinds of foods, even popcorn. Its got multiple power settings and a memory.

So I got a whole frozen chicken and popped it in. Pressed "Defrost", then "Chicken" then, "1.8 kgs".

The display showed 15 minutes and I pressed "Start".

Then the mi...

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What's the difference between a microwave oven and anal sex?

One doesn't brown your meat.

A man comes home and his wife tells him to fix the broken table leg

The man replys:
"my dear, am I a carpenter?"


After three days, the man comes home and his wife tells him to fix the broken pipe in the bathroom, but the man replys:
"my dear, am I a plumber?"


After one week the man comes home and his wife tells him to fix the microwave o...

God said, "Come forth, John, and you shall recieve eternal life"

John came fifth and won a microwave oven

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A blonde woman goes appliance shopping...

... and upon arrival at the department store, she decides to take advantage of a sale that she sees. She calls over an employee and points to the marked-down price.

"I'd like to buy this television," she says, batting her eyelashes.

"I'm truly very sorry, miss," the employee tells her,...

I heard this one from a friend...

A blonde enters a parallel universe where the Aryan's are considered a minority. She walks into an appliance store, approaches the man behind the counter, and says "I'd like that TV please." The cashier replies "Sorry, we don't serve blondes."

The next day, she woke up, filled her hair with c...

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