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Fry Jokes

A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning

Suddenly the husband appears behind the wife's back and says:

"Careful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! You're frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on!
Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, they're sticking to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREF...

A hamburger and a French fry walk into a bar

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here"

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

What do you call a zombie making stir-fry?

Dead man WOKing.

I found stir fry all over my bed this morning

I must have been sleep **wok**ing again

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

Did you know that the first french fry wasn't cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan?

Cast Iron.

My wife gave out to me this morning, because our fridge was full of stir fry.

Oh god I must have being sleep wokking again.

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan?

You take away their brooms.

Stephen Fry once told this joke on "QI"

There is a story about the Bloomsbury Group writer Lytton Strachey who was a 'confirmed bachelor', as they used to put it. He was also a conscientious objector and a pacifist. He appeared before the conscientious objection board. It was their job to quiz him on whether he actually was a true pa...

I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal

I decided to go for a wok.

What Did Heracles Fry Food In?

Ancient Grease.

I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry.

You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.

Why did the fry cook go to jail?

He battered his wife.

How does Walter White make a stir fry?

With Ricin

You fry fries...

But you should never cook cooks.

There were 2 sausages in a frying pan.

One sausage says to the other damn it's hot in here! The other sausage says WTF a talking sausage.

Why is Europe like a frying pan??

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

Panda Express fired me for emailing around photos of bad stir fry...

I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...

Did you hear they're remaking The Princess Bride with an all-potato cast?

"Hello, my name is Idaho Montoya. You peeled my father. Prepare to fry."

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a man cooking stir-fry in a Japanese technology company?

Sony wok man.

I went to McDonalds and Wendy’s and Burger Kings and all the fries were burnt!

Then I realized it’s Black Fryday

What do Chinese bears fry dumplings in?

A Pan, Duh!

What did the egg say to the frying pan

Yolkgottabekiddingme!!

A muslim opens a stir-fry restaurant in Hawaï.

He called it "Aloha-Wok-bar".

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

I tried to deep fry my turkey this year but it went horribly wrong

Boom. Roasted.

Fat Free French Fries

A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.

“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy.

He ordered some.

He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
...

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

Ole and Sven are elderly friends who die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks And go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them

‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?’

Ole replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.’

T...

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

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