What do you call a zombie that cooks stir-frys ?

Dead Man Wok-ing ...

I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal

I decided to go for a wok.

Where was the french fry born?

Greece!

Sorry it’s the only joke I know :(

What did the egg say to the frying pan

Yolkgottabekiddingme!!

I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry.

You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband....

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I sa...

Just made this up: whats the no.1 movie for fish at the moment?

JAMES POND. NO TIME TO FRY!

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Two recently married friends meet up

How's your married life says the first one? It's great- says the second one- my wife is a fantastic cook, can make all the foods you can imagine. however, she is horrible in bed. She just doesn't know how to make love... How is yours going? he asks.
the first one replies. man, the sex is the best...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in you frying pan?

Take away their little brooms.

Two eggs in a frying pan

One says to the other; “wow! It’s warm in here!”
The other replies “Argh!!! A talking egg!”

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What do you call a man cooking stir-fry in a Japanese technology company?

Sony wok man.

What Did Heracles Fry Food In?

Ancient Grease.

My roommate scratched my non stick frying pan so I had to get rid of it.

Anyone looking for an apartment?

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There were two sausages in a frying pan...

One said to the other, "Damn, it's hot in here!"

Other one said, "Fuck me, it's a talking sausage!"

How to cook sausages

Once upon a time there was a little girl and one day her mommy decided it was time for her to learn how to cook sausages.


So she explains, slowly and patiently:


"You cut off the ends of the sausages, put a non-stick pan over a medium heat, and then add the sausages. Keep co...

I lost a bet over what would happen to R. Kelly. He got 25 to life but

I believed he would fry

What day do chickens hate most?

Fry-Day !

Did you know that the first French fry wasn’t actually cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

Why did the fry cook go to jail?

He battered his wife.

You fry fries...

But you should never cook cooks.

A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

I got fired from my Job at Panda Express for forwarding pictures of bad stir fry.

My boss said I should have labeled them Not Safe For Wok

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

Today I saw the hottest girl alive!

She had a running fever of 42 C (\~108 F) and still breathing. Tough chick to fry.

The Robot Family.

It's a big night for XR-573, the patriarch of the robot family. Not only are all three of his sons going to be over for dinner for the first time in years, but all three of them have brand new fiancées! XR-573 and his wife Z7-271 are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their ...

A French fry walks into a bar

\- Can I see the menu, please?

\- I'm sorry, but we don't serve food.

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

How does Walter White make a stir fry?

With Ricin

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A British man and an Australian man are walking thru London

They see a sign that reads 'one man, one vote'
The Australian says 'I don't understand'
The British guy says 'one man, one vote'
Australian 'yeah, I don't understand'
British guy 'one man has one vote'
Australian 'I don't get it'
British 'one fucking man, one fucking vote'
Austr...

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

Teacher: "What's 1 minus 1?"

Johny: "1 minus 1?"

Teacher: "Yes. If you subtract one from one, what do you get?"

Johny: "One."

Teacher: "No, Johny, Try again."

Johny: "Two."

Teacher: "Ok, let's do it this way: if you have only one potato chip left in a frying pan and you take it out of the pan,...

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

Fat Free French Fries

A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.

“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy.

He ordered some.

He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
...

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