What Did Heracles Fry Food In?

Ancient Grease.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two eggs are in a frying pan.

One egg says to the other, "Boy, is it hot in here!".

The cook shouts "Holy fuck, a talking egg!"

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...

'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.

You fry fries...

But you should never cook cooks.

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

Panda Express fired me for emailing around photos of bad stir fry...

I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...

Why did the fry cook go to jail?

He battered his wife.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I sa...

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Did you know that the first French fry wasn’t actually cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up in bed after a night of hard boozing...

His first thought is that he's in big trouble with his wife, but she waltzes into the room with a sunshiny grin and hands him a tray loaded with breakfast in bed. While he's eating, she slips under the covers and gives him a deliriously good blowjob.

"I don't get it, honey," the guy says. "I...

Why is EU like a frying pan?

Because Greece is stuck at the bottom

Is that a frying pan in the pantry?

No. It’s a wok in closet.

How does Walter White make a stir fry?

With Ricin

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

What do you call it when a wizard hits you with a frying pan

Cast iron

TIL: There is a proven way to stop your bacon from curling in your frying pan.

Take away their little brooms and rocks.

A French fry walks into a bar

\- Can I see the menu, please?

\- I'm sorry, but we don't serve food.

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, and go to Hell.

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesnt the heat and smoke bother you?' Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust ha...

New Supermarket

A new supermarket opened in Phoenix. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.


When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. <...

How is working the fry station at McDonald's like studying Plato and Aristotle?

You really learn to appreciate ancient grease.

I tried to deep fry my turkey this year but it went horribly wrong

Boom. Roasted.

Fat Free French Fries

A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.

“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy.

He ordered some.

He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
...

Brain cells fry at how many degrees?

Just 1: your college degree.

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