What is the difference between Donald Trump and an orangutan?
One is an orange beast that makes noise and flings crap at people. The other is an ape.
If you mix a lion and a tiger you get a liger. If you mix a horse and a donkey you get a mule. What happens when you mix an orangutan and a lawyer?
Nothing. The lawyer doesn't have enough human DNA.
What do you call an orangutan holding a spoon?
I don't know I was asking you
One day the zoo keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books; On the Origin of Species and the Bible.
Surprised, he asked the orangutan, "Why are you reading both of those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So a redditor walks into a bar
The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."
"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.
"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I brow...
I was watching a nature show with my wife's brother...
when he asked me if the orangutan in the show was related to me. I said yes, he's an in-law.
Dave is a talented mime who works at the local zoo.
He is very good at his job and is well liked by the guests of the zoo. One day, the zoo's famous orangutan dies suddenly. Not wanting to close the exhibit, the zoo approaches Dave with a proposition. Dave is to dress up in a realistic orangutan suit and pretend to be the orangutan, until the zoo can...
Harambe memes have lost their popularity since the election...
People's attention moved away from the death of a gorilla to the election of an orangutan!
It is inappropriate to call people "monkeys"
The politically correct term is "orangutan".
Just monkeying around
An orangutan walks over to an another orangutan and says 'Yo, I'm the best at climbing and swinging!' His friend looks at him and says 'that's a gibbon.'
Father and son at the zoo...
A boy goes to the zoo with his father. They’re at the Primates section. The father asks the boy, “Do you know what that animal is?” And the boy says “Yeah… a monkey.” The father smiles, “No son… that’s an orangutan! Orangutans are apes!”
Across the park… the father asks the boy, “What animal ...