An Iguana can hold it's breathe for up to 28 minutes

or longer if you don't mind it dying.

Did you hear about the iguana who couldn’t reproduce?

Turns out he was having a reptile dysfunction.

My pet iguana has been really lethargic recently...

He's been laying around a lot, and has trouble getting up. I took him to the vet, and he was diagnosed with a reptile dysfunction.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The South American Cocksucking Iguana

A man is having problems with his wife. She's constantly nagging at him and he always seems to be in the dog house.


After a particularly big fight, he begins to drive around aimlessly. He passes a pet store and is seized by a brilliant idea. He'll get a pet for his wife! Maybe it will mak...

What do you call an Iguana that can't stand up straight?

Ereptile Dysfunction.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Back tattoos.

I posted this joke in r/funny but someone suggested that this was a more appropriate subreddit. Anyway, here's my joke:

I was at the beach the other day and I saw a girl with a big iguana tattoo on her back, and I thought, "that's really sexy."

Well, it's not so much that I find it att...

Oldie - the monkey and the iguana

One day iguana is walking through the forest and sees monkey up in a tree just puffing away on a big joint. Iguana yells up, "Hey monkey, can a brotha get a hit of that?" Monkey looks down and says, "Sure little dude come on up." So iguana and monkey sit in the tree and finish off the giant splif...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A monkey is smoking weed in a tree

and an iguana comes by and sees the monkey and decides to smoke with the monkey.

A while later the iguana suffering from cotton mouth decides to go to the river to drink some water. At the river the iguana runs into an alligator. The alligator sees the Iguana and says “Hey man, whats wrong w...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A monkey is smoking a joint in a tree...

An iguana walks by and joins him in a few tokes. After a few minutes the iguana gets cottonmouth and goes to get a drink from the river.

While he’s gone an alligator smells the aroma and wanders over to the tree.

The monkey looks down from his branch and yells “Holy shit! How much wa...

What is a reptile's favorite recreational drug?

Mar-iguana.

A QA engineer walks into a bar

He buys a beer.

He buys 2 beers.

He buys 9999999999999999 beers.

He buys -1 beers.

he buys 0.1 beers.

He buys iguana beers.

he buys u9obgn;ufobefo6,.g beers.

he buys 2'); DROP TABLE *; beers.