What's a tiger running a copying machine called?

A copycat

The Ohio and Michigan Institute of Lions and Tigers and Bears.

OH,MI.

Tiger Woods won't be able to play the Masters this year.

Having difficulties with his driving.


Too soon?

Why did tiger quit golf?

He lost the ability to drive

Pretend you're in a jungle, what do you do if a tiger is chasing you and catching up to you?

Stop pretending.

What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger?

Gladiator

My grandfather has a heart of a tiger.

He also has a lifetime ban at the zoo.

What ruined Tiger Woods’ golf career?

His driving game.

A hunter was asked what he did for a living, and he responds that he "hunts tigers in Africa."

When it's pointed out that there are no tigers in Africa, he replies "that's because I do my job".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pregnant Girlfriend

Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms every time we have sex.

Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke?

Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.

Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he enco...

The worst part about Tiger Wood's driving

is that it's probably going to add to his handicap.

Yesterday I saw a tiger on my way back home.

I was terrified I suddenly started pray. Then looked back at tiger and saw he was also praying. I asked him "Why are you praying?" He replied "I always pray before i eat".

Tiger Woods issues statement to Reddit regarding tasteless comments about his emergency knee surgery in r/Jokes.

"I won't stand for this"

Tiger Woods wanted to play at The Masters.....

But everyone knew he’d have trouble getting past the turn.

What's the difference between a German Tiger and a Siberian Tiger?

One can survive the Winter.

I know it's way too soon, but... How many times did Tiger's SUV roll?

FOUR!!!



I'm going to Hell.

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle?

Wipe it off and apologize

Five Detroit Tigers fans, Al, Ben, Carl, Dan, and Edgar, are watching a home game for the Tigers. Of course, the Tigers easily lose, and the five fans leave the stadium angrily.

"If those players had played better, we could have won," said Al.

"Don't blame the players, blame the coach," said Ben. "If he had trained the players better, they would have played better."

"Those players couldn't play a decent game if their lives depended on it," said Carl. "But it's...

Tiger woods got in an accident the same reason he lost his last tournament

Because of his terrible driving

Out of all the aspects of Tigers game

Nobody ever faulted his driving....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Tiger is getting married to the Tigress and the whole Jungle is invited. except the Monkey:



A Tiger is getting married to the Tigress and the whole Jungle is invited. except the Monkey.

After the ceremony, everyone returns to their own place and the newly wed couple are returning to theirs.

While on their way, the Monkey suddenly appears and shouts:

"Hey you ...

For the first time in his professional career Tiger Woods failed to make the cut at the Arnold Palmer invitational

People are saying he just rolled over.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tiger, I've got some good news and bad news.

"Ok Doc. Give me the bad news first."
"We had to implant metal rods in your legs which could impact your play."
"That's Terrible! I'm Finished! I'll never be able to compete again! What's the GOOD news!"
"You balls are 3 inches from the pin."

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a NASCAR driver?

Tiger Woods plays golf for a living, but enjoys smashing up his car on his days off.

An American and Mexican business men talk about getting rich

There is a conference in DC and a Mexican and American guy meet and talk about highway infrastructure projects. The American invites the Mexican to his home. They show up in a Cadillac where the American invites him inside and they go up to the second story balcony. He points below and says, see tha...

Poor Tiger Woods...

One bad drive and he is stuck in the rough.

Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?

It wanted a balanced diet.

What do Donald Trump and Tony the Tiger share in common?

Both are orange and both say They're Gr-r-reat!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit is hopping through the woods. Hop! Hop! Hop! When he comes upon a giraffe. Now, this giraffe is about to smoke some weed. The rabbit looks up at the giraffe and say, "Giraffe, don't smoke weed! Weed is a drug and drugs are bad, come running with me through the forest!"

The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed.

The giraffe tossed his blunt aside and they go running through the forest together. Run! Run! Run! Hop! Hop! Hopping along.

Soon they come to a clearing with a sheep.

This sheep is about to shoot u...

A village is being terrorized by a man eating tiger.

All the villagers' efforts to catch this tiger have been in vain. They call an acclaimed hunter "One shot Bob" who is so named because rumor has it that he can disable or kill any animal with just one shot.

So the hunter arrives, all smug and self assured. He prepares for the hunt and perch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station

in a remote part of Ireland. Paddy, who knows nothing about golf, says "Top of the morning to you sir!"

Tiger nods and bends over to pick up the nozzle. As he does so two tees fall out of his pocket.

"What are those?"

Tiger replies, "These are called tees. They are for resting m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." A bit shocked, he asked, "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" She blushed, "Tiger Woods, the golfer."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."

The couple then makes passionate love.

When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."

"Tiger wouldn't do t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Think you can do better?

A circus came to town, places an ad for an animal trainer in the local paper. Only two applicants showed up, a male and a female. The offer could be for one, so the best performer wins the job.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better prepared because she came to the inter...

One of my friends told me that Oslo is also known as the Tiger City

And I was like “woah Norway”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with me is as annoying as playing a round of golf with tiger woods

No one wants to play with someone who shoots it in the hole first stroke every time!

I heard Tiger Woods has been hitting the gym lately

Been crushing legs

I read that Snap, Crackle and Pop were found murdered along with Captain Crunch and Tony the Tiger

Authorities suspect it's the work of a cereal killer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tiger Wood and Bill Clinton are at the bar.

Bill has has a few drinks and decided to open up to Tiger. He says, Tiger your my oldest friend and I just have to ask. How do you keep your cock so long and hard. Tiger responds, it’s simple really. Before I sleep with a woman I smack my Dick on the bed post three times as hard as I can. Bill finds...

Tiger Woods has really picked up his game

He used to only flip his golf club

My coach told me to bring out the tiger in me during our football game.

I didn't want to waste any of my favorite frosted flakes cereal.

Guy gets back from work...

He walks through the door, but his wife - who I think was blonde - doesn't come to see him or say hi. He looks through to the kitchen and sees her with her hands on her head, quietly cursing to herself, clearly frustrated by something.

He asks her, "hey honey, what's the problem?". She replie...

Yesterday I was in the zoo with my 7 year old son

As we walked by the tiger enclosure, I told him how dangerous it is.

He looked up at me asked, “dad, if the tiger where to get out and eat you...”

Preparing to comfort him I waited patiently.

“Which bus should I take to get home again?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two tigers were strolling through the woods, one behind the other.

The one at the back suddenly paced forward, and gave a quick lick to the other's butthole.

"Hey! Cut it out!!???" It snapped looking back. The tiger at the back immediately apologised and they continued walking.

After a little while this happened again. This time the one in front turne...

Stevie Wonder rings Tiger Woods and says

"how do you fancy a round of golf"

Tiger says "I didn't think you would be able to play Stevie"

Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can tune an earpiece into, which tells him the direction and distance to it.
...

What's the difference between a woman and a tiger entering a commercial center?

The woman is shopping in the mall and the tiger is mauling in the shops.

My grandpa was telling me about when he used to hunt tigers.

He said, "this one time I was alone in the jungle when out of the bushes, right in front of me, a huge tiger leaped out suddenly and went RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! Kid, you won't believe it, I shat myself."

I raised my eyebrows. "You bet I believe it, I'd have shat myself too if that happened...

What do you get if a lion mates with a tiger?

Sacked from your job at the zoo.

A lion would never play golf

But a Tiger Wood

Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?

It was a big cat-astrophe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do two tiger sharks mate?

I don’t know. They’re fucking underwater

What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?

I don't know, but you better keep it away from your ass

In the beginning, God asked Adam to name the animals, so he began to invent names, “Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig...” Then God said, “You must name the sea animals too.” Adam was exhausted, but he knew how important this was, so he continued...

“Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…”

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.



Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they p...

How did Tiger Woods manage to burn down his house?

Coz he got rid of all his hose.

There's an upcoming show featuring the woman from Tiger King and Batman's sidekick, going around and reviewing ice cream parlors

Carole Baskin And Robin's

Did you know that a Siberian Tiger can absolutely devour a 7-year-old girl in just about 45 seconds?

Anyways, I lost my job at the petting zoo, today...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Tiger cross the road?

To whip some Sooner ass.

Billie Eilish is officially 18 now, do you know what that means?

She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've finally watched The Tiger King. shit is bananas

The uncle killed the dad while the kid watched, then the kid ran away and hung out with a warthog and a meerkat for years. Then he hallucinated his dad talking to him from the sky.

Weird.

>!And what's the deal with this monkey?!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of Irish countryside.

Pump attendant who knows absolutely nothin about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two ...

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

WARNING: Tiger King Spoilers

Will make your car look stupid.

Why are lions more honorable than tigers?

A lion wouldn't cheat on his mate, but a Tiger Wood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Before this year started, none of us could have predicted all this: Kobe Bryant, Australian fires, Coronavirus quarantine, Tiger King, toilet paper hoarding.

I guess none of us truly had 2020 vision after all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What winks and fucks like a tiger?

*winks*

A Seattle Mariners fan, a Detroit Tigers fan, a Boston Red Sox fan, and a New York Yankees fan are climbing up a cliff.

They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. It gets to the point where, when they are halfway up the cliff, the Tigers fan yells, "This is for Detroit!" He then jumps off the cliff and dies.

The three remaining climbers continue to climb until they are three-quarters of the way up ...

Can a tiger find the man cub?

Shere Khan

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops after three HOs

Ive heard so much about the Eye of the Tiger,

But why does nobody talk about the other four letters?

What do you do when you suddenly walk into a tiger and a jaguar?

You get in the jaguar and drive off.

Went golfing yesterday...

My game is terrible. I’ll never be able to beat Tiger Woods...

But I can out-drive him.

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon.

It wasn't a great day at the zoo.

[NSFW] What do Siegfried and the tigers have in common?

They both know what Roy tastes like.

2 Tigers At The Bronx Zoo Are Talking

Fred: Hey did you hear what happened to Bob the Tiger?

Larry: Yea, COVID-19. Unbelievable! How could he get a human illness?

Fred: He had a zookeeper for dinner last week.

Larry: That's terrible.

Fred: It gets worse.

Larry: Bob ate a human who gave him Coronavirus,...

A dog walks through the jungle forests, when suddenly a tiger threatens to devour him.

A dog walks through the jungle forests, when suddenly a tiger threatens to devour him.

The dog, who sees the animal's bones next to it, turns to them, licks his lips and says, "What a delicious tiger that was!"

The tiger hears the dog, panics, turns and runs away.

All the while ...

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Why did the Tiger run away from the lion?

The lion invaded the golf-course.

What did Tiger Woods get for Christmas?

Half of everything.

Man enters zoo enclosure to feed the tigers...

Succeeds

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies ...

Why should you never do math with a tiger?

If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.



haha, classic

Two retired British Indian Army officers sat in the common room of their nursing home waiting for tea when they began reminiscing about their time India.

“Say, old chap, did I ever tell you about the time I was attacked by a Bengal tiger?”

“I dare say I’ve not heard that one.”

“I decided one summer to try my hand at taking down one of the royal beasts. I hired a guide from the local village and armed with my rifle we set out. Several ho...

Must be strange being Tiger Woods;

Getting to hear, "Morning, Woods!" all the time!

3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.

Oh my!

What is the difference between a freshly made pizza and a hungry jungle tiger?

One tastes delicious to you and you taste delicious to one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Tiger Woods have the best swing?

He heard that swinging meant he could have sex with whomever.

A Lion and a Tiger escaped with a Jaguar from a British zoo.

They were caught 15 miles down the road when the Jaguar broke down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tiger tank

WW2 is raging and 3 Jews are walking along a road and they see a German tiger tank in the middle of the road.
One of them says " Let's push this tank to our village and sell it for scrap metal"
So they start to push the tank along the road and after 30 minutes one of them falls to the ground ...

Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.

Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hear that Tiger Woods carries two sex dolls with him on a golf course...

...just in case he gets a hole in one.

The Bengal Tiger is capable of jumping higher than an average two story colonial house.

This is because of their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average 2 story colonial home can't jump very high.

I met Tiger Woods at a driving range, and he offered to watch a few of my shots and give me advice

He watched carefully, and told me I was standing much too close to the ball - after I hit it

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods’s golf ball and his SUV?

He can drive his golf ball 300 yards without hitting a tree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two tigers are walking down the street.

One says to the other:

'It's quiet for a Saturday isn't it?'

Tiger and Stevie Wonder are in a bar

Tiger turns to Stevie and asks, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie: Not bad. How's the golf?

Tiger: Not bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now.

Stevie: I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a wh...

Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?

Only people in the Woods’

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