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Guy goes to Doc because his dick is orange.

A guy goes to the doctor because his dick is orange;

Doctor looks at it and say, “yep, it’s orange alright”

Guy says, “why is it orange doc? What could it be?”

Doc thinks for a minute… then asks the guy, “do you work around dyes or paints or anything like that?”

Guy says,...

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

What do you get when you cross an orange with Quentin Tarantino?

Pulp Fiction

Credit to the movie The Starving Games

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

Want to know why is fired from my job at the Orange Juicing plant?

They said I wasn't concentrating properly.

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor.

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor. They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.
One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them...

What do you call someone who dyes their hair orange?

Transginger

What's a dry orange good for?

Nothing at all. It's juiceless

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Oranges sound excruciating

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and Lulu was among them:
The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes lined up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu"s grandma came by and saw her grandaughter.
Grandma asked. "Why are you standing i...

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

**Big hands.**

Do oranges chose to become juice?

Or do they get pressed to it?

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'

Orange is my favorite colour

I love it more than red and yellow put together

Yesterday I saw a marine mammal swim along the coast holding a glass of orange juice in it's flippers.

Turned out to be a Vitamin C-lion

I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I got canned

I just couldn't concentrate.

A man with a giant, round orange head walks into a bar....

He sits down at the bar and the bartender asks why the giant round orange head....

The man says 'I came across a magic lamp and rubbed it and the genie granted me three wishes.'

'With my first wish I wished for all the money I would ever need and that's why I'm ordering a round for eve...

I once had a dream where I was in an ocean full of orange soda.

Actually no, it’s not a dream.

It’s more of a fantasy

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a big orange head sitting alone in the corner.

He walks up to the barman and asks: "What's with that guy over there with the big orange head?"

The barman replies: "Buy him a drink and he might tell you his story"

So the man buys two drinks and walks over to the man with the big orange head sitting in the corner. He sits at his tabl...

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A man goes to the doctor because his penis has turned orange.

The doctor examining him, is baffled how his penis has turned orange and poses some probing questions. "What do you do for a living", he asks.

"I am a truck driver"

"Do you work long hours"

"Oh yes, most days are twelve to sixteen hour days usually in heavy traffic"

The...

I asked my bartender if he had ever tried putting sliced oranges in a beer.

He replied, “Once in a blue moon.”

Steve Jobs would’ve been a better president than Trump.

But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

If you have 4 apples in one hand and 3 oranges in the other...

You should probably go back and get a basket

I've found that I'm a lot happier

Since I switched from coffee to orange juice in the mornings. My doctor said it's because of the citrus and natural sugars. I think it's just the vodka.

My friend has paranoid delusions about being a chocolate orange.

I worry he might get sectioned.

I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

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A man buys an apple, 2 oranges and a banana.

On his way to the checkout, the cashier asks if he's single.

Man: "Yes I am, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're fucking ugly"

What rhymes with Orange

No it doesn’t

How often should you put an orange slice in your beer?

Once, in a Blue Moon.

What did the orange say to the door?

Mind if I squeeze in?

Written by my 4 year old daughter and I think it is hilarious.

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Susie is a prostitute...

... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past & sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised & ask her 'How, do u ...

What is the difference between a Peach and a Orange?

You can't imorange a Peach but you can impeach an Orange.

I went to the grocery store today to buy some oranges and couldn’t find any that i wanted

none of them looked appealing


pls be nice, i thought of this in the shower :)

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A man goes to the doctor because his penis has turned orange.

After a thorough physical examination:

Doctor: "We can't find anything physically wrong with you that would turn your penis orange. I'll be honest, I've never seen anything like this, perhaps it's a psychological issue. Have you been under a lot of stress lately, maybe at your job?"

Ma...

What do you feed a vegan vampire?

A blood orange!

Orange and apple walk into a bar

Okay, so there's this orange and an apple and they walk into a fruit bar.

Well, they don't exactly *walk*, they more or less *roll*. Anyway, the apple says to the bartender, who is actually a banana, "What does one have to do to get a …."

Ah....wait. I think I messed it up.

... ...

Why did pirates eat oranges?

For the vitamin SEA

This just in: A Burger King employee in Kalispell, Montana was arrested today after being caught putting vodka in the orange Hi-C.

Local police say it was the first reported case of a Flathead screwdriver.

Did you hear about the astronaut whose request to bring an orange on the space shuttle was declined?

It was a fruitless Endeavor

I finally figured out why Donald Trump is orange.

He lives in a Fanta Sea.

In Soviet Union a Screwdriver is not Orange Juice with Vodka...

It’s Vodka with Orange Juice

(Jokester’s Note: Russian Vodka is the best in the world regarding to taste, which inspired me to make this joke, love y’all(as far as a westerner goes))

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk a carton of eggs a quart of orange juice a head of romaine lettuce a 2 lb. can of coffee a 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict'...

Guy got so drunk he blew chunks (vomited)

A bartender overhears a guy in the bar bragging to his friends about how he is going to "tie one on" About 10 minutes later the guy walks up to the bar and asks for a 40 pounder of tequila. The bartender says to him I'll make you a deal, if you drink that whole bottle of tequila before you leave h...

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A white man, a black man and an orange man walk into the bar.

The white man goes up to the bar to order a whiskey. The barman goes, "Hey, aren't you George Bush?"
"Yes, I am" he replies. "Well Mr. President it's an honor."
Then the black man goes up to the bar to get his drink. "Hey, aren't you Barack Obama?" asks the barman. "Yes I am", Obama responds....

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Me: "Doctor doctor, the Covid pandemic has made my dick go orange..."

Doctor: "That's strange, can you tell me about your daily routine?"

Me: "Well we've been stuck in the house so I've been pretty much just watching porn and eating Cheetos"

My friend said to me "what rimes with orange?"

And I said "No it doesn't.".

If a watchmaker uses Dial and a piano player uses Ivory and a Orange grower uses Zest...

...Does a Bull Fighter use Olay?

What is an orange pith?

It's what you get when you drink too much orange jooth.

I called my dad from the shop saying I’d forgotten what orange juice he asked for.

“Concentrate” he said, but I still couldn’t remember!

Doctor, I’m worried about my son. He spends all day measuring imaginary bottles of orange soda.

Don’t worry ma’am, it’s normal for boys his age to spend their time fantasising.

What's fat, orange and that everyone avoids?

A traffic cone.

*what did you expect?*

What does Michael Jordan and Melania Trump have in common?

The both made a fortune playing with orange balls

What’s Orange and Lies Constantly?

A rotting clementine, but I like where your head’s at.

What does orange juice and my dad have in common?

They both slap harder when mixed with alcohol.

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Little Timmy was in the classroom...

...and the principal was observing. The teacher asked pupils to give examples of food.

So all the pupils raised their hands.

"Pears" - said Mary.

"Bananas" - said John.

"Oranges" - said Sara.

and it went on like this for a while. "Very well" - said the teacher, rea...

Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who?

Orange you glad I lost the election?

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I absolutely love and admire the unintellignt, overweight, yellowish-orange skinned man with the bad combover covering his baldness who has had his finger on the nuclear button all these years...

Wait... I was talking about Homer Simpson, who did you think I meant?

My buddy said, "What rhymes with orange?"

I pondered for a while and thought..."No, it doesn't."

Knock-Knock. Who’s there? Orange.

Come right in, Mr. Trump.

Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?

They have appeal

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!
I know should not laugh at my own jokes but I still find it funny haha

What type of orange juice do people with ADHD have trouble drinking?

Concentrate!

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A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange.

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to...

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An American couple is looking to adopt a child...

and for whatever reason, they find themselves in an orphanage in Germany. There is this little German boy they really liked to adopt, and they decide to ask the nun if they can adopt him.

"You want to adopt little Volker?" the nun asks.

"Yes, of course. Why, is something wrong with Vol...

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I’ve always dreamt of having a penis as long and wide as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda,

Fanta sized really

Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill?

Cause it ran out of juice.

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Mr. Johnson walks into a doctor's office and says to the doctor, "My penis has turned orange."

The doctor asks to see his penis, and sure enough, Mr. Johnson's penis is as orange as a carrot.

"What's wrong with my penis?" asks Mr. Johnson.

"When someone's penis turns a strange colour," says the doctor, "it's usually because of stress. Have you lost your job recently?"

"Y...

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot! :)

My baby girl came up with this and most of the laughter just comes from her ecstatic joy of saying it.

I wonder

Do oranges want to be juice or they pressured into it?

I have more oranges than I have apples

And you thought that I can't compare apples and oranges...

Can you all please stop hating on Pepsi, Coke, and Orange Crush?

Seriously, it's soda pressing.

Why are prison inmates dressed in orange? They should be dressed in violet

Because they're violetors.

What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the US?

Agent orange, duh.

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I put a mood ring on my penis and it turned purple.

The ring, however, turned orange.

There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female…

If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.

If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

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A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor.

So the teacher gives them a hint and say it's what your parents call each other. A little girl shouts and says “ OMG their assholes.

What do you get when rubbing two oranges together

Pulp friction

If you say "gullible" slowly enough, it actually sounds like"oranges"

Give it a try

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What's the difference between a dick and an orange?

Go and eat an orange and find out yourself

My grandfather survived agent orange during the Vietnam war. My great grandfather survived mustard gas in WWII.

I come from a line of seasoned veterans.

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A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc my pecker has turned orange".

The doctor takes a look and says, "I've never seen anything like this before. We'll have to run some tests to see if you have been poisoned or something. Where do you work, a chemical plant?"

The guy answers, "No. As a matter of fact I've been out of work for a couple of months now, and I've ...

I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.

He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."

Johnny walks into a barber shop and asks if they have oranges for sale

Barber: The hell is wrong with you? This is a barber shop. We don’t have oranges.

Johnny: Ok, thanks.

The next day he goes back again and asks the same thing

Barber: Dude I told you yesterday. This is a barber shop, we don’t have oranges here for sale.

Johnny: Alright,...

Why didn't the apple and orange get married?

Because fruit cantaloupe.

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