UPJOKE
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What did the sunburnt manatee say?

Man a tee shirt would be nice

What do you get when you cross a manatee and a human?

Humanatee

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "Caution, I'm a maneater". I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "Excuse me, Miss...about your shirt."

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said,"That'...

My wife and I were talking about obscure animals.

She said, "I want to get a manatee."


"That's very generous," I replied, "no cream, no sugar please hun!"

Sea World threw me out for trying to ride the manatee

What's the big deal? It's not like I did it on porpoise!

What do you call a baby manatee?

A boyatee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Crayola is now doing its color testing on manatees and peta is pissed.

Oh The Hue Manatee!

My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee.

I just laughed and said, "Two sugars, please."

Mermaids shouldnt be called mermaids

they should be called hu-manatee

A hillbilly is in Florida and has a sea turtle hanging up on a fishing pole.

The game warden approaches on his boat and asked, "Are you gonna release that?"
The hillbilly then replies,"No, they taste good."
"Oh really, how do they taste?"
"Somewhere between bald eagle and manatee."

What did the journalist say when he saw an obese sea cow explode?

Oh the huge manatee!

I picked out a color of grey paint the other day, I guess the salesman didn't like it.

He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."

What's a mages favorite tea?

manatee

What's the best kind of tea overall?

thirs-tea

Why couldn't the ocean mage cast a spell?

He forgot to drink his manatee.

I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals.

It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees.

I saw a very large woman in a bar wearing a T-shirt that said 'I'm a Man-Eater'

I walked up to her, shot her a grin and she told me "Let me guess, you've got a joke about how many men I've eaten?"
I simply told her she spelled manatee wrong.

Did you hear about that diaster that killed all those sea cows?

Oh the hu-manatee!

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