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Pachyderm Jokes

If a pachyderms appears at your door unexpectedly,

What military tactic are they employing?


The Elephant Of Surprise.

Hating Pachyderms

If you say you hate all pachyderms, but you're actually cool with elephants and rhinos, your really just being hippo critical

What do you call a pachyderm who sings jazz?

Ella Fantzgerald

Did you guys hear about the pachyderm who earned a Rhodes Scholarship?

He’s an Oxford llama

What do you call a pachyderm that doesn’t matter?

Irr-elephant.

I don't think much about large pachyderms

To me they are irrelephant

What do you call a pachyderm who's in last place?

Doesn't matter - it's rear elephant

What do you call a pachyderm who can't contribute anything meaningful to the conversation?

**Irrelephant.**

How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?

With the Periodic Table of Elephants.

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates.



aaahhhthankyou

What's the difference between a suitcase and an elephant?

You can pack a suitcase, but you can't pachyderm

A zookeeper is giving a chemist a tour of the zoo.

The zookeeper gestures at a fancy new building proudly and says to the scientist "This is our replacement 'Pachyderm Palace'. It's newly built, and is not fully accessible, so it's only in use on Tuesdays."

The chemist says "Ah, so it's a periodic stable for the elephants."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

an elephant is walking through the jungle when he realizes he's stuck in quicksand and sinking

He reaches out with his trunk and grabs a branch. He attempts to haul himself in but the branch brakes and he begins sinking even quicker. The elephant begins yelling for help and a Mouse runs up
"What's wrong Mr elephant?" said the mouse
" I am stuck in quicksand and sinking to my Doom.pleas...

So, a friend of mine claims to be really body-positive, but...

...I saw him comment on a picture of a fat woman in Wal-Mart comparing her to a pachyderm. I told him to stop being so hippo-critical.

What do you give an elephant who wants to quit smoking?

Pachyderm CQ

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