If you say you hate all pachyderms, but you're actually cool with elephants and rhinos, your really just being hippo critical
What do you call a pachyderm who can't contribute anything meaningful to the conversation?
What do you call a pachyderm who's in last place?
Doesn't matter - it's rear elephant
Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?
Because an elephant never frigates.
A zookeeper is giving a chemist a tour of the zoo.
The zookeeper gestures at a fancy new building proudly and says to the scientist "This is our replacement 'Pachyderm Palace'. It's newly built, and is not fully accessible, so it's only in use on Tuesdays."
The chemist says "Ah, so it's a periodic stable for the elephants."
How do you track the reproductive cycle of pachyderms?
With the Periodic Table of Elephants.
What's the difference between a suitcase and an elephant?
You can pack a suitcase, but you can't pachyderm
Once there was a girl named Darling...
... had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name. She always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school and hated her parents for the pain they inflicted on her. By the time she graduated school, however, she overcame her anger and embraced her unusual name finding it brought her so...
So, a friend of mine claims to be really body-positive, but...
...I saw him comment on a picture of a fat woman in Wal-Mart comparing her to a pachyderm. I told him to stop being so hippo-critical.