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Macaque Jokes

What monkey stands only 7 inches tall?

Macaque

An Italian couple were getting busy on their wedding night.

But when the husband took off his pants, the wife received quite a shock. Where his business should have been was a small monkey.

"My God!" she exclaimed. "It's a monkey!"

"No," responded the husband. "It's-a macaque."

Scientists in China have successfully cloned two macaque monkeys.

It's quite impossible to tell them apart, said one of the monkeys

On my first day of work as a zoo keeper I noticed one of my male coworkers had a bulge in his pants. I asked him...

"Is that a small monkey in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

He said "Yeah, it's Macaque"

Jane Goodall has blocked my number!

Didn't appreciate me sending her photos of macaque.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey asked another monkey how does he have sex.

"With macaque"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the monkey say when he was kicked between the legs?

Oh macaque!

So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of crabs. His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the ...

What do your mom and monkeys have in common?

Macaque

What's your moms favorite monkey?

Macaque.

What did the well-endowed monkey say to his friends?

I'm thrilled with macaque

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