What do you call a baboon that has no way to get into his house?

A Mon

Wanna know why those baboons are always drinking in the park?

It’s the only place with monkey bars.

A chimpanzee, a gorilla and a baboon are communicating to each other across their zoo enclosures about which is the greatest primate...

"It's obviously me!" says the chimp. "I am most closely related to humans and can use tools!" "No, it's me!" says the gorilla. "I am the biggest of all primates and strongest!" "No, it's me!" says the baboon. "I am smaller than you apes but am the biggest monkey plus fast and cunning!"

But t...

Why do baboons have big red balls?

So they can hide in apple trees.

What's the most dangerous job in Africa?

Picking apples.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What's the difference between a group of baboons and our political system?

I don't know.

What do you call a flying monkey?

A hot air baboon

What type of monkey goes into a mine field?

A baboon


haha im so funny

What lives in a jungle and has a trunk?

A elephant.....*screeching tires*
WRONG ANSWER!
A baboon with carry on.

A doctor was checking up on his Patient at the psychiatric hospital

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Patient: I keep fantasizing about baboons playing soccer.

Doctor: Ok, I will give you medicine today, you'll stop fantasizing...

Patient: Give me the medicine tomorrow, today it's the finals!

What kind of monkeys fly?

Hot air baboons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beauty, self image and the ability to transform.

Martha was ugly like a shaven baboon,

So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon.

After a week she finally emerged,

She smelled like shit what a psycho.

>Credits to Bo Burnham

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Even wants to have sex

And she goes to Adam and says to him: "Adam, lets have sex!".
"I can't have sex with you, you have no hole down there.", says Adam, so Eve goes crying to the river and a fairy appears and asks her "Eve, why are you crying?" where Eve replied "Adam can't have sex with me cause I have no hole down ...

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