UPJOKE
chacma baboonapeleopardmonkeymandrillprimateold world monkeychimpanzeehyenaliongenusdrillguinea babooncheetahchacma

If a buffalo and baboon mated...

Their child would be a real buffoon.

Why do baboons have big red balls?

So they can hide in apple trees.

What's the most dangerous job in Africa?

Picking apples.

Wanna know why those baboons are always drinking in the park?

It’s the only place with monkey bars.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a Congress

I found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.

What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon

A doctor was checking up on his Patient at the psychiatric hospital

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Patient: I keep fantasizing about baboons playing soccer.

Doctor: Ok, I will give you medicine today, you'll stop fantasizing...

Patient: Give me the medicine tomorrow, today it's the finals!

What do you call a baboon that has no way to get into his house?

A Mon

A chimpanzee, a gorilla and a baboon are communicating to each other across their zoo enclosures about which is the greatest primate...

"It's obviously me!" says the chimp. "I am most closely related to humans and can use tools!" "No, it's me!" says the gorilla. "I am the biggest of all primates and strongest!" "No, it's me!" says the baboon. "I am smaller than you apes but am the biggest monkey plus fast and cunning!"

But t...

What's the difference between a group of baboons and our political system?

I don't know.

My 8 year old son just told me this : What do you call a flying monkey ?

A hot air baboon !

What lives in a jungle and has a trunk?

A elephant.....*screeching tires*
WRONG ANSWER!
A baboon with carry on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beauty, self image and the ability to transform.

Martha was ugly like a shaven baboon,

So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon.

After a week she finally emerged,

She smelled like what a psycho.

>Credits to Bo Burnham
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