Penguin Jokes - 116 Hilarious Penguin Jokes

A guy sees a lonely penguin wandering in the streets downtown

He takes him immediately to the nearest police station to ask for advice.

"Officer, I found this penguin, what should I do?"

Officer is concerned and says:

"What is he doing there?? Take him to the Zoo immediately!"

Man says ok and leaves the police station.

A coup...

When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin.

Just so I can say the words “Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.”

A man is driving a van full of penguins and is pulled over by a cop...

“Sir,” says the policeman. “Are you aware that there are penguins in your van?”

“Yep,” says the man. “They’re my penguins. They belong to me.”

The policeman looks at the man in disbelief and then back at the penguins, who noot at him.

“Sir, I’m afraid this is unacceptable. I nee...

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg.

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him.

The narwhal comes and the penguin says, "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How tall is a penguin?

A man rushes into a bar and screams at the bartender, "How tall is a penguin?"

The bartender looks at him weirdly and says, "Excuse me?"

The man repeats, "How tall is a penguin?"

The bartender motions with his hands. "Uh, about this high."

The color drains from the man's ...

I just finished writing my book on penguins.

My publisher said it would've been better if I'd written it on paper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know penguins scream during sex?

Maybe not all of them?
But definitely the one I cornered at the zoo.

How does a penguin build a house?

**Igloos it together.**

An officer, a gentleman and a penguin.

One day a man is walking down a London street when he comes across a penguin. Not sure what to do, he picks up the penguin and continues his journey. A police patrol spots the man,
"What are you doing with that penguin!?" the officer asks
"I don't know...I just found it standing in the middle ...

A man runs into a bar and shouts, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?!”

The bartender says, “Depends. Less than 3 feet.”

The man cries out, “Oh my God! I just drove over a nun!”

A penguin grows tired of the cold winters in Alaska...

So he buys a used Corvette and heads south for warmer weather. About five hundred miles into the trip the Corvette starts to overheat.

He stops in a small town and finds a mechanic to get the issue fixed. The mechanic says he is not going to be able to look at the car for an hour, so the Pen...

The penguin joke (my favorite joke)

One day a Cop pulls a van over and when he walks up to the window he sees ten penguins in the back.

The cop asks the man "are those your penguins?"

The man Says "yes, they are my pets."

The cop replies to the man "You need to take them to the zoo right now."

So the man ag...

The penguin and the mechanic

A penguin is driving a rental car through Arizona when, suddenly, the air conditioner stops working. The penguin, frantic with the heat, swerves into the first car repair shop he sees.

Penguin jumps out yelling, "Quick, quick! Drop everything and fix my air conditioner. I'm literally dying...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did The Penguin say when he walked in on Batman masturbating?

“Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank!”

The Penguin Joke

A truck delivering penguins to the Zoo broke down a few miles from its destination. The driver flagged an empty truck down. He said hey Buddy can you help me out I need to get these penguins to the zoo in the next hour and the repair truck will be here in about the same time, could you help me out a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a prostitute...

A Man goes to a prostitute and asks for a blow job. She says it'll be $150.

He says "what can I get for $50?"

"A penguin."

He didn't know what a penguin was, but it was a bargain. He agrees and she pulls his pants and underwear to his ankles and begins to blow him. After a few...

A penguin broke down in Las Vegas.

A penguin was driving through Vegas when suddenly his car stopped working so he had it towed to the nearest mechanic.

When he got there the mechanic told him it could take an hour or two to find out what is wrong with his car. The penguin was getting hot so he asked the mechanic where he coul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penguin blowjob

I asked a prostitute for sex but she refused because I only had $5. She instead offered me a 'penguin blowjob'.
I had no idea what it was but thought for $5, that was a pretty good deal.

She took off my belt and lowered my trousers and underpants to my ankles and began sucking. As things ...

A penguin goes on vacation..

A penguin is driving his car through the country when it starts to smoke. He brings it to the local garage and asks the mechanic to look at it. The mechanic shakes his head and says, "I'll take a look, but it might take some time." The penguin shrugs and replies, "That's alright, I'll wander aroun...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penguin NSFW

A man walks into a seedy brothel. "What can i get for 5 bucks"? he asks. "Not much," the madam replies. "but i suppose you might get a penguin." The man isn't sure what a "penguin" is but, being desperate, he hands over his cash. The madam takes him to a back room and tells him to drop his pants. A ...

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...

...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin...

A penguin decides to take a road trip and drive across the country to see the world.

A penguin decides to take a road trip and drive across the country to see the world. So, he hops into his car and starts driving. He's cruising down the highway when suddenly, his car starts making strange noises, and smoke starts pouring out from under the hood.
Panicked, the penguin manages t...

They say penguins mate for their whole life

God knows where they get the stamina

A penguin is driving to the mall when all of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood..

Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.

He kills time walking around the mall, doe...

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender...

... "Have you seen my brother?"
The bartender says, "I don't know. What's he look like?"

What do you call a penguin with no eyes?

A Pengun.

Why did the Penguin get away with robbing the Gotham City Central Bank?

Because Batman doesn’t go downtown.

This is an old joke that my teacher told me when I was little and most people probably already know it but I remember loving it.

A police officer pulls over a man who has penguins in the backseat of the car.
"Sir you can't have penguins in your car. Bring them to the zoo or something," the police officer tells the man.
The next day, the police officer sees the man again. Again, the penguins are in the backseat of the c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns ...

A man is caught with the car full of penguins

the policeman says: "you have to take these animals to the zoo, or else I'll fine you!", the man agrees and leaves. The next day the same policeman again picks up the man with a car full of penguins.

The cop says: "didn't I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?". The man replies: "I took ...

The Russians just canceled their undercover Penguin program

they found out we have NAVY Seals

5 penguins in the back seat

Guy pulls up to a gas station, and the attendant notices there are 5 penguins in the back seat. Attendant says, "wtf - you have 5 penguins in your back seat."

"I KNOW!" the guy says, "They jumped in at the light, and now I don't know what to do."

Attendant thinks for a second and says,...

A man takes a stool at the bar and orders a drink. Then he asks the man to the right of him…

“How tall is a Penguin, this tall?”

“No, they’re much shorter than that”, he answers.

He looks to the man at his left- “How tall is a penguin, this tall?”

“Nowhere near that tall!”, says the other man.

The man puts his head in his hands.

The bartender, witnessing ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The "penguin"

A guy who's strapped for cash asks a prostitute what he can get for $10. She replies, "Well, for 10 bucks I'll give you a 'penguin.'" "Okay... Sure, I'll take it."

So she gets down on her knees, lowers his pants, and begins giving him a blowjob. But right before he is about to cum, she gets u...

A man finds a penguin walking down the street

He grabs the penguin and puts it in his car and starts to speed away when a cop pulls him over.

The cop walks up to the car and asks the man what he's doing with the penguin.

"He was just walking down the road," the man said.

"Well, take him to the zoo and I won't give you a ti...

I just finished writing my book on penguins. It was very difficult and tiresome, but I managed to finish it.

I probably should have taken some advice from friends and family which would have made this process much easier and write it on paper.

What are you doing with that penguin?

So this cop is waiting behind a billboard in the desert. He's just chilling in his car waiting for speeders to ticket when, all of a sudden, a man drives by at under the speed limit. The cop is about to let him pass, but then he sees the man has, of all things, a penguin in his shotgun seat!
The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Penguin

A Guy goes to a prostitute and asks what she can do. She asks him how much money does he have? The guy says, "Only $10." The prostitute says, "For $10, I can give you a penguin." The guy figures this is new lingo, so he pays her the money. In an alleyway, she pulls down his pants and starts blo...

In honor of my 7th cake day, I present to you, my Dad's favorite joke.

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs in...

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic because it has been running rough.

The mechanic tells the penguin that he can check it out to see what the problem is but it will take sometime.

The penguin says "okay," and he heads to the soda shop across the street and gets a soft serve.

After about an hour the penguin goes back to the auto shop. He ask the mechani...

Percy Penguin

One day Percy Penguin was driving into town when suddenly his car started making a funny noise and started smoking, fortunately there was a garage nearby so he quickly pulled in. He went in and told the mechanic what had happened, the mechanic said he would finish what he was doing in about ten minu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call penguins without a gun?

Penis

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, b...

A penguin in the desert

A penguin is driving through the desert when all of the sudden his car starts spewing smoke from under the hood and slows down. He manages to drive it to a small desert town and sees an auto mechanic’s shop and pulls in. The mechanic tells him he’s a little busy but can take a look at his car in a...

Man at the bus stop with a penguin

There was a policeman driving down the road and he spotted a man standing at the bus stop with a penguin.
The policeman stopped and said “Excuse me sir, is this your penguin?”
The man says “No it’s not my penguin” so the policeman says “Well can you take it to the zoo then.”
The next day t...

A Man Driving Down The Street Sees a Penguin

Apologies in advanced for spelling and grammar as I’m on my phone.

A man is driving down the street and sees a penguin on the side of the road. Curious he decides to pull over and pick it up. About that time a local police officer sees the two of them and decides to pull behind him as he’s l...

How do penguins open windows?

They drink wine

An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.

The aquarium staff begin to freak out as the swordfish begins to attack the penguin, but their fears are dispersed as the penguin manages to get the upper hand, and beat back its assaulter.

As the staff look on in stunned silence, one turns to the other. "I guess it's true, the penguin is mi...

What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

White penguins are walking towards you and black ones are walking away.

How does a penguin waiter take orders?

Waddle you be having.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican NSFW

When the Pope answers the door, Dopey steps forward and nervously asks "Your Excellency, I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No Dopey, I don't think there are," the Pope replies.

The other six dwarfs start to giggle.

"Well, are there any dwarf ...

There's a penguin driving through the desert when suddenly his car breaks down...

Spying a service station, he quickly pulls over and gets out to speak with the mechanic. The man agrees to fix the car, but tells the penguin to wait for an hour or so while he works. To pass the time, the penguin walk next door to a little ice cream shop and has a big ol' vanilla sundae while he ...

From my 4 year old: What do you call a penguin that can't win?

A peng-lose!

Why did the penguin make a fish pun?

Just for the halibut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penguin was driving through town

Heading up a small hill, his little penguin car started having trouble pulling the grade. Seeing a mechanic shop, he pulled in. He explain the issue to the mechanic, who tells him it will take about an hour for him to get to it. "So what am I supposed to do for an hour?", the penguin asked. THe mec...

What’s the difference between a penguin and a priest?

I’m not scared when my kids are alone with a penguin.

A penguin is driving down a desert road...

...when he hears a strange sound coming from his engine.

At the next town he pulls into the service shop and asks for help.

The mechanic says, “It’s gonna take about 20 minuets to check this out. You look pretty hot, you should go get an Ice Cream at the shop across the street to coo...

Why did the penguin get evicted from his house on the ice caps?

His property had been liquidated!

I'd tell a penguin joke but

It wouldn't fly

Jim is delivering a truckload of penguins to the zoo

His truck breaks down on the side of the highway and he has no clue what to do. Luckily a friendly fellow with another truck stopped and asked if the guy needed any help. Jim asks the man if he wouldn't mind taking the penguins to the zoo for him, and he would give him $100.

"Sure" the friend...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penguin

Went to a hooker but was low on funds. She said she would give me penguin sex at a discount. “What’s that “,I said .She proceeded to pull my pants around my ankles and give me a amazing hummer. But right when I was about to finish she quickly pulled away , leaving me chasing after with my pants stil...

Penguin

Last week I found a penguin in my street. Took it to the cops , they told me to take it to the zoo.
Saw the same cop yesterday, he asked how it went at the zoo. Told him the penguin loved it and we’re off to the cinema today.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins !" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little...

A man finds a penguin on the road...

A man finds a penguin on the road side. Thinking the penguin is lost the man takes it, drives until finding a police officer and asks what to do.
- Take it to the zoo replies the officer.

One week latter the policer officer sees the man driving with the penguin by his side.

Wha...

Three penguins walk into a bar

Three penguins walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Fellas! Who's getting married?!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the first dirty joke my dad ever told me

So Dopey and the other seven dwarves go to visit the pope. Doc goes up to the pope and asks, "Pope can you tell me, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?"

He thinks for a moment. "No", he says, "There are no dwarf nuns in the Vatican."

The other dwarves chuckle.

"Well can yo...

What did God say upon creating the penguin?

Well that'll never fly.

A penguin is on a long-deserved vacation from the zoo.

He decides to take a road trip out west, where his car breaks down. Luckily, it's right in front of a mechanic in town.

He drops the car off and tells the mechanic he's going to get some lunch. Its a really hot day, so after eating he stops by the ice cream shop for a little treat.

...

I tried to make a penguin fly once

Can’t say Delta was too happy about it!

I saw a man with a penguin on a leash

I saw a man walking with a penguin on a leash

I said to him "That penguin is a wild animal. You need to take it to the zoo."

The man thought for a moment and said "You are absolutely right. I'll take him now."

The next day I saw the man again. He was still walking the penguin on...

Revenge of the penguins

There is this large group of penguins living their peaceful, penguin lives.

One day, a ship crashes and sinks nearby. A polar bear swims to the ice from the sinking ship and quickly falls asleep, obviously exhausted from his ordeal.

The penguins, having never seen a polar bear, th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a penguin?

A man is walking down the street and is really horny. He goes to the
first brothel he sees but only has five dollars, so they kick him out.

The man goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars,
he gets kicked out again.

So by this time, he's really super horny,...

A penguin takes his car to the mechanic…

A penguin drives his car to the mechanic’s shop and says the engine is making a weird noise.

“Alright,” the mechanic says. “Give me a little bit and I’ll take a look. In the meantime, you can go to the ice cream shack across the street…”

The penguin went an ordered a vanilla ice crea...

Q. What do penguins wear on their heads?

Q. What do penguins wear on their heads?

A. Ice caps.

A penguin was driving down Route 66…

He started to have car trouble and broke down in the middle of the desert.

He called for a local tow truck, and they said they’d be there in about an hour, so the penguin sat and waited.

The tow truck finally came and drove the penguin and the car to the mechanic shop. The mechanic s...

(Tagged NSFW to be on the safe side)This penguin is out in a road trip.

You know, just seein’ the sights, being a tourist.

He gets out on the freeway and really opens ‘er up tearing siwn the road.

Suddenly, his car gives a pop, and smoke starts billowing out of his hood.

Cripes, he thinks, and he pulls off the freeway and slowly works his way to a m...

Two friends meet and one of them has a penguin...

Friend 1: My God it's been too long since we've seen each other brother how are you?
Friend 2: I know its good to see you..but tell me why there is a penguin beside you?

Friend 1: Yeah a found thus little guy and I have no idea what to do with him..

Friend 2: Don be dumb take him to...

A man goes into the doctor with a penguin on his head.

The doc asks. "And what can I do for you?."

Penguin replys. "Well Doc. It started as a growth on my foot...."

I walked into the psychiatrist office the other day with a penguin and an ice bear

Got diagnosed with being bipolar :(

A man is driving his penguins to the beach

A man had a minivan full of penguins, and is driving to the beach. On his way, a police officer see the minivan and pulls him over.

The officer walks up to the window, asks for license and registration. While he looks over the documents, he asks the driver, "What are you planning to do with a...

A penguin's car breaks down...

...and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with mess...

Penguin

A bartender was working late at night when suddenly a man ran bursting through the door and asked the bartender.

Man: "QUICK, HOW TALL IS A PENGUIN?"

The bartender slightly confused, he simply said.

Bartender: "about this tall"

The man started to panic and said.
...

A penguin is driving through the desert

The car begins to lurch and smoke pours from the hood. The penguin stops at a small gas station on the side of the otherwise desolate road. Luckily, a mechanic is available. "Give me a few minutes and I'll let you know what I find out" he tells the stranded penguin. So the penguin heads inside the g...

A penguin is driving his car through the desert

All of a sudden he finds himself broken down and he's in the middle of nowhere. He pushes his car all the way to the nearest mechanic, takes him days. By the time he arrives he's sweating like a pig, exhausted, basically just barely alive. The mechanic takes the car to his workshop and gets the peng...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penguins car breaks down

Okay so this penguins car breaks down in an area hes unfamiliar with

Penguin gets his car towed to the nearest shop. He asks the mechanic how long it should take. The mechanic says probably a few hours. The penguin asks if there's anything around he can do while he waits

Now, t...

What is a penguin’s favorite dancing style?

Pole Dancing

Some kids broke into Twycross zoo and threw a penguin into the lion's den

It was total carnage. They couldn't even get the wrapper off!

How do Penguins finish a race?

They Pengwin.

Who is a penguin's favorite family member?

Aunt Artica

So there is a penguin, they had a suit and tie.

Yet, no one said that they look fly.

A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar

Bartender: What are we even paying the bouncer for?

What's a penguin's favourite dog?

A bichon freeze

(I found this joke on the back of a McVities penguin)

A penguin is driving his car

When suddenly the car starts making rattling noises, smoke starts pouring from under the hood, and it continues to move forward by jumps and lurches. The Penguin sees an auto-shop up ahead and slowly pulls his car into the lot. The mechanic comes out and informs the penguin that's going to take ab...

What does a penguin lawyer order at a bar?

Just ice

A penguin is driving along...

A penguin is driving along when he starts having engine trouble, lights blinking...steam hissing..

He pulls over at the first repair shop he sees and the mechanic comes out to meet him. After a minute or two, the mechanic tells the penguin, "I'm a little backed up now, but if you give me a co...

A joke told by my Polish grandmother....

Two Russian policemen are walking down the road on patrol when they encounter a penguin crossing the street. One says to the other, "One of us should get him and take him to the zoo."

The other volunteers, tells the first to wait until he returns, picks up the penguin and heads off down th...

Penguin at the bar

A guy walks into a pub. He orders a pint at the bar and looks around the place. Suddenly, he noticed a penguin in a corner, reading a newspaper. The penguin then downs a pint next to him and leaves. The guy's so shocked he couldn't do anything. He runs to the bartender and goes:-What the hell was th...

A truck driver carrying 6 penguins got into an accident

A car driver stop by and ask if everybody is alright.

The truck driver says to the car driver if he could help and take the 6 penguins to the Zoo for him, while he fixes his truck. The car driver more than happy to help, takes the 6 penguins and leave.

Few days later, the t...

A penguin goes into a pub...

At the bar the peanuts say:
"Nice tie Mr!"
In the toilets the condom machine says :
"You look stupid in that tie"
So he complains to the barman. The barman says :
"the peanuts are complimentary but the condom machine is out of order"

This was the best jo...

A penguin walks into a bar.

Penguin: do you have any bread?
Bartender: no this is a bar, we serve beer, get out.
Next day, the penguin goes back into the same bar and sees the same bartender.
Penguin: do you have any bread?
Bartender: no, I told you yesterday, this is a bar, we serve beer, now get out.
The ne...

A Penguin Farmer Breaks Down

A penguin farmer breaks down on his way to take his penguins to the zoo. A man stops and asks if the farmer needs help. “Yes” he exclaims and offers the man some money to take his penguins to the zoo. The man agrees, hitches the trailer up to his truck, and takes the penguins into town. After about ...

How do you know if a penguin has corona?

It has to ice-olate

A penguin is having car trouble...

A penguin is having car trouble, so he stops by a mechanic's shop for some repairs. He tells him he will need about an hour to find out what's wrong. The penguin walks downtown and it's a hot day, so he stops to get some ice cream. He doesn't have any arms to eat the ice cream with, so he just stick...

Another Penguin Joke

A police officer sees an old man walking down the street with a penguin under his arm. He stops the man and says, “Where did you get that penguin?” and the old man replies, “Oh, I found him a few days ago on a walk through the park, he’s my new friend!”

The officer tells the old man, “Sir, I...

American politics is like a penguin.

It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penguin blew a seal

Penguin stops at a mechanic because of a noise his car makes.
Mechanic-It'll be an hour before I can figure it out, head to the store across the street and get something to pass the time. So the penguin goes and grabs an ice cream cone, but without opposable thumbs its hard not to make a mess. ...

A penguin has car trouble

He calls a tow truck and rides with the driver to a service station. Inside they also sell snacks, so he buys two ice cream sandwiches. He scarfs then both down and walks out to check on his car, neglecting to wipe his face. He asks the mechanic “what’s this issue?” The mechanic responds, “it looks ...

Why do penguins never get married?

They always get cold feet

Friends are like penguins

If you stab a penguin, it will die

A penguin is driving along route 66

And notices his car is acting up. So he rolls over to the first garage he finds and asks the mechanic to fix it for him. The mechanic looks at the car and says it may take a few hours to find the problem to which the penguin agrees.

While waiting the penguin decides its very hot and he'd lov...

Penguin Needs Car Repairs

A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and th...

A penguin is driving to a job interview...

A penguin is driving to a job interview when suddenly he sees smoke coming from the hood of his car. Stressed and angry because he might be late, he pulls into an autoshop. The mechanic assures him: "Don't worry, these things are usually easy to fix. Go across the street and get yourself a coffee, c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, a penguin is driving down the road...

So, a penguin is driving down the road in his truck. His truck starts to sputter, so he pulls into a town and finds a mechanic shop. The mechanic says, "Well Mr. Penguin you should go downtown and get something to eat while I see what is wrong with your truck here."
"Great idea!" says Mr. Penguin...

Penguin car trouble...

A penguin is driving his car when it starts to make an odd sound, so he pulls into a local auto garage and asks to have it looked at. The mechanic says it will take a while, so the penguin goes for a walk. The penguin is gone for some time, and on his way back decides to stop for ice cream. As so...

A penguin runs into a bar...

Breathless with panic he catches the barman’s attention and says- “ excuse me sir but my brother has went missing, have you seen him?” To which the barman replies “what does he look like?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penguin walks into a bar

And orders a glass of coke. The bar tender slides the penguin a cool can. The penguin immediately slides the can back. “Bartender, I do believe I ordered a glass.” Confused, the bar tender pours a glass of Coca Cola and the penguin gets up. A man stops the penguin and asks “Why wasn’t a can ok?” The...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.