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Obtains Jokes

A kid sees a homeless guy begging on the street,

And gets to chatting with him. The guy is nice enough but obtains from the conversation that the lad is off to put some money in the bank, and asks as the kids gets up to go.

"So, can you spare a few of those dollars, kid?"

"Are you going to use it on drugs?"

"No sir, food a...

An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.

He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.

He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.

When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer...

Came up with this a while back, and found it today. I cleaned it up a bit:

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer can't take it anymore and decide to commit suicide.

The biologist reviews some data and determines the impact velocity required to kill a human. He the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over...

A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over by a police officer.

As the officer approaches the car, the drunk man jumps out of the door and tries to make a run for it. The cop, furious, catches up to the drunk man and brings him back to his car.

The officer proceeds to reach into...

Farm Animal Band

So there is a farmer who owns many livestock, and also a singing horse. Little does he know, there are more musical talents on his farm. One day, the horse walks past one of the cows, singing, and the cow interrupts him and says; "hey horse, you know I can play the drums!" The horse looks at him que...

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