A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Shiner...
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."...
When the person who mugs you only finds a dollar in your pocket
John is on his way home late at night when he's attacked by a mugger. After a great struggle, the mugger overcomes him, searches his pockets, but only finds a single dollar.
"What sort of guy puts up a fight like that for just a dollar?" says the mugger.
"I'm not that stupid," says Jo...
A man calls the police and reports that his girlfriend has gone missing
A male and a female police officer turn up at his house and begin to interview him. The female officer asks the man if he has any theories on where she might be. The man responds with “This is going to sound weird but I think she disappeared into the magic coffee table” The officers look confused...
A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.
"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"
The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.
"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...
I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...
I really need to wash some mugs.
Why did the German physicist keep getting mugs for his birthday?
He only had ein stein.
I had a customer who used to come to my pub regularly to drink 4 mugs of beer each day.
I had a customer who used to come to my pub regularly to drink 4 mugs of beer each day.
Out of curiosity, I asked him why always 4?
He answered, ' I have 3 brothers, we used to drink beer regularly and now they have moved to another side of the world and to celebrate our brotherhood ev...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An American, Englishman, and an Irishman all have mugs of beer in front of them.
It's discovered that all three mugs each have one housefly in them. The American takes the fly out and drinks his beer. The Englishman explains the situation to the bartender and asks for a new beer. The Irishman picks the fly up by its wings and goes, "Spit it out, ya sonofabitch!"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first orders a mug, the second a half, the third a quarter, and so on. The bartender pours them 2 whole mugs and says, "sort it out yourselves."
3 blondes walk into a police station...
And we're looking for jobs as detectives.
They meet with the police chief who says, "I'm going to show you a side mugshot of a man and you need to tell me something interesting about him."
He shows the picture to the first blonde and she says, "He's only got one eye". The police chief...
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