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Chump Jokes

$1? That's chump change. But a million dollars?

That's Trump change.

Some chump in an orange apron in B&Q just asked me if I wanted decking...

Fortunately I got the first punch in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A cucumber a pickle and a penis are chatting

About how hard life is.

The cucumber says you both got it easy they chop me up and put me in salads.

The pickle pipes up and says no way, my life is way harder I was once big and strong like you cucumber, but I've been drowned in a jar of vinigar until I shrivel up and become this mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?

He has the white cane with the red end you unfunny, reposting, karma whoring chumps.

My wife thinks I don't pull up far enough at the gas station.

She calls me a two pump chump.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his Parrot

A man is looking through a pet store and sees a parrot for dirt cheap, he thinks to himself, "eh, what the hell, I'll buy it." He gets it home and setup in a nice comfy cage and the first thing the bird says "Fuck you chump." the man is aghast but lets it go. A few minutes later the bird is at it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman makes a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power, but doesn't want to go to Hell.

The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed.

She goes onto be the best stockbroker in her city, giving her a near bottomless checkbook and connections to lawmakers, celebrities, anyone with even a scrap of power in the city.


Almo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting th...

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