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Chump Jokes

$1? That's chump change. But a million dollars?

That's Trump change.

Some chump in an orange apron in B&Q just asked me if I wanted decking...

Fortunately I got the first punch in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you spot a blind guy at a beach?

He has the white cane with the red end you unfunny, reposting, karma whoring chumps.

My wife thinks I don't pull up far enough at the gas station.

She calls me a two pump chump.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his Parrot

A man is looking through a pet store and sees a parrot for dirt cheap, he thinks to himself, "eh, what the hell, I'll buy it." He gets it home and setup in a nice comfy cage and the first thing the bird says " you chump." the man is aghast but lets it go. A few minutes later the bird is at it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman makes a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power, but doesn't want to go to Hell.

The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed.

She goes onto be the best stockbroker in her city, giving her a near bottomless checkbook and connections to lawmakers, celebrities, anyone with even a scrap of power in the city.


Almo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting th...
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