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Coffee Mug Jokes

Why is it smart to ask your coffee mug for advice?

Because it always has a handle on every thing.

What do you call it when you accidentally put Vietnamese noodles in a coffee mug instead of a bowl?

A pho cup.

So on the way home my coffee mug was stolen

I guess you could say I was mugged

Courtesy of my 6-year-old: How does a coffee mug fight off dementors?

Espresso patronum

A man died this morning when he fell asleep and drown in his oversized coffee mug. But he didn't suffer

it was instant

A mathematician and his colleague go to a diner…

Professor Wilkins, a professor of topology, and his colleague, Professor Thompson of the statistics department, go to a diner near their building for lunch.

“So, what do you figure the chances are that I can get a free donut with lunch if I ask the waitress nicely?” asked Wilkins.

“Fre...

Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

- You ski uphill.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

- You're the employee of ...

If there’s one very thing that I’ve learned during this unprecedented week of events in America...

It’s that I have the same coffee mug as Nancy Pelosi.

Thai-English bilingual Nintendo joke

What does a Thai man say when he can't find the coffee mug from which he always drinks while customizing his avatar on his Nintendo Wii?

*Mai mii khap!*

How can you tell if someone is a topologist?

He can't tell the difference between a donut and a coffee mug

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Participation ribbons aren’t useless

The one in my cup holder keeps my coffee mug from rattling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy dies and goes to hell. The devil says he can choose his punishment.

Before him are three doors, leading to the different areas of hell where punishments are handed out. In the first room, the floor is covered with smoldering embers. A few dozen people are in the room, all in terrible agony from being forced to walk around barefoot on the hot coals. "Nah, too hot"...

Walking through San Francisco 's Chinatown ,

a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners......When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.'

'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered. "How does that belong in Chinatown ?"

He walked int...

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