Toby Jokes - 18 Hilarious Toby Jokes

Don't trust people called Toby

They are tobiased

Genie: What’s your first wish?

Toby: I wish I was Rich.

Genie: Granted, what’s your second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?

The front row of a Toby Keith concert.

Toby is late to his piano lesson, on a scorching summer day

He quickly sits down and plays his first piece, panting and out of breath.

His teacher says "Mr. Klein, that was terrible! Relax and try again."

Toby takes a deep breath and plays the piece again, but his teacher says, "That is still awful Mr. Klein! Try playing it in another key".
...

Mr. Johnson was playing in his frontyard with his fav grandson Toby when he saw Toby's teacher approaching

Mr. Johnson : "Toby go hide now, boy. It's your teacher. Aren't you skipping school?"

Toby : "Oh no! You go hide grandpa! Quick! Now!"

Mr. Johnson "Why should I? You're the one skipping school here!"

Toby : "That's the problem, grandpa. I told Mr. Anderson you died this morning....

If I were locked in a room with Toby Flenderson and Vladimir Putin and had a gun with two bullets…

I’d shoot Putin twice.

Spiderman (Toby Maguire) wasn't funny a bit.

He was always terrible at delivery.

Did you hear ? Toby died while Chuck was laughing at him.

I probably think it was a manslaughter.

If you can spell...

A first grade teacher is bringing her class in from recess.

Teacher: Jimmy, what did you do outside?

Jimmy: I played in the sandbox

Teacher: Wonderful! If you can spell "sand", you will get a cookie! What did you do Sally?

Sally: I played in the sandbox with Jimmy.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at McDonald's the first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practise and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it's Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby...

If I ever have to choose who dies, my mother or my dog, Toby's gotta go...

...straight for the throat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Detective Shakespeare and his new partner Jameson are on a case...

the Murder of a young man named Jonathan, Detective Shakespeare arrives first and asks the neighbors and the witnesses, he writes the name of 10 people as suspects, after further investigations, he narrows the number of suspects down to 2 young men, Maximilianus and Tobias, then Jameson, who oversle...

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The English substitute

A school teacher came down with a bad case of the flu and asked the school for a substitute for her class.
The school also had to train a new intern, so they killed two birds with one stone and made the intern take the class.

Problem was though, the intern didn’t know English literatur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Slave and Master

A slave is working out on the cotton plantation one hot day and the master approached him.

"Say, Toby, I'm gonna use the outhouse, so I expect to see at least another barrel filled with cotton befo' I get back,"the master said.

"Yessuh, massa," Toby replied.

So the master went...

3 friends die and go to heaven...

Three friends are on a road trip and crash a die. At the gates of St. Peter the first on is called up by St. Peter. St. Peter tell the first friend, John, "You cheated on your wife 12 times?" John admits this. "John is then handed keys to a Honda." John asks Peter what they keys are for and he repli...

To be or not to be

Oh sorry Dave I thought you were my friend toby...

What do you call a bee with a toe?

"Toby"

I asked a Spanish teacher to translate this sentence

"Me llamo comprar"
She looked at me confused and said
"Your name is to buy?"
"It's pronounced Toby"

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