It’s 10pm when the phone rings in Dr. Stein’s house.

"It’s Dr. Gold," says his wife, passing him the phone, "I do hope it’s not another emergency."

Dr. Stein takes the phone and says, "Hi, what’s up?"

"Don’t worry, everything’s OK," replies Dr. Gold. "It’s just that I’m at home with Dr. Lewis and Dr. Kosiner. We’re having a little game...

Why is a German stone intelligent?

Because its not just a stone, it's ein Stein

I voted for Jill Stein

Finally I'm part of the 1%

Jill Stein talks to her intern about recent news

Jill: This whole Epstein thing is very suspicious. We should call for an investigation?

Intern: What’s Epstein?

Jill: Not much, you?

Dr. Jill Stein plans on marrying former senator Al Franken.

She will run for president in 2020 as Dr. Franken-Stein.

What do you call a German scientist who runs out of beer glasses?

Nein Stein

How much do geniuses weigh?

Ein stein!

Why did Jill Stein try to censor a movie where the hero uses a shop vacuum to save people?

Because she doesn't want anyone to think there's such a thing as good vac scenes.

A guy walks into a fabulously hip gastro pub

A guy walks into a fabulously hip gastro pub that only specializes in craft-made IPAs and locally brewed beers. He carries in his own German-made beer mug and pops it up on the bar. "Pour me a Bud Light!" he says. " The waitress recoils and looks to the bartender for guidance. "Fill His Stein," the ...

Which monster loves April Fools jokes

Pranken-stein!

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein

What do you call a monster with a hot dog in his beer mug?

Frank-in-stein

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Program for a mobile device. 3 letters

Wife: App

Husband: Common Jewish surname, 5 letters

Wife: Stein

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Male poss...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Time is a circle

H: You don't understand. These guys keep popping out of nowhere, in futuristic garb, yelling in some foreign languages i don't understand except for "Berg this and Stein that", trying to kill me. I have no idea whats going on and I'm constantly afraid. It just doesn't stop. They tried to kill me as ...

A German theoretical physicist walks into a bar.

He orders himself ein Stein.

If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be...

Franken Stein 2020

[musician joke] Kid says to dad, "Dad, I want to be a musician when I grow up."

His father replies, "Sorry, Son: You can't have it both ways."

[attrib: Andy Stein on one of the PHC "Joke Shows"]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the new wine bar in Hollywood?

You get a free drink served in a traditional German mug if you let the bartender grab your ass. It's called "Wine Steins."

A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest...

He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says,

"Ein Stein".

Why can't Einstein build a wall?

He only has ein stein

What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

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