Stein Jokes

Finally I'm part of the 1%

"It’s Dr. Gold," says his wife, passing him the phone, "I do hope it’s not another emergency."

Dr. Stein takes the phone and says, "Hi, what’s up?"

"Don’t worry, everything’s OK," replies Dr. Gold. "It’s just that I’m at home with Dr. Lewis and Dr. Kosiner. We’re having a little game... read more

Jill: This whole Epstein thing is very suspicious. We should call for an investigation?

Intern: What’s Epstein?

Jill: Not much, you?

She will run for president in 2020 as Dr. Franken-Stein.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give... read more

And orders a stein of beer. The bar is very busy and so he gives his name and is given an order number (number one) - and goes to sit down.

Some time later the server, who is new and still learning, comes over with two steins of beer and announces "order two - Wolfgang - two steins". Seeing o... read more

Because she doesn't want anyone to think there's such a thing as good vac scenes.

_Ein_ stein.

He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says,

"Ein Stein".

Nein Stein

They order a round for everyone, and one of them hoists his stein up and says "Fourteen months!" And they all cheer and drink.

They all finish their rounds, and order another. They cheer "Fourteen months!" And drink. And more cheering, and more drinking, and each time one of them says "Fo... read more

Pranken-stein!

Ein stein!

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein

A guy walks into a fabulously hip gastro pub that only specializes in craft-made IPAs and locally brewed beers. He carries in his own German-made beer mug and pops it up on the bar. "Pour me a Bud Light!" he says. " The waitress recoils and looks to the bartender for guidance. "Fill His Stein," the ... read more

A group of older veterans had all gotten together after not seeing one another for many years. When they met up they all learned that one of their buddies had passed away right before the get together was scheduled and his wife showed up with his ashes and her husbands request for all the guys. <... read more

He orders himself ein Stein.

Franken Stein 2020

Husband: Program for a mobile device. 3 letters

Wife: App

Husband: Common Jewish surname, 5 letters

Wife: Stein

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Male poss... read more

His father replies, "Sorry, Son: You can't have it both ways."

[attrib: Andy Stein on one of the PHC "Joke Shows"]

He only has ein stein