This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser?

Depth perception.

Which flowers are the best kissers?

Tu-lips.

My girlfriend just texted me saying I’m a bad kisser

Wait a minute, I’m getting another text. She said “oops, wrong person”

Thank god there is nothing wrong with our relationship

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

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Three Hobos are hunkered down around a jungle fire by the railroad tracks

Reminiscing about the windfalls they'd found in their years riding the rails and living the vagabond life. The first hobo said:

"This one time, a train stopped, and I found a whole case of pork and beans. Took some strength to haul it off and hide it, but I had enough chow to make it through ...

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If your boss tests positive for the Coronavirus...

Does that mean all the ass kissers in the office have to get tested as well?

A lot of people think my father was weird

But he was a lovely man, and a great kisser

Dating a French Horn player

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tub...

A Blonde a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar

The bartender looks up and says hi ladies. I’m running a new contest. You have a chance to win a million dollars, new car or free drinks for a year.

He points to a mirror at the wall. “ That’s a magic mirror! You just have to look into the Mirror and say something about yourself but it has t...

When I was younger, everyone used to say they thought my Dad was a bit weird.

But they were wrong, he was a wonderful father and a great kisser.

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My girlfriend had sex with her ex, instead of breaking up with her I did the same thing.

For the record he said I'm a much better kisser.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Horse Names banned by the British Horse Racing Authority

Chit Hot

Chocolate Starfish

Choke the Chicken

Curl One Off

Dick Face

Harry Azzol

Harry Balls

Harry Monk

Hugh G Dildeaux

Hugh G Rection

Hugh Gass Kisser

Hugh Gorgy

Hugh Janus

Ima Hoare

Ima Goodlay
...

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