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Kisser Jokes

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What's the difference between an ass-kisser and a brown-nose?

Depth perception.

Which flowers are the best kissers?

Tu-lips.

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(Just made this one up myself!) How do you know butterflies are good kissers??

They have a proboscis (Pro - Boss - Kiss)!!

My son ( u/BirdsongBossMusic) is a sophomore in college and sent me pics of all the cool things from his Zoology lab today, including the aforementioned butterfly nose. I just thought about what a funny word "proboscis" is and, well, the rest is...

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

My girlfriend just texted me saying I’m a bad kisser

Wait a minute, I’m getting another text. She said “oops, wrong person”

Thank god there is nothing wrong with our relationship

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your boss tests positive for the Coronavirus...

Does that mean all the ass kissers in the office have to get tested as well?

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From an old cowboy who frequents my watering hole (hopefully not too country for y'all)

A woman from New York dreams of one day exploring the wild west. After a year of saving and pinching pennies she finally has enough money to make her dreams come true.

After an exciting three weeks she returns home and meets with her girlfriend for drinks.

Her girlfriend asks "How wa...

A lot of people think my father was weird

But he was a lovely man, and a great kisser

The Artemis mission is a success, two astronauts land on the moon.

The astronauts are exploring the surface and collecting samples. The mission is going well, but one of the astronauts notices something strange in the distance.

"Hey, what's that thing on the ground?" the astronaut points.

They cannot make out what it is, so the two astronauts approac...

When I was younger, everyone used to say they thought my Dad was a bit weird.

But they were wrong, he was a wonderful father and a great kisser.

Dating a French Horn player

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"

"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."

The next night she went out with a tub...

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My girlfriend had sex with her ex, instead of breaking up with her I did the same thing.

For the record he said I'm a much better kisser.

A Blonde a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar

The bartender looks up and says hi ladies. I’m running a new contest. You have a chance to win a million dollars, new car or free drinks for a year.

He points to a mirror at the wall. “ That’s a magic mirror! You just have to look into the Mirror and say something about yourself but it has t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Horse Names banned by the British Horse Racing Authority

Chit Hot

Chocolate Starfish

Choke the Chicken

Curl One Off

Dick Face

Harry Azzol

Harry Balls

Harry Monk

Hugh G Dildeaux

Hugh G Rection

Hugh Gass Kisser

Hugh Gorgy

Hugh Janus

Ima Hoare

Ima Goodlay
...

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