UPJOKE
potteryglassmetalclayceramicsporcelaintilebricksemiconductortoughnessplasticityfigurinedecorativeplasticengineering

I am addicted to smashing up ceramic bathrooms.

I have a wreck tile dysfunction.

At the ceramic tile factory they have employee parties where they make the tiles stand on edge. Instead of commending the skill involved they make fun of eachother.

It is an erect tile diss function.

My ceramics teacher came into class so drunk he fell into the kiln.

He got fired.

I had to leave my job at the ceramics factory when they introduced the new equestrian range.

It was turning into a horse tile work environment.

Breaking News!

I just dropped a ceramic plate.

It's white, it's ceramic, and it taps on your door.

Let that sink in.

My ceramics teacher was excellent.

Day after day, she was always kiln it.

My ex was a ceramic artist who painted a portrait of me on a black plate. After we broke up, it was all I could stare at.

**I was in a dark plate.**

What do you call it when the inventor of the ceramic knee replacement gets a metal knee replacement?

Iron-knee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guys, I'm gonna be posing nude for art class today!

Nobody asked me to. I think they're making ceramic cups. Wish me luck!

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

Go ahead, bake my clay.

*walks away slowly*

Did you hear about the magical gorilla taking ceramics class at Hogwarts?

It's a Hairy Potter.

I made a ceramic sculpture of Mohammed Ali but it exploded in the kiln.

It was gaseous clay

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked to pose nude for an art class. They said I had the perfect body.

Okay, it was a ceramics class, and they were making ashtrays, but ...still

I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now.

He replied that he was currently working on:

\*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment\*

I was impressed......

On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.

A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank looking to get a loan, and goes up to the teller and sees her little name tag, wich reads "Patricia wack" then the frog says "my name's Kermit jagger, son of mick jagger, and I'm looking for a loan of $30,000"

And the teller says "Wow, that's a lot, do you have anyth...

A frog goes into a bank

He hops up on the desk of the loan officer.
''Hi,'' he croaks.''What's your name?'

The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?''

''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.''

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form....

A frog walks into a bank.

The frog hops up on the counter of the nearest available teller and says "I want a loan."

Confused, the teller asks for the frog's name.

"My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Rolling Stone's legend Mick Jagger, and I want a loan" he says. "And what is **YOUR** name?"

"My name is Pat...

A frog goes to get a bank loan.

He hops up on the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.”

Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot!”

Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.”

“That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs som...

A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller. He sees the tellers name tag read Paddy Black and says

"I'd like to take out a loan, Mrs. Black"

"Certainly," says the teller, "how much would that be for?"

"One million dollars." replies the frog. "Don't worry, it's ok, I kn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first OC joke. (Long)

A man walks into an antique shop. He approaches the female cashier and
asks, “Is this your store?”

She nods her head, “My parents owned it for a few decades, I had since inherited it.”

The man then asks her, “Would you like to see a magic trick?”

The woman, barley amused, dec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I called my friend yesterday

I called my friend yesterday night at 10.30 pm on phone, he said he was very busy, working on a special Project "Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed.

Later I realized - fucker is washing dishes , under the supervisi...

Kermit the frog walks into a bank to request a loan.

Kermit the frog walks into a bank to request a loan.
He meets the loan officer whose name is Mr. Paddywack. Paddywack says what can I do for you Kermit?
Kermit says I'd like to get a loan for $20,000.
Well that's a lot of money Kermit. What kind of collateral do you have asks Paddywack....

A frog walks into a bank to get a loan...

He goes up to the lady behind the counter, and noticing her name tag, the frog says, "Hi, Mrs. Whack. I'd like to take out a loan."

She says "Well I don't know. We don't normally give out loans to frogs."

The frog says "Well, I want a loan."

She says "alright, well what's yo...

What is an engineer's first job out of highschool?

Aquathermic treatment of ceramics aluminum and steel in a controlled environment.

Or to put it in lamer's terms: washing dishes while his boss is watching.

A dog walks into a bank and asks for a loan...

The teller says "What collateral are you offering?"

The dog leans across the the counter, looks at his name tag and says "Here's the thing Mr. Wakk, can I call you Patrick? I'm actually Keith Richard's son. So you know I'm good for it."

The teller says "I'm sorry Mr. Dog we're still go...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.