UPJOKE
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Why do Nature Valley Granola Bars make good trail food?

Because they go fucking-everywhere! When you eat them.

During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended

The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.

It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,

along with 750,000 cans of beer,

100,000 hot dogs,

15,000 pounds of granola,<...

My life is like a Nature Valley Granola bar

It keeps crumbling apart

What is a lemmings favorite granola bar?

A clif bar

Native American name - a true story

25 years ago, I worked with a guy named Kee Smith (last name changed here... this is really a real story). Kee was sort of a crunchy granola type of European ancestry. Eventually, he told the story about his unusual name.

He said he was born on a reservation, and he was placed in a bassinet...

That's not a bowling ball, dad.

This weekend me and my dad were out bowling, you see. He gets his shoes on, and picks his ball from the rack. A nice, shiny, pinkish purple ball. He throws it down the lane, and we can't find it. The thing is gone. We look for at least an hour for this ball, but it's vanished. In the car on the way ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up

A man wakes up in a dimly lit room with three doors. On each door, there is a picture of a different type of food. The first door has a picture of eggs, second has a picture of cereal and the third has a picture of beans.

The man decides to try the first door, so he opens it. Behind it is a ...

Dirty Ernie was in school and the teacher says “let’s do description and guessing, Tammy, reach in this bag and describe what you feel” Tammy reaches inside and says “ it’s round and

firm I think it’s a ball “ the teacher says “no! It’s an orange”Johnny comes up next and reaches in “ it’s rectangular and firm it’s an eraser!” Teacher goes no “It’s a granola bar” dirty Ernie stands up and goes “ teacher I’m reaching in my pocket abd felling something long hard with a firm pink ti...

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