I bought minced meat but forgot to pay the butcher

He now has a beef with me

ME: Is it "mince meat" or "minced meat"?

**NEIGHBOUR:** What? Did you find my cat or not?

**ME:** I'm getting to that

My mother has been teaching me how to make my favourite meals, but there's one that I just can't seem to get right.

I'm great at lasagne, fantastic with casseroles but as soon as I get my hands on minced beef and beans..

It's chilli-con-carnage.

Did you hear about the family of onions that died?

They will be forever minced.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Oi, you!”

“Sheep shagger!” yelled the man as Llewelyn Jones walked down the high street, pointedly ignoring him.

“Yeah you, sheep shagger! Fucking sheep shagger!” slurred the man, before throwing his beer can into some petunia bushes and stumbling off in the other direction.

“The youth of today...

Rest in peace, garlic.

You will be minced.

Red sky at night; shepherds delight, red sky in morning; shepherds warning

Minced lamb, potato, onion and carrot; shepherd's pie.

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