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Pepper Jokes

Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?

Because it didn't habanero.

I got hit in the head with a can of Dr. Pepper today

Luckily I’m not hurt, it was a soft drink

My grandfather says he survived mustard gas and pepper sprays during war.

He's a seasoned veteran.

What kind of doctor was Dr. Pepper?

A FIZZICIAN.

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady on the bus next to me this morning was sneezing, about every 3 minutes...

Each time she sneezed, her eyes rolled back, she gave a moan and shuddered.
Curiosity got the better of me after about 15 minutes, so I asked her if she was alright. She said, "Yes". Then she explained she had a very rare condition, whereby every time she sneezed, she had an orgasm!
I asked if...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"



The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"



The American ...

I heard a joke about getting pepper sprayed.

It was a macing.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeño business.

Why did the baby bell pepper put on a sweater?

Because it was a little chili.

How do you check the weight of a Red Hot Chilli Pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed

I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?

A pepperonly pizza!

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

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A man was sitting next to a woman on an airplane who after everytime she coughed she would loudly moan

After the 3rd time the man asked the woman if she was ok.

The woman responsed that she had a condition where after every time she coughed she would have an orgasm.

The man said that's terrible and asked the woman if she was taking anything for it.

The woman responsed just pepp...

Pepper

I bought a womble pepper grinder for my mum today, but she keeps complaining that the pepper is either underground or overground.

what do you call a pepper sprayed Walter White?

Eyesinburn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Life’s like a box of jalapeño peppers. What you do today…

might burn your ass tomorrow

Pepper and salt shakers.

True story - happened at a restaurant this afternoon with my 4 year old daughter L.


L, pointing to the stainless steel shakers: How do you know which is salt and which is pepper?

Me: Look at the holes on top. If it is the letter S, it's salt. If it is the letter P, it's pepper.
...

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

what did the archer ask the pepper?

"do you habanero?"

I thought of this tonight making dinner. I'm sure someone has thought of this before me, but figured I would share anyway.

What do angry peppers do??

They get jalapeno face!!

What kind of doctor is Dr. pepper?

A fizzician!


I’ll see myself out






Edit: I guess adding mentos to this joke was a good idea...

Thanks for the gold and silvers!

Happy New Years y’all!

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!"

He asks the bartender, "What's this 'test' you have?"
The bartender says, "Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequilla. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gotta g...

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The pepper, the pickle, and the penis

Commiserating together at the bar are a pepper, a pickle, and a penis.

The pepper says, “Nobody understands the hell I’ve been through. When you’re a pepper, they take you in the prime of your life and throw you on a hot, tin roof to suffer in the sun until you’re a husk of your former self.”...

What did the nosey pepper do?

Got jalapeños buisness!

Why don't you want to be friends with a pepper?

Because they're always jalapeño business.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other on an aeroplane.

The woman sneezes and right after she is done she shudders and moans.

The man asks,"Are you alright? Because the sneezing seems normal but the shuddering and shivers... Not very much."

The woman replies,"Oh yeah, I have this rare condition where I orgasm every time sneeze."

\-"T...

How do great scientists like to eat their peppers?

All fried. No bell.

Why did Pepper go to prison?

A-SALT



I made this joke years ago, I hope y'all like it.

Love is like a Ghost Pepper, you taste it with delight.

And when it's gone you wonder, what ever made you bite.

Why did pepper go to jail?

A salt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?

He hates it when it's high ground.

A black pepper and a white pepper walk into a bar

After a while the black pepper notices the white pepper looking at him all crazy and says "Whacha lookin at?"

And the white pepper says "ACHOOOO!"

Did you know dr pepper was based off a real doctor?

He was a fizzican

What's a sure-fire method to figure out precisely how many grams a chili pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

What does an annoying pepper do

It gets jalepeno face.

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