What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?

Push it aside and keep on eating...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between pussy and parsley?

Nobody eats parsley

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What’s the difference between parsley and pussy?

People don’t eat parsley.

A guy I work with was fired for stealing parsley..

They didn't fire him exactly, but they did garnish his wages.

Why did the man quit his job at the organic parsley farm?

They kept garnishing his paycheck.

What is green, and sings

Elvis Parsley

I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle...

..it became herby.

Did you hear about the cook who stole parsley from his restaurant?

They had to [garnish](http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/garnish) his wages.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan.

The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass.

"What in the world is this?"

The bartender says, "Central Park."

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A homeless man walks into a restaurant...

He sits down at a table and asks to speak to the manager. The manager walks over to the man and says

"Can I help you?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I have no money to pay for a meal. But I want to make a little wager with you. I want you to take any spoon that you want and then I ...

It's mayhem in the kitchen, and two chefs are at each other's throats over a botched order....

"I told you the manager wanted cod seasoned with parsley!" yelled the first chef, brandisihing a butcher's knife.

"Well I told you that he wanted mackerel seasoned with paprika!" yelled the other, grabbing a pan of hot oil.

At that point the manager walked in holding a plate, just as b...

what is a vegetable's favorite singer?

elvis parsley

what is a fly's favorite singer?

gnat king cole

The IRS is going to start garnishing my wages.

I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck.

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