Why do british people pronounce water as “wa ah?”

They don’t want to have t in the water again

What word do people almost always pronounce incorrectly?

Incorrectly

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

“BOOM"

I hope that blew your minds

Why can’t the British pronounce there t’s correctly

Because the Americans dumped it all

How do you pronounce "banana split"?

Ban-ana

TIL that sugar is the only word starting with “S” that’s pronounced “Sh”. At least, I’m pretty sure.

Total repost, just thought it was funny and people should see it again.

Why do British people pronounce British without the tea?

Because they drank it

Why don’t the bri-ish pronounce the t?

They fooking drank it all.

I just found out that the name Niamh is pronounced Neve.

I couldn't beliamh it!

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

"BOOM"



I hope that blew your minds

When British people pronounce words like “Water” they say it like “Wuh-er”. So what happened to the T?

They drank it

English is weird. Sometimes the letter 'c' is pronounced like 's', but other times not.

Source: course

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you pronounce "fuck off" backwards.

you say it in a British accent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son adorably can't pronounce Ks and they always come out as Ts...

... it was all cute until he asked my neighbour if he could "stroke her titties".

fun fact : you can't pronounce "O" while biting your lower lip

again, louder baby

Her: I'm sorry sir, your dad was pronounced dead.

Me: I can't believe I've been pronouncing it wrong all this time!

Can you please tell me how to pronounce the variable y subscripted by a zero?

Sure, why not.

Where are we?

Not mine:

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before w...

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

My wife says I can't pronounce Frederick properly.

**DOCTOR:** What? Can you say it again?

**ME:** Frederick

**DOCTOR:** Your pronunciation is perfect, tell your wife that you don't have any problem with that.

**MY WIFE:** What did the doctor said?

**ME:** The doctor said that there is nothing wrong with my pronunciation ...

I named my daughter jkmn

It's pronounced noel

What do a guy who likes fruit and a cannibalistic Central American who can’t pronounce the letter G have in common?

They both love eating Watahmalans

What's the difference between a physicist and the HR department?

The way they pronounce "unionized".

How do you pronounce that word?

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.


A particularly beautiful waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order,


"What would you like, sir?


"He looks at...

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, ‟unionized”.

A few friends are about to get to Louisville and they start arguing over how it's pronounced.

One says it's Lewis-Ville. The next one says the locals say Lew-ville and the last one says Lewie-ville. After arguing for a few minutes they see a place to get some lunch. They can't wait to ask one of the employees how they say it to prove who's right. They all go up to the counter and one says, "...

How do you pronounce a Welsh town?

Caerphilly

It’s pronounced school

Not shooting range

As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July.

It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."

The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.

"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

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My girlfriend and I just had an argument about posting our sextape, from start to finish online.

Is it pronounced Jif (like peanutbutter) or Gif (like gift)?

Going out to dinner

Joe and Kamala went to a diner to get a bite to eat. A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Can I take your order?"

Biden says, "Yes, I'd like a quickie!"

She turns a little red and say, "Sir, with you running for president I don't think you should even be suggesting something l...

If you don't know how to pronounce the "g" in "gif"...

it's pronounced just like the "g" in "gigantic"

I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"

“Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"

The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."

Passing through Issaquah, Washington, we weren't sure how it was pronounced. Stopping at a local business, we asked "Could you tell us, very slowly, exactly where we are right now?"

The answer came back across the crackly speaker "BUUURRRGERRR KINGGG!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to figure out how to pronounce Peter Buttigieg’s name.

Then I was told it rhymes with “Heater.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend tried to tell me Uranus is pronounced 'Your Anus'. I scoffed at him and simply said....

M'ars

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

I'm having trouble learning new languages. Every time I try to pronounce "Blyat"...

The Russians look at me funny.

Johnny was a bright, charming boy

and he was even fairly good-looking. The only problem was that he had lost his eye in a fishing accident when he was younger. They were too poor to afford a glass eye, so his father made him a wooden one.

He was made fun of all through school for his eye and it completely destroyed his self e...

Incorrectly pronounced French jokes?

Oh please, so quiche

Why is “queue” always pronounced as “q”?

Because the other letters are waiting in line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you pronounce XXXTentacion?

Dead.

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville?

It's Frankfort.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. How do tell the difference between a porn star and a statistician?

Get them to pronounce "analyzed".

OC. This is my take on the joke about how the chemist and the plumber pronounce "unionized"

If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom'

Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?

Why do you pronounce the word ‘tea’ like just ‘t’?

You have to pay for the ‘ea’

Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp?

"I love you"

Source: my father has a lisp

what do u call a group of colonels ?

a cob .


(cuz its pronounced kernel in american )

no ? ok ..

Some say the "e" in the word "subtle" is silent

But I just pronounce it subtly.

Why don’t we pronounce k in knowledge

We haven’t acknowledged it yet

I’ll walk myself out

Some pronounce it as gif, others say gif but the correct way is actually

gif

A man walks into a restaurant where his girlfriend works and sits down.

She goes Up to him and asks what he wants, he respons with "How about a quickie?" She says "I can't do that at work!" And walks away, then the man sitting at the table next to him says "Excuse me sir but it's pronounced quiche."

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet...

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.

At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.

When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash....

Have you heard the people who pronounce 'Pangea' with a hard 'g' instead of the soft one?

For the confused, I'm talking about consonantal drift.

A soldier was rushed to the hospital with a horrific bayonet wound.

Unfortunately, he was pronounced dead on a rifle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A therapist who couldn’t pronounce his R’s correctly was recently fired for being a white supremacist.

Because he told his patients that everything was going “to be all white”.

I wasnt aware that the name Niamh was pronounced Neve

Until my mate Stiamh told me

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