Why do British people pronounce the word “Bri’ish” like they do?

Because they drank all the T.

(Told to me by my 11yo)

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced...

"BOOM"

I hope that blew your minds.

It would be r/funny if this post blows up.

Whats it called when you barely pronounce a T?

Subtlety.

A man spends his whole life thinking GIF is pronounced "giff"

Some of his friends still insist that it's "jiff". When he finally dies and goes to heaven he asks God "is GIF pronounced "giff" or "jiff"? God says "it's "jiff"". He responds with "ok, JOD."

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

"BOOM"



I hope that blew your minds

Why do Bri'ish people never pronounce the letter 't' ?

Because they drank it all

I just can't pronounce `Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn`, but I'm trying to do better -

I just signed up for an online course called `Hooked on Cthonics`

Two computer nerds start arguing about if they have to pronounce it gif or jif.

The argument gets extremely heated and it goes on for hours.

In the end they just decide to have the sandwich with just the jelly.

Why do British people pronounce it "bri'ish"?

Because after the incident in Boston, they always hide the t

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In my thesis, I was gonna prove that Brits often pronounce "th-" sounds as "f"

Turns out it was a shitty idea.

Q: How do you pronounce e-s-c-h-e-w?

Q: How do you pronounce e-s-c-h-e-w?

A: Eschew

Q: Gesundheit

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

I asked my friend how nihilism is pronounced.

Neelishm or nylisim.

He said “it doesn’t matter.”

Historical Context on How to Pronounce the Sauce

Since we are talking about how to pronounce the sauce. I though I would give some historical context I was talk when I was younger.

In the 19th Century, 2 men in England created a new sauce. It was savory, and went well with potatoes and meats. The 2 men didn't know what to call this sauce, s...

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead

Not happy with the vet’s diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
“There” says the vet,” Your hamster is dead”.
Still not ha...

There's a reason Bri ish people don' pronounce their T's

We drank them all.

Why don't British people pronounce the letter 't'?

Because the Americans threw it in the ocean.

ALTERNATE PUNCHLINE: Because they drank it all.

People who pronounce "vase" like "voz"

Make me want to punch them in the foz.

How do you tell a chemist and a plumber apart?



You ask them to pronounce unionized.

There is no "i" in "team.

"But there's an "i" in "Tim," and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team." So....there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you pronounce "fuck off" backwards.

you say it in a British accent.

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

TIL that sugar is the only word starting with “S” that’s pronounced “Sh”. At least, I’m pretty sure.

Total repost, just thought it was funny and people should see it again.

How do you pronounce "banana split"?

Ban-ana

I just found out that the name Niamh is pronounced Neve.

I couldn't beliamh it!

A young adult named Bob enters a confessional

Bob: “Forgive me father, for I have sined.”

Priest: “It’s pronounced ‘sinned’, but that’s unimportant, what have you done?”

Bob: “I divided the opposite side by the Hypotenuse on a right triangle”

English is weird. Sometimes the letter 'c' is pronounced like 's', but other times not.

Source: course

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."

The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.

"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

Two English tourists were driving through Wales.At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch they asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument.Can you pronounce where we are,very,very,slowly?"

The girl leaned over and said:

“Burrr… gurrr… King.”

What's the difference between a pipe fitter and a chemical engineer?

They way they pronounce unionized.

You can't pronounce 'O' while biting your lower lip.

Again, louder baby

You have to be from Hong Kong to get this joke.

My dad's coworker, Joachim, was applying for a visa to travel to America at the U.S. Consulate in Hong Kong. The immigration officer interviewing him ask where in the U.S. he was planning to stay.

"San Jose" , he answered.

The immigration officer corrects him that in the U.S. they pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My son adorably can't pronounce Ks and they always come out as Ts...

... it was all cute until he asked my neighbour if he could "stroke her titties".

My wife says I can't pronounce Frederick properly.

**DOCTOR:** What? Can you say it again?

**ME:** Frederick

**DOCTOR:** Your pronunciation is perfect, tell your wife that you don't have any problem with that.

**MY WIFE:** What did the doctor said?

**ME:** The doctor said that there is nothing wrong with my pronunciation ...

A router and a modem got married.....

They where pronounced husbandwith and WiFi

Can you please tell me how to pronounce the variable y subscripted by a zero?

Sure, why not.

How do you tell an American and a Brit apart?

One will try to pronounce every letter in Queue

Her: I'm sorry sir, your dad was pronounced dead.

Me: I can't believe I've been pronouncing it wrong all this time!

How do you pronounce that word?

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.


A particularly beautiful waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order,


"What would you like, sir?


"He looks at...

How do you pronounce a Welsh town?

Caerphilly

What do a guy who likes fruit and a cannibalistic Central American who can’t pronounce the letter G have in common?

They both love eating Watahmalans

Pronounce it please!

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.


As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the "blonde" employee: "Before we order...

If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom'

Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend tried to tell me Uranus is pronounced 'Your Anus'. I scoffed at him and simply said....

M'ars

It’s pronounced school

Not shooting range

If you don't know how to pronounce the "g" in "gif"...

it's pronounced just like the "g" in "gigantic"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was trying to figure out how to pronounce Peter Buttigieg’s name.

Then I was told it rhymes with “Heater.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you pronounce XXXTentacion?

Dead.

A few friends are about to get to Louisville and they start arguing over how it's pronounced.

One says it's Lewis-Ville. The next one says the locals say Lew-ville and the last one says Lewie-ville. After arguing for a few minutes they see a place to get some lunch. They can't wait to ask one of the employees how they say it to prove who's right. They all go up to the counter and one says, "...

I'm having trouble learning new languages. Every time I try to pronounce "Blyat"...

The Russians look at me funny.

Have you heard the people who pronounce 'Pangea' with a hard 'g' instead of the soft one?

For the confused, I'm talking about consonantal drift.

Some pronounce it as gif, others say gif but the correct way is actually

gif

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville?

It's Frankfort.

Incorrectly pronounced French jokes?

Oh please, so quiche

My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients

I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.

Passing through Issaquah, Washington, we weren't sure how it was pronounced. Stopping at a local business, we asked "Could you tell us, very slowly, exactly where we are right now?"

The answer came back across the crackly speaker "BUUURRRGERRR KINGGG!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It seems that the California Dept. of Transportation wanted to build a highway that went right smack through Chief Bowels' teepee.

It seems that the California Dept. of Transportation wanted to build a highway that went right smack through Chief Bowels' teepee. Chief Bowels said, "Bowels no move," and the chief engineer said, "See my supervisor here at this address; second floor, first door on LEFT." Well, Chief Bowels found th...

Why don’t we pronounce k in knowledge

We haven’t acknowledged it yet

I’ll walk myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I taught my nephew to skip the first "H" whenever he reads/pronounce English words

E.g honest, hour, honour. Later that day i told him to *heat* my food in the microwave. I almost killed that bastard.

I wasnt aware that the name Niamh was pronounced Neve

Until my mate Stiamh told me

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