UPJOKE
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Milked Jokes

God created the first Swiss and asked him:

"What do you want?"
"Mountains," replied the Swiss.

God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him, "What else do you want?"
"Cows," said the Swiss.

God created cows for the Swiss. The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, "Will you taste, dear God?" The Swiss fill...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals....

The first animal to be mechanically milked must have been pumped

I know its an old joke, and I'm milking it dry. I just think its dairy funny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do cows look so depressed after being milked?

Well if someone woke you up early, rubbed your tits for two hours and didn't shag you, you`d be pissed off too!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

Guy 1 :why is she so grumpy I just milked her?!

Guy 2 :was there 1 utter ?

Guy 1 :yeah why?

Guy 2 :that's not a she, that wasn't milk

Guy 1: ...

What's black and white and being milked tonight?

Michael brown's death

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